In the beginning, Yi Shao actually hated Yi Ti, a sister who was four years younger than himself.
Later, he thought that this emotion was probably due to jealousy.
When he was about three years old, his parents went abroad one after another because of work and threw him to the nanny at home. Although there’s no shortage of food and clothing, for children, it’s not enough to eat or dress warmly. So to this day, although he missed his parents, he occasionally felt that they’re not responsible enough.
Four years later, at the age of seven, he finally learned the good news that his parents were coming back, but at the same time, he also got bad news—— he had a three-year-old sister.
Although he felt a little naive thinking about it now, Yi Shao remembered clearly that at that time, his small chest was indeed full of loss, sadness, and anger. This emotion probably originated from the parents who left him aside for a long time but gave love to another person during this period.
And this person was his sister.
He’s jealous.
However, children’s emotions couldn’t influence anyone, let alone change established facts. Whether he wanted it or not, he still had an extra sister and his parents were definitely bringing her to his home.
The feeling of his territory being invaded was very strong.
Obviously, the parents who’d been away from home for a long time couldn’t perceive his emotions, and the only one who noticed was the nanny who had been taking care of him. During these four years, she took care of him with due diligence, and the two naturally accumulated strong emotions. It’s a pity that she didn’t leave any contact information when she left his home, and he couldn’t find this kind aunt. With the help of the nanny, the almost volatile emotion in Yi Shao’s heart calmed down a bit, but he still hated that little sister who appeared out of nowhere.
Until that day…
Yi Shao would always remember that it was a winter morning.
He was still huddled in bed when he suddenly felt something. He didn’t know if it was because they’re connected by blood, but he subconsciously jumped out of bed, put on slippers, and ran towards the living room.
“Xiao Shao!”
Almost at the same time, the woman who was taking off her thick coat brightened her eyes and shouted at him.
“M…mom?”
“You’re all grown up.” The man beside the woman smiled gently and beckoned to Yi Shao, “Come here, mom and dad brought you a lot of gifts.”
No matter what complaints were in his heart before, at this moment, Yi Shao completely forgot about it and without thinking, raised his foot to walk towards the two.
At this moment, the woman pushed someone from behind her to the front and said softly, “Xiao Ti, that’s the brother I told you about.”
Yi Shao’s footsteps stopped.
He stared blankly at the little girl in a pink coat. She wore a fluffy pink hat on her head with the scarf and shoes also pink. She looked like a pink ball.
It’s quite…
Lovely.
Even though he had decided to hate her, only when they met for the first time did this belief collapse.
“Go, Xiao Ti, go and say hello to brother.”
Yi Shao subconsciously held his breath, and then saw the little girl glance at him timidly, then walked forward. The three-year-old was already able to walk, but probably because of too many clothes, she stumbled a little, which made people worry she’d fall.
His heart couldn’t help but sway.
Fortunately, she finally managed to stop in front of him. After looking at him for a moment, she stretched out her hand to carefully grasp the corner of his clothes, then whispered: “Brother.”
Thinking back now, that sound almost made his heart melt.
And so, he was conquered in that way.
Now that he thought about it, this feeling was actually quite similar to “love at first sight” and it might be based on the blood resonance in his body. With just one glance, he decided to be a good brother and protect his sister.
Today’s Yi Shao could proudly say: “I did it.”
When Xiao Ti first came home, she would always have nightmares probably because of unfamiliarity with her surroundings. It was obvious that their busy parents couldn’t take care of her all the time, so naturally, she was thrown to Yi Shao.
And so, there was always a little dumpling full of milk on his bed.
Xiao Ti had been very good since she was a child, very obedient, and never played pranks. When he was doing his homework under the lamp, she’d obediently sit on the rug beside him with her doll, playing on her own. When he packed up his things and beckoned to her, her eyes would brighten as she stumbled over with the doll in her arms and plunged headfirst into his arms, crying out “Brother, I want to listen to a story” or “Brother, play games with me.”
She also “did things by herself” when she washed up in the evening. It’s okay even when brushing her teeth since she had an electric toothbrush. When washing her face though, she couldn’t squeeze the towel at all. Every time, he had to help her squeeze the towel then hand it to her and watch her rub her face like a kitten.
At that time, she had ear length short hair and cute bangs with a round small face that’s always glowing a healthy pink. There’s also a little belly that was soft to the touch. Because his bed was a little high, she’d raise her hands every time and shout at him expectantly: “Brother, hug~”
He’d bend down, pick up the little girl in pink pajamas, and put her firmly on the bed.
Then, she’d grin and burrow on the bed like a little hamster, revealing only two big eyes as she patted the other side with her hand: “Brother, come up quickly.”
He’d then climb up and watch her roll into his arms, clinging to him like a little octopus, even rubbing her little head in his arms, and acting like a little baby: “Brother, I want to listen to a story.”
So he started telling stories.
“The Grimm’s Fairy Tales”, “Andersen’s Fairy Tales”, “One Thousand and One Nights”, “Aesop’s Fables”…
He spoke slowly, patiently and vividly, allowing her to interrupt and ask questions from time to time, or pull the topic to a thousand miles away.
Anyone who knew Yi Shao would be shocked to see this scene because, in their minds, Yi Shao was excellent but a standard patient with the cold syndrome and came with a “don’t talk to me” aura. When have they seen him be so patient and gentle?
This was probably the legendary “everything had a weakness*“.
Since having her, every day was full of happiness and time flew quickly.
And then…
Their parents died.
That year, he was ten years old, and she was six years old. It was the age when he could feel the difference between life and death.
Their parents died in a car accident.
He had to say that this was really ironic because of their work. The husband and wife rode various means of transportation and eventually died by it. Because of the cause of death, the parents that the siblings saw had makeup on. It looked a lot like before but also not.
He remembered very clearly that Xiao Ti trembled after only one glance, and she cried as she stepped back and said: “This is not mom and dad.”
He hugged her in silence, put her head in his arms, and let his chest be wet with hot tears. He said nothing.
With the help of relatives, everything in the funeral went in an orderly manner, and then, their parents were forever isolated behind the tombstone.
That day, Xiao Ti held the tombstone, crying out and saying that she wouldn’t let go. That scream almost tore his heart. He stepped forward and hugged her small body. She trembled all over, turned her head, and looked at him expectantly as she innocently asked: “Brother, can you let mom and dad come back? I think they…why is everyone saying I can’t see them?”
In her mind, her brother seemed to be able to do everything.
But in fact, he couldn’t do anything.
So he could only silently hold her without saying a word.
She seemed to feel something and never said anything like that again. She just clutched his clothes tightly and asked him, “Brother, will you leave too? Will you?”
Her body trembled so terribly, like a candle facing the wind, as if as long as he said “yes”, it’d go out immediately.
“No.”
“Really?”
“En, don’t worry, brother will never leave you, he will always be by your side.”
He had kept this promise.
But at the same time, he also knew that the person who’d definitely leave first was her.
They’re siblings, but because they’re siblings, they’d have their own families and lives one day. Although he walked with her all the way, once they reached a certain point, they would naturally separate, even if they’re unwilling.
For her happiness, this kind of pain was completely tolerable.
Yi Shao, who was sitting quietly on the balcony looking up at the stars, lit a cigarette. He rarely smoked because his sister hated the smell of cigarettes, but at this moment, he suddenly wanted to smoke.
The stars were shining in the night sky, but which one was Xiao Ti on right now?
Maybe this one, maybe that one…
One day, her footsteps would be all over the vast universe. This might be a good thing for him because as long as he raised his head, he could see traces of his sister.
Yi Shao narrowed his eyes and smiled slightly.
Smoke poured out, and there was suddenly the sound of music downstairs——
Please be happier than me, so that it’s not in vain that I’m embarrassed…
No matter how painful it is, don’t talk about suffering…
At least I can fulfill your goal…
Please remember that you have to be happier than me to be worth my cruelty to myself…
He vaguely remembered that this was an old song, and the title seemed to be “Please Be Happier Than Me”. Although the lyrics were a bit less appropriate, it didn’t matter.
So, Xiao Ti, you must be happy.
Must be happier than him, happier than anyone else.
Otherwise, your brother’s pain will be in vain.
Translator’s Notes:
*一物降一物, yīwùxiángyīwù, lit. one object bests another object / every item has a weakness (idiom) / there is a rock to every scissor, a scissor to every paper, and a paper to every rock