When I was hugged and listened to those gentle words, my anxiety dissipated.
For my first time, we only used our hands.
I got kissed once…or rather, it’s only done several times a day.
But I was never touched.
However, today, I was touched in a s*xual way.
I was touched while being kissed and it felt so good, nothing like I’ve ever felt before.
When he put his finger in my h*le, I tensed up.
…but maybe because of that, or maybe because it’s impossible to insert it in a place I’ve never been inserted from, Rodo’s movement stopped.
(Did he find it troublesome?)
Once I thought so, my anxiety grew in the blink of an eye.
However, what I got back was a gentle hug and words that convey love.
I’m glad that Rodo liked me.
Without Rodo, I would have been anxious all the time.
…no, I’m not sure if I’d even be alive.
It seemed like the place where I appeared was a place where people didn’t go much.
The water of that spring seemed drinkable since grass grows there, but only the Doniclon likes it, so it’s a place where only Rodo will go with Sig.
Moreover, it’s also a place where monsters appear.
If I came to a place I don’t know and was attacked by a creature I don’t know with no power to shoot it down, not only because I hadn’t learned magic yet, but also because I didn’t even know that I could use it.
Therefore, I agreed to have Rodo’s protection since it guarantees food, clothing, and shelter.
Rodo saved me from dying.
I didn’t starve, I wasn’t exposed to the rain and wind, and I didn’t endure the cold.
He gave me safety and calmed down my anxiety when I might not be able to return.
That person swore that he’d be by my side during my lifetime.
Someone who said I love you just because he likes me.
He’s sweet, cool, cute, an Akinist, a nyanko-sama, reliable, but also has some unreliable traits…
It’d be more difficult not to like such a person.
I thought it’d be okay to get married if Rodo was my partner.
If I became Rodo’s, I even thought of being embraced.
But with Rodo, I think I can be happy.
And I can’t think of anyone other than Rodo.
I’ve learned more words than before, but it’s not perfect yet.
There are some words that I can’t pronounce well, and most of all, I still don’t understand some words.
So, more often than other people, I and Rodo feel like we’re short on words.
There are many cases where people misunderstood each other and became anxious because they do not understand the other’s thoughts.
I want to learn the language quickly, but this is already the best I could do.
Even with this, I’m doing my best like never before.
I’ve been working hard like I would in an entrance exam.
I’m not that good at listening to words even after all this time, but I did my best.
But it’s hard to remember and speak a word I don’t know from scratch.
In the old days, I would have praised myself “well done” given my current accomplishments.
But now, I’m not satisfied with the current situation.
There are no exams here and no one to compare the results with, but if I can’t communicate, we’ll just pass by each other.
I don’t want that unnecessary anxiety, especially on Rodo.
Therefore, I can’t be satisfied with the current situation.
In Rodo’s arms, my cheeks got stroked and I was determined to achieve my goals.
I looked up and smiled gently.
…but, I didn’t receive any glaring eyes.
There’s no disgust when Rodo saw me s*xually.
I’m rather comfortable.
I’m already prepared, and I wish he had done it to the end if he was this gentle.
I probably can’t keep up if Rodo became serious since I’m already defeated with just a kiss.
I stretched out my arms and put them around his neck.
Then, our lips overlapped again.
And we got swallowed by the transmitted heat.
A slippery finger came in.
I have a better understanding of homosexuality in Japan…or rather, there’s no need in this world since it’s normal.
I used to use lotion when I m@sturb@ted with my fingers, but it’s completely different from that time.
Is Rodo’s finger thicker than mine?
I understand that I’m strangely nervous even though I’m already prepared.
The finger went deeper little by little, even having a feeling of oppression.
It’s a place where I’ve only put one finger in, so it can’t be helped.
The feeling of oppression and that unpleasant feeling that’s different when I’m doing it myself made me groan involuntarily.
As I clung to Rodo’s body, he stroked my head to reassure me.
“Kou, does it hurt?”
He anxiously asked, but I shook my head.
So far, it didn’t hurt.
I’m just fighting against the oppressive feeling of being spread from the inside and the unpredictable movement.
But I don’t want him to stop.
Rather, I don’t want it to stop.
As I exhaled and tried to relax, Rodo stopped moving again.
When I looked up, it looks like he wanted to say something.
I hope he’s not about to say, “I’m going to stop because it looks like it hurts”…
“Rodo? What’s wrong?”
“…Kou, touch, Rodo, first time, right?” (I’m the first to touch Kou, right?)
An unexpected sentence came out.
Does he mean I’m l**se?
Did he find that out just from touching there?
This is embarrassing. It felt like he peeped into me m@sturb@ting…
To such an unexpected question, I ended up tilting my head.
What is he talking about?
“Who’s your partner?”
I finally realized that he misunderstood.
I shook my head in a hurry.
But for some reason, Rodo painfully distorted his face.
Did he misunderstand again?
“Are you forced? I will kill that guy!”
(Eh? Is he thinking that I had an attempted r@pe?)
I’m surprised at how much the story jumped, but I still shook my head.
Such a terrible thing hasn’t happened to me.
It’s embarrassing to say it, but I don’t want to be misunderstood like this.
It’s really embarrassing to say it with his finger inside.
“…home, I touch myself.”
I tried to say “touched”, but maybe because I’m upset, I said it in the present tense. (T/N: Instead of saying he did it in Japan, it’s like he’s saying he did it at their home in Marihect.)
…he’s staring at me silently, but I want you to please stop.
It’s not like I can’t m@sturb@te in this world, what are you surprised at?
I turn my face away from too much shame.
A strange voice came out when the finger suddenly invaded to the end.
I turned my gaze to Rodo──I regret a little that I didn’t look at him.
Rodo’s eyes sparkled more than before.
(The reason…i-is that, right?)
I involuntarily worried about that.
However, it seems like his reason hasn’t been cut off.
Slowly, ever so slowly, even this action was made carefully.
The feeling of oppression and fear gradually faded away.
The part that might be the pr*st@te is stimulated and I got swallowed by the pleasure.
Even so, when I was able to insert Rodo’s, it hurt and I cried.
After all, it’s a tough size for beginners.
Repeat shallow breathing to endure the pain.
Even the fact that I couldn’t speak the language disappeared from my head, and I have a vague memory of speaking Japanese several times.
“Kou. Kou, are you okay?”
I’m glad you’re worried about me, but I hope you don’t move now.
I can’t answer and could only groan. He stroked my cheeks and I want to say, “stay still”, but it’s painful so I can’t speak.
Seems like he wiped the hair that seemed to stick to my forehead with sweat…
[Ah, stupid. Don’t move.]
Even if Rodo only moves a bit, the vibration could be felt because it’s inside.
But when I hit the chest in front of me──I self-destructed.
That’s because of the vibration that action caused.
I stopped breathing involuntarily, but I hurriedly exhaled and relaxed.
If I hold my breath, it’ll be more painful.
Rodo, who knew I’m suffering, is still waiting without moving.
He wants me to get used to this oppressive feeling quickly, but it didn’t work.
I’m full just from the insertion…
I became anxious and asked, “are you okay with me”, to which Rodo answered that he’s honestly happy.
I’m not sure if I want to cry or to laugh.
I smiled at Rodo──it might have looked like a crying smile, but──he returned it and gave me a biting kiss.
As for the ones after that, I’m at his mercy.
It hurt, it’s painful, I’m about to vomit, but…but it’s getting better and better.
A voice comes out every time Rodo moves, but honestly, I don’t remember what I said.
I don’t even know if it’s in Japanese or Marihect’s language.
The only thing I remember vividly is the feeling of him inside.
Hence, my stormy first time ended without leaving too much memory.