Old Bai: “Come on, I know you have hidden meanings in your words…!”
Lan He looked confused and said, “Huh? What?”
Old Bai watched for a while, not finding a single flaw, and then angrily cursed, “You actor!!”
Lan He: “So, are you still coming to my hotel later?”
Old Bai: “Oh, I’m going.”
Even that sudden surge of fatherly love in the form of a hot treasure didn’t stop him. Would being treated as a son make him give up? Ridiculous.
Lan He asked him, “Aren’t you here to handle a case? What case?”
“Yeah, a ghost escaped.” Old Bai looked around and said gloomily, “I was careless for a moment, chased it all the way here, and now it’s gone.”
Generally, when a ghost is passed through by a human, its form becomes momentarily blurred and takes some time to reform. That feeling is unpleasant, so normal ghosts don’t like to be around people. This amusement park, apart from the small area occupied by the film crew, is empty, making it a suitable place for them to stay.
Lan He started to have some doubts, “Last time you told me that the escape rate from the Eastern Peak Underworld is much lower than that of the Underworld Court… Is the Impermanence Knot effective or not? Are you bragging to me?”
He had learned the Impermanence Knot and hoped it wasn’t a waste of time.
Old Bai’s face turned blue, and he defended himself stubbornly: “How could it be fake? This time, it was just an accident. That ghost had a different name in life and death!”
Lan He, seeing his neck stiffen more and more, got scared for a moment: “Speak properly, what do you mean by ‘different name in life and death’?”
Old Bai: “Today that ghost, my documents say his name is Yao Shengming, but when I got there, he pointed to his ID card and told me, ‘You’re looking for Yao Shengming, what’s that got to do with me, Chu Shengming!’ I saw it wasn’t a fake ID, so I thought I got the wrong person. After looking for a long time, I realized he was gone, then I realized, it’s a different name in life and death!
“Some families have different surnames on their living ID and their tombstone after death. Many generations are like this. Our life and death register is based on death names, but sometimes it updates slowly or has errors… I quickly checked. For this family, the different surnames in life and death started generations ago. One of the women from the Chu family remarried into the Yao family after her husband died, bringing her children from the Chu family with her. Later, when they became successful, both the Chu and Yao families wanted to claim the descendants. So from then on, their descendants had different names in life and death, living as Chu, and dying as Yao.
“You see, can you blame me for this? Even if Yan San came, he would be just as confused!”
Lan He didn’t expect such a custom to exist, “That must be hard for you, generations without updating, too slow with paperwork. By the way, I’m also looking for someone, how about we go together?”
…
“Why can’t I get up there…” Shi Xuan, carrying her DSLR, mumbled. She wanted to find a higher place for a better photo. The amusement park at night, with its bright lights, looked beautiful. Since it was rented out to the film crew and quite late, it was empty, giving it a unique charm.
Shi Xuan felt she was very close to the filming location, just across the street and around a corner, so she wasn’t worried.
Being in an amusement park, most buildings were in warm and cute colors, mainly pink-yellow, pink-blue, and pink. The shops on the street had fairy-tale themes, with toys and dolls displayed in the windows. But at night, only dim light shone on them, making them look particularly lonely.
At this moment, she heard faint, cheerful music ahead. As she got closer, it grew louder. It was a foreign song, a sweet female voice that matched the amusement park well.
“Ugh…” Shi Xuan rubbed her arms. She had no desire to find the source of the sound, thinking it eerie. Anyone who has heard a few ghost stories knows not to mess with it.
“No more photos.” Shi Xuan didn’t even dare to look at her photos again, put her camera back in its bag, and decided to head back.
But as she turned back, she felt a bit confused. Was this the place she had come from? It didn’t quite look like it. Was it just a matter of perspective?
She wasn’t sure if she was overthinking things, but as she looked at the dolls in the shop window beside the road, she felt as if she was being watched. Their hollow eyes and smiles made her uneasy.
It must have been the lighting. Who wouldn’t look like they were in a horror movie under such lighting?
She comforted herself inwardly, not too confidently, as she glanced around and walked back. She remembered that she just had to walk past this street, turn a corner, and she should see the film crew.
Turning the corner, she saw an empty carousel, quietly standing under the lights.
“…” Shi Xuan shivered. How could this be?
Was she lost? But how could she get lost on such a simple route? She clearly remembered that she had only left the street a little bit.
Shi Xuan took two steps back and turned around, heading back to the intersection with a grim expression, then turned in another direction. But after turning a corner, she was faced with a row of claw machines, playing cheerful foreign songs.
It was the same sound she had faintly heard from the other end of this road earlier, but she had chosen to turn back then.
But now…
Here, there was another row of operating claw machines?
Previously, the amusement park had felt devoid of visitors, with only faint sounds of the film crew, quiet amidst the hustle and bustle, perfect for photos under the lights. But now, she didn’t know when the crew’s sounds had disappeared, leaving only the loud, poor-quality background music of the claw machines, echoing through the chilly night in the amusement park. Even the cute doll statues along the roadside now made Shi Xuan feel fearful.
Shi Xuan immediately reached into her pocket, but she was wearing a costume and didn’t have her phone. She clutched her camera strap tightly, on the verge of tears. Even a big hedgehog could scare her, let alone this seemingly haunted encounter.
Besides being scared, Shi Xuan felt a bit wronged. She was usually so cautious, never uttering the word “ghost,” not playing with Ouija boards, not being curious about strange noises, not daring to stray far from crowds, and even occasionally going to temples to pray for blessings… So why was she encountering this?
They say ghosts are seven parts afraid of humans, and humans are three parts afraid of ghosts. More aggressive people scare ghosts away, which is why ghosts resort to tricks to scare people first, causing them to lose their nerve.
Having heard many legends, Shi Xuan thought of this theory and began to breathe heavily, trying to calm down and think about what to do. Should she… curse the little ghosts?
But as she trembled and opened her mouth, she realized that while she understood the logic, actually doing it made her go weak all over. The imagined roar turned into a cat-like meow, and she couldn’t even open her mouth fully.
If she cursed like this, she probably wouldn’t scare even a child.
“…Ptooey!” Shi Xuan spat in the direction ahead, trying to muster some momentum, then charged forward with her head down.
The noisy, cheerful music surrounded her, never fading away. Shi Xuan ran until her legs were sore, then looked up to see yet another row of claw machines in front of her, surrounded by unfamiliar buildings, with no sign of the film crew.
The dolls inside the claw machines seemed to be staring at her, with innocent smiles. What usually seemed cute now only drove her crazy. With tears in her eyes, Shi Xuan kicked one of the claw machines and exploded: “Go to hell!”
The machine shook, and a panda doll inside suddenly jumped up, as if clinging to the machine wall, glaring at her with its black-rimmed eyes, despite having no leverage points.
Then, it started pounding on the glass, once, twice, cracks appearing on the surface.
“Ah!!” Shi Xuan no longer had the courage to face it head-on and turned to run, only to crash into someone. She screamed like she had been scalded by boiling water, flailing her limbs wildly like a frog, “Ahhhhhh!!”
“Shi Xuan?”
“…” Shi Xuan’s scream came to an abrupt stop.
She opened her eyes and saw Lan He’s face, who was looking at her with a puzzled expression. “Where did you go to take pictures? Your assistant is looking for you. Why are you playing with the claw machines here?”
Shi Xuan immediately sprang up, clutching Lan He’s sleeve, and closed her eyes again, saying, “Let’s go, let’s go!!”
Seeing her close her eyes, Lan He turned to look in the direction of the claw machines—Old Bai was climbing into a claw machine, fighting with a doll. A ghost, presumably the spirit of Yao Shengming who died under strange circumstances, emerged. He was as thin as a skeleton, pressing his face against the glass, opening his dark mouth towards the living outside. His movements were so intense that many dolls fell out of the claw machine, scattering on the ground.
Lan He remarked, “What’s wrong? So many dolls.”
The ghost continued to struggle with Old Bai, but upon hearing this, he turned to the living, his mouth wide open, and blood started to flow from his eyes.
Shi Xuan, on the verge of a breakdown, pulled him urgently, “Stop asking, let’s go!”
Lan He asked, “Don’t you want your dolls?”
Shi Xuan responded, “Do I dare to take them?!”
Old Bai had already subdued the ghost. The ghost looked at Lan He with resentment, wondering how someone could be so bold. Despite the commotion, Old Bai quickly tied up the ghost and smugly declared, “You really have the guts, trying to play tricks on Master Bai with your life-and-death record. Off to the underworld you go!”
Lan He patted Shi Xuan on the shoulder, “What are you talking about? Open your eyes and see.”
“Isn’t that…” Shi Xuan opened her eyes anxiously, only to find about a dozen panda dolls lying on the ground. She wasn’t sure if the one that had hit the glass was among them. Speaking of the glass… it now appeared intact. She was stunned, feeling even more terrified.
Before she could react, Lan He had already walked over, picked up all the dolls, and hugged them, “You’re amazing, catching so many and not wanting them. Let’s go.”
Shi Xuan: “…”
What on earth had just happened?
Lan He’s calm demeanor affected Shi Xuan again. She moved her lips. Although she was certain her previous experience wasn’t a hallucination, she decided not to mention it for now. Perhaps sticking close to the fearless Lan He would keep her safe.
As Shi Xuan and Lan He walked back, the surroundings were deserted. Shi Xuan was still quite scared. She was originally holding onto Lan He’s sleeve, but slowly, slowly, she moved her hand forward, intending to hold his hand.
Old Bai, holding onto a ghost, floated beside them, standing on either side of Lan He. Wanting to talk to Lan He but not wanting Yao Shengming to know Lan He’s identity, he deliberately stuck out his tongue, the paper sticking to it with some saliva. With a “slap!” he covered the ghost’s eyes, ears, and mouth.
Lan He was disgusted, “Ugh…”
Shi Xuan froze, “?”
Like a startled bird, she retracted her hand, crying, “I’m sorry…”
Lan He: “…”
Lan He was also feeling nauseous. Otherwise, he would have usually been able to endure it. He was even more embarrassed than Shi Xuan, “No… it’s fine, it’s fine!”
Shi Xuan grabbed his sleeve again, “No need to explain, I’m really sorry! Brother, I’m just scared, nothing else, really… Can I just hold on here?”
Lan He: “…”
He didn’t know what to say anymore, so he simply kept his mouth shut.
It was too quiet here, and Shi Xuan couldn’t help but keep talking, naturally changing the subject: “I wonder how Yi Ping is doing. I heard that wild hedgehogs can’t be kept in captivity, or they’ll easily die.”
Old Bai, proud and triumphant, said, “See? This time, I’ve got it tied up tight. It definitely can’t escape.”
Lan He: “Hmm?”
Shi Xuan: “Yes, that’s what I found out. But if Yi Ping is too badly injured, releasing it back might be even more dangerous.”
Old Bai: “Of course! Absolutely!”
Lan He: “Oh—”
Shi Xuan: “But I also heard that white spirits can’t be kept at home…”
Old Bai: “Like that trick I just used to hook its head, Yan San begged me for a long time, but I wouldn’t teach him. It’s my unique skill.”
Lan He: “Never heard of it!”
He managed to handle both conversations simultaneously, bantering all the way until they saw the busy film crew in the distance.
“We’re out!” Shi Xuan was on the verge of tears, never having found the sight of people working overtime so endearing.
“Yeah, do you want the dolls?” Lan He extended his hand.
“No!” Shi Xuan nearly screamed. She felt she would forever have a phobia of claw machines, “You shouldn’t take them either. Just now… that…”
Since it was still nighttime, Shi Xuan was wary of directly mentioning her eerie encounter.
“Why not? If you don’t want them, I’ll take them,” Lan He said nonchalantly. “I’ll use them as cushions for Yi Ping. They’re pretty soft. You said before that Yi Ping was mysterious. Fight poison with poison and see which one is worse.”
Shi Xuan: “Hmm? That might actually work…”
Lan He piled the dolls onto a bench. Old Bai hadn’t left immediately; he floated nearby, curiously watching them work. “Why can you sit here?”
Lan He’s scenes for the night were mostly done; he was just waiting to see if there were any additional shots needed. The director hadn’t confirmed yet, but when Old Bai asked, Lan He covered his mouth and said after a pause, “Because I’m just a minor supporting role, not as busy as the lead.”
Old Bai immediately said, “Then you might as well work as a full-time ghost. With your abilities, you’d surely advance quickly.”
Lan He was unmoved, “You should get back and report. It’s been chaotic lately. Be careful not to get ambushed on the way.”
Old Bai grumbled, “I need to catch my breath. It’s been exhausting.”
At that moment, a butterfly drifted by. When it got closer, Lan He realized it wasn’t a butterfly but paper ash.
Old Bai caught it and rubbed it between his fingers, turning the ash into a white paper strip. After reading it, his deadpan face turned pale. “This is bad. Yan San is in trouble.”
“What’s happened to Brother Yan San?”
Old Bai urgently said, “He just said ‘Help, ghosts!’ and is at Juehui Temple. I don’t know what danger he’s in. I need to go find him. Since you’re free, can you come along?”
Having accepted the money, Old Bai was true to his word. Now that he was asking for help, it was understandable. Yan San was so desperate that he couldn’t even speak coherently. Lan He only hesitated for a moment before saying, “You go first. I’ll find a place to die for a bit and then join you.”
Old Bai: “………………Okay!”
…
Lan He went to find Wang Mao and confirmed that he wasn’t needed for any scenes. He said he wasn’t feeling well and needed to rest, and Wang Mao quickly agreed.
Initially planning to rest in the crew’s car, Lan He reconsidered, not wanting to scare the crew. Instead, he found an empty storage room in the amusement park, sat down, and left his body, heading toward Juehui Temple.
From a distance, Lan He saw a gathering of ghosts, with two red lanterns floating above.
As he got closer, he saw Yan San, with tears in his long, narrow eyes, looking dejected and sitting on the ground without his hat. Old Bai was questioning the ghosts… and unexpectedly, Song Futan was there too. He stood with a lame donkey, his black clothes billowing in the wind, and a golden belt holding his robe down, with the red temple wall behind him, creating a rather picturesque scene.
Lan He was momentarily distracted, “What happened? Why is Xiao Song here too?”
“You’ve arrived,” Yan San said tearfully, “Today, I’m grateful for Xiao Song’s help.”
Lan He found it strange, wondering how the words “enthusiastic” and “Xiao Song” could be connected. Song Futan hated ghosts more than he did.
Song Futan said, “I didn’t…”
Yan San interrupted, “I was here to guide souls, and someone took advantage of my busy moment to attack and rob me. I fled… and saw your folded donkey. I recognized the method immediately and called for help while trying to ride the donkey to escape. But it turned out the donkey was lame. Luckily, this young man leading the donkey helped me. But my official hat was still stolen, and now we’re investigating.”
Song Futan clarified, “Not exactly…”
Yan San exclaimed, “I’m grateful!”
“…” Song Futan turned to Lan He, explaining briefly, “I was on my way back to my body, and he took my donkey. So, I came to get it back.”
“Pretty much,” Yan San said, “That person was afraid of his Buddha light and fled. Thanks to him, he’s very helpful, no doubt about it. Now he’s staying to help recall the clues.”
Song Futan: “…”
He stayed because he saw Lan He’s partner appear and thought Lan He might show up too.
Lan He held back his laughter and said, “Thanks a lot. This is my colleague. You probably saw him from a distance once.”
Seeing Lan He smile, Song Futan felt less awkward and quickly accepted, “Hmm, no problem.”
“So even ghost catchers are being robbed now. What’s the situation? Any leads?” Lan He asked, “And about the hat…”
Since Song Futan was there, he didn’t finish the sentence.
Old Bai, frustrated, said, “No, no one saw clearly. We don’t even know if the culprit is human or ghost. If a living person wears an underworld official’s hat, they can hide their form, becoming half-ghost. In the past, there have been cases of people mistakenly taking the hat and using it for their benefit. Ordinary Taoists can’t break the spell.”
Lan He, working part-time as an underworld messenger, didn’t know the official hat had such an effect, but it made sense. He thought for a moment and said, “Let me take a sniff and see if I can find any clues.”
Lan He burned the nail of Hu 79, immediately gaining the fox spirit’s keen sense of smell. Naturally, his hand turned into a furry paw.
Song Futan stared in astonishment.
Old Bai also made a surprised sound, “This doesn’t look like First Lady Hu’s!”
Lan He, embarrassed, raised his right hand for a moment, “It’s from 79th Lady Hu.”
Old Bai muttered, “Where did you meet a 79…?”
There were many disciples of the Hu clan, and he didn’t know all of them.
Since Song Futan had been in contact with the hat thief, Lan He first sniffed the donkey’s back, then followed the scent to Song Futan’s long fingers. “Did it touch here?”
Song Futan felt the cool breath near his hand, his fingers involuntarily curling as the muzzle lightly brushed against his slightly upturned nose. He said softly, “It was the back.”
The thief had touched the tassels hanging from his back, which burned it, causing it to flee.
“Oh.” Lan He circled to his back, lowered his head, and sniffed again, some strands of hair brushing against Song Futan’s nape. Lan He then widened his eyes a bit, “This smells like… a weasel.”
Speaking of weasels, Lan He remembered Hu 79 and couldn’t help but say, “What’s going on with the Huang Clan? 79th Lady Hu was also robbed by a weasel a few days ago.”
“Weasel?” Yan San hadn’t reacted much, but Old Bai’s expression turned serious, “Another weasel?!”
“What’s going on? What do you mean ‘another’?”
Old Bai angrily said, “You don’t know. Recently, First Lady Hu has received reports of several cases where offerings and supplies were robbed and spirit beings were injured. The clues all pointed to the Huang Clan. At first, she was too busy to deal with it, but it has escalated. Now, even underworld messengers are being attacked. The Huang Clan is trying to take advantage of the chaos to make a big profit! They must have a death wish!”
Hu 79 was too embarrassed to report it, not knowing she wasn’t the only victim. Apparently, non-human and non-ghost beings were also being harassed by weasels.
Yan San said, “If this involves the Four Great Clans, I have a direction to investigate. It would be best to cooperate with First Lady Hu.”
And since it seemed this weasel was ruthless enough to rob its own kind, they didn’t have to worry about the one on Miao Gan Mountain being protected.
“We should inform her. Let’s light a midnight incense and invite First Lady Hu over for a discussion,” Old Bai said reluctantly, taking out his treasured Lan He-brand incense to burn and summon First Lady Hu.
First Lady Hu hadn’t arrived yet. Lan He took the opportunity to raise his paw and ask Song Futan, “Do you have any discomfort? Let me massage it for you. This is from the fox spirit and can heal.”
Having burned the nail, it seemed wasteful to just use it for sniffing.
Song Futan saw him raising the furry paw and began to suspect he was dreaming. But how could he dream of this? Normally, he’d just want to spray insect repellent on such fur, but seeing it on Lan He…
Smoke drifted towards Miao Gan Mountain.
At this moment, the arrival of First Lady Hu confirmed to Song Futan that it wasn’t a dream.
But before he could say anything, Lan He had already put his hand behind his back, hiding the paw.
First Lady Hu arrived, stepping through the lingering smoke.
“Well, isn’t it lively here,” First Lady Hu said with a smile, covering her mouth. However, Lan He could see the weariness in her eyes, suggesting she had been very busy lately. “Lord Lan is here too…”
As she spoke, she suddenly paused, stopping in front of Lan He, and licked her lips. “Is that the smell of a hedgehog?”
“Greetings, First Lady. I saved a Bai Immortal,” Lan He greeted, quickly changing the subject. “I wanted to ask you, how do you judge if a Bai Immortal is kind-hearted and worth supporting…”
“Wait,” First Lady Hu’s expression turned serious as she sniffed again. Her eyes widened in anger, and she roared with a fox-like face, “No, you have others too. Tell me which little fox spirit it is!!”
Lan He: “…”
Although… Should I say, ‘let me explain’ at this moment??
Author’s Note:
Hu 79, in danger!
First Lady: Younger sisters are fine, elder sisters are even better!
Song Futan: Hello???
.
So many people asked, I have to humbly explain the Yi Ping reference! In “Romance in the Rain,” when Yi Ping jumps off a bridge, she says, “Where are my spikes? I can’t find my spikes.” She was a hedgehog who pulled out her spikes for love… After explaining, I suddenly feel it’s not funny at all, sobbing, shedding tears.
Thanks for the reference translator XD
Lmao run Lan He!!