AGJN 105: Extra Chapter 2

In the capital, one could roughly discern a sect’s affiliation based on how a spiritual master referred to Lan He and Song Futan.

If someone called Lan He “Master Lan” or “City God Lord,” and Song Futan “City God Lady,” they were likely from the Taoist sect, showing closeness mixed with teasing.

When addressed as “Master” or “Great Master,” it was usually the Buddhist sect, conveying respect for their seniority and wisdom.

But if Lan He was called “Uncle Master” and Song Futan “Outer Aunt Master,” then it was undoubtedly by a Xiangtou (a spiritual head).

—Under the Four Great Sects system, Lan He could also be considered a Xiangtou, even though he didn’t participate in their organization. Still, whenever they met, other Xiangtou were happy to build a rapport with him, taking the liberty of addressing him as Uncle Master or even Senior Uncle.

Since Xiangtou, regardless of gender, shared such titles, their spouses’ titles were differentiated by “inner” and “outer” designations: the wife of an Uncle Master would be called Inner Aunt Master, while the husband would be Outer Uncle Master. Similarly, the husband of a Senior Brother would be Outer Senior Brother, and the wife would be Inner Senior Brother. This pattern was applied consistently.

Lan He, being unaffiliated and a rather unconventional medium, often struggled with proper etiquette.

For instance, Lan He initially didn’t know that the spirits highly valued their birthdays, celebrating milestone years with grandeur.

Liu 13 once claimed he was celebrating his five-thousandth birthday and asked Lan He for a grand feast. Lan He, however, made him write “bragging” a hundred times instead, or else he wouldn’t even provide incense offerings.

One time, Lan He got so busy he overlooked something, only to hear faint weeping coming from a corner close to midnight.

Lan He: “…”

After searching for a while, he found Bai Wu with his head squeezed into the gap behind a chest of drawers.

Lan He poked Bai Wu out with a stick and scolded, “Hu 79! Did you steal his glasses?”

Hu 79 haughtily replied, “What does this have to do with me? I just mocked him a few times today!”

“…” Lan He was speechless. He turned to Liu 13 and asked, “So it’s you then? Did you yell at Bai Wu? You know he dislikes loud noises.”

Liu 13, who was as loud as a megaphone and loved scolding others, thundered, “It wasn’t me!!!!”

Bai Wu immediately shrank back.

Liu 13 lowered his voice and mocked, “It’s clearly you. Today is Thornball’s birthday, and you didn’t give him anything. People fight for dignity, spirits fight for incense offerings—understand?”

“Huh?” Lan He scratched his head. “Oh no, I forgot… It’s already 12:20.”

The sobbing grew louder.

Lan He: “…”

“Let’s make it up to Yiping. Tomorrow, we can invite the Bai Sect over for a vegetarian feast,” Song Futan suggested.

“Alright, send out the invitations now. Yiping, stop crying. Remember, you’re the iron-blooded Bai Sect, the pride of the Bai Sect.” Lan He grabbed Yiping’s hind legs and flipped him over.

Yiping transformed back into his human form, removed his glasses, and wiped his tears. “How, how many rounds should we host?”

They didn’t speak in terms of tables but rounds. Spirits didn’t sit at tables; they gathered around the incense tower for their vegetarian meals.

Lan He said, “Back when the Hu Sect hosted twenty rounds and Liu 13 hosted ten… You, asking this is pointless. I’ll host five rounds for you. Can your sect even fill all the seats?”

Yiping: “…”

Yiping was about to burst into tears again. Exactly!

To help Yiping save face, the next day, they built an incense tower in the courtyard, hung up banners, and hosted a grand banquet for the Bai Sect.

However, unlike other sects that sat in circles facing inward, the Bai Sect sat in a circle facing outward, with their backs to each other.

Lan He, upon seeing this: “…”

Fine, they’re all old introverts.

Yiping also had to deliver a speech as an exemplary member of the Bai Sect, using his happy life to inspire the younger generation.

His gaze drifted as he said, “As long as everyone cultivates diligently, they too can achieve such treatment.”

A brave little Thornball asked, “Fifth Uncle, how do you get along with the other spirits in the household?”

Other members of the Bai Sect nodded in agreement, eager for the answer. For the Bai Sect, coexisting with other spirits in a host family was indeed a significant challenge.

Yiping replied, “First of all, your host family needs to have money. I live alone in the basement, and I just ignore them…”

The others: “…”

Liu 13 burst into laughter, “Hahaha, exactly! Every time he comes upstairs, he’s sneaky and tiptoes around, avoiding us like the plague. Hahaha!”

Liu 13, being a renowned and powerful figure in the capital, laughed so loudly that the Bai Sect members didn’t dare make a sound, though they felt bitter about it.

Even if they found a host family, it was easy for the other three sects to overshadow them. Despite Bai Wu being the first to arrive, he…

Yiping, however, had been trained under Lan He. Seeing Lan He’s encouraging gaze, he clenched his fist tightly around his thorn weapon.

Liu 13 noticed this and let out a sinister snort. “Huh?”

Yiping’s eyes immediately reddened. He loosened his grip on the thorn but began picking up trash and hurling it at Liu 13 while crying and cursing incoherently, calling him names like “bullhorn snake” and “old number five.”

Liu 13: “!!”

Liu 13 roared, “How dare you insult me!! And even attack me!!!”

…Especially in front of so many outsiders!

But every time Yiping treated Liu 13, he would cry several times, and Liu 13 had grown used to it.

After venting, Yiping looked skyward, tears streaming down his face, showing an expression of indifference—take it or leave it.

Liu 13 couldn’t retort. After glaring at the Bai Sect members with their bead-like black eyes, he turned and climbed a tree. “Damn it, lunatic.”

Yiping slowly got up and said, “That’s how it’s done. It’s not hard to learn. Just muster up the courage to curse and then wait for death. You might not even die.”

The scene fell silent for a few seconds before erupting into a round of applause from the Bai Sect members, full of admiration and lasting for a long time.

Lan He: “…”

Lan He’s accidental exposure in front of the Chen siblings was quite unexpected.

At the time, they were on a road trip together, and Chen Xingyang casually mentioned the widely circulated tale: if someone calls you from behind at night, you must never turn around.

This was because names were tied to ancient witchcraft—responding to a name could cause your soul to follow. Additionally, humans have three spiritual lamps on their head and shoulders, representing their yang energy and serving as protection. Turning around would extinguish these lamps.

Coincidentally, that night, they encountered a pair of ghosts, one old and one new. The old ghost was teaching the new ghost: “According to ancient lore, if we call a living person’s name from behind, and they turn around, their yang energy will extinguish, allowing us to take advantage. To learn their name, you need to investigate or use skills like mimicking their loved ones’ voices.”

The ghosts then practiced their ancient art. Lan He, unguarded, turned around, startling the ghosts so much that they fled, screaming into the night sky, “Run, it’s Lan He!”

Chen Xingyu and Chen Xingyang were also terrified.

Lan He wanted to smooth things over, but it was too late. The suspicious siblings quickly confirmed that Lan He’s righteous and upright persona, which he had upheld for years, was a complete sham.

Chen Xingyang grabbed Lan He, yelling repeatedly, “You lied to me! You lied to me! You lied to me!”

However, after discovering Lan He’s true identity, many mysteries they had been pondering suddenly became clear.

For instance, why Lan He was allowed to strike the bell at Juehui Temple, or why fortune tellers in the capital had, over the past two years, begun associating dimples with a hint of ominousness…

The matter had even sparked online discussion. Someone complained: “Since when did dimples become bad luck? Growing up, they always said people with dimples were cheerful, filial, and clever. Yesterday, a master told me my face had a hint of menace but assured me it just scares off ghosts.”

Replies ranged from skepticism—calling it nonsense—to others sharing similar experiences. When people compared notes, they realized that only fortune tellers in the capital made this claim, speaking in unison, while other regions had no such legend.

The topic “What do dimples represent in your hometown?” sparked heated discussion. Chen Xingyang had even remarked at the time, “Pretty accurate, huh? Lan He has dimples, and even ghosts are terrified.”

…Now he understood why.

It was akin to sharing a name with the underworld’s enforcers—just hearing it would make little ghosts jump. Lan He’s dimples had instilled such fear in the capital’s ghosts that any similar feature would make them shudder.

The Chen siblings, having a good relationship with Lan He, naturally kept the secret to themselves.

However, Chen Xingyu had other close friends. For a while, Lan He noticed that she frequently brought a female friend to his house, which led Song Futan to cast a few suspicious glances—until it was later revealed that the woman was already married.

Eventually, Lan He couldn’t hold back and asked Chen Xingyu, “I think Sister Tongtong is a nice person, but don’t you think you’re bringing her to visit me a bit too often?”

Introducing friends was fine, but Lan He always felt that Chen Xingyu had some ulterior motive.

Chen Xingyu felt a little awkward and explained, “Actually, I just wanted to let her soak up some of your good fortune. You know, because of your… special status.”

“Oh.” Lan He relaxed a little and asked, “Then why not just bring her to burn some incense? What exactly is she wishing for? Health? Merit?”

As the City God, he oversaw a wide range of matters—weather, security, morality, and so on.

Chen Xingyu sighed, “Ah, Tongtong’s been married for ten years. All her health checkups are fine, but for some reason, she just hasn’t been able to have a child.”

Lan He: “…?”

Lan He finally reacted. “Are you serious? Infertility, and you came to me for that?!”

Wouldn’t it make more sense to take her to Miaogan Mountain? Why was she coming to him for infertility issues?

Chen Xingyu explained, “She’s been to Miaogan Mountain, prayed three times without success. The monks there said her luck hasn’t aligned. I figured, since your family is so full of kids, and you do have a connection to Miaogan Mountain…”

Lan He: “…”

Lan He was furious. Prejudice! This was outright prejudice!

Just because he was one of the generals under Bixia Yuanjun, did that mean he had some innate talent for child-rearing? All those kids were unexpected arrivals!

Lan He grumbled angrily, “Stop coming here. Asking me won’t help.”

What annoyed him even more was that, six months later, Tongtong actually got pregnant. Under Chen Xingyu’s subtle gaze, Lan He felt like no matter how hard he tried to explain, he couldn’t clear his name.

“Well, no matter what… thank you. Tongtong is really happy now,” Chen Xingyu said with a reserved smile.

It had nothing to do with me! Nothing to do with me!

Lan He replied woodenly, “You know, having kids isn’t a necessity in life.”

Chen Xingyu nodded, “I know, but Tongtong really wanted one. She often says Miaomiao is so well-behaved. I look at your kids and think they’re incredible. I wonder if Miaomiao will be just as adorable when she grows up.”

Lan He said, “Kids don’t necessarily turn out the way you expect…” He glanced over and said to the family spirits, “Children, each of you say something sweet to Dad, so she can see what it’s like. Okay?”

Liu 13 didn’t even look up. “I’m your father.”

Chang Yueyuan opened her mouth so wide it could fit a water bucket. “Daddy, I’m still hungry!!”

First Lady Hu snickered. “Can I call you Mommy?”

Hu 79: “Why haven’t you gone out to work yet?”

The two daughters of the Melonhead family didn’t say anything but made their thoughts clear with their actions. They rummaged through boxes and cabinets, frantically grabbing all the incense and paper money, leaving nothing behind. Then they climbed onto Lan He, searching his body, their tails nearly slapping his face.

Bai Wu asked, “Can I recommend other hedgehogs to take over as your children in the future?”

And Old Bai delivered the final blow: “You old geezer, make some money already.”

…

Chen Xingyu: “…”

Lan He: “See? Children might turn out ungrateful.”

Chen Xingyu: “…”

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Author’s Note:

This marks the end of the extras. Wishing everyone eternal cuteness!