The City God felt a sense of exasperation, like iron that couldn’t be forged into steel. “The Eastern Emperor sent you to the mortal realm for this? To immerse yourself in love and passion?”
Lan He, while fighting, retorted, “Are you crazy? Your sleeping quarters even have a statue of the City God’s wife, and I’m the one being judged?”
Although this City God was currently unmarried, his temple did indeed have sleeping quarters with a goddess statue, though the rightful mistress of the household had yet to appear. City Gods, Earth Lords—China’s deities were all rather worldly, capable of marrying and having children.
Song Futan silently nodded in agreement. That made sense.
Although he didn’t quite understand how he had become a monk, he grasped the general idea. Indeed, the more the gods interfered, the greater the deviation. This meant it was all part of destiny, which equated to this: he and Lan He were a perfect match, fated to be together.
Liu 13, hearing this, intensified his movements. His sharp fangs viciously pierced the back of the four-clawed dragon, tearing through its scales. With a mighty swing of his thick tail, he swept away a large group of ghostly attendants.
Though the City God’s temple had undergone renovations, it wasn’t particularly large. With three dragons and serpents crammed inside, the hall and courtyard were already crowded. Add the countless ghosts, and Liu 13’s frantic thrashing became a danger to everyone, including his own allies, who had to stay constantly on guard against his wildly swinging tail.
There was no need to guess why Liu 13 was going berserk.
—Who cares if you’re the City God? Did you ask for my approval before breaking up this CP?
Even the City God stepped back a little to avoid the dust falling from the beams above. Disdainfully, he said, “Lan He, you’re saying this on purpose, aren’t you? Trying to provoke Liu Clan’s fighting spirit.”
That snake was driven mad.
The four-clawed dragon was not a living creature and couldn’t be poisoned, but it howled miserably in pain, its eyes welling with tears. With a sorrowful cry, a light drizzle began to fall over the entire capital.
Surrounding the City God Temple were towering skyscrapers. Even at midnight, many were still brightly lit. This area was the financial district, home to banks, securities companies, and even many of China’s top financial decision-making and regulatory institutions. Overtime was the norm here.
A sudden light rain didn’t prompt these overworked office workers to glance out the window.
The same went for cinema audiences engrossed in their movies, as well as those at home either asleep or enjoying a late-night snack. No one would have guessed that this unforecasted rain wasn’t from passing clouds but from a fierce battle in another dimension at the city’s heart.
Lan He was also unaware of the rain outside. He untied his makeshift staff and struck horizontally with it. “You’re heartless! You assume everything others do has some ulterior motive? Can’t I just want to date in the mortal world?”
The City God, unimpressed with this reincarnated divine general who lacked professionalism, expressed mild disdain. “Why not date when you’re off duty instead of slacking off during work hours, turning your main job into a side hustle?” He turned to Old Bai. “It must be frustrating partnering with someone like this, isn’t it?”
Old Bai replied, “Ah, tell me about it. It’s downright hollowing—being with him, there’s nothing but money.”
Lan He: “…You jerk! That’s not what you said when you were taking my money!”
First Lady Hu chimed in angrily, “Shameless brat!”
Hu 79 was much more explosive, reminding Lan He of her fierce demeanor when they first met. “You filthy ghost, rotten-hearted! You’re the ghost child that the City God’s wife gave birth to! Born on Nostalgia Terrace, playing the pipa for alms! With that money, you buy rouge—utterly shameless!”
Even Bai Wu, who had been silently stabbing ghosts, couldn’t help but mutter, “Exactly.”
Such pettiness! Always calling him “father,” but now saying he’s only good for money. Was all that fatherly affection fake?
Hiding behind the City God, Old Bai’s face turned green. Even the City God froze slightly at Hu 79’s colorful words.
Unable to outargue Hu 79, Old Bai had no choice but to flatter his new patron, “With all the recent offerings, sir, your divine power must have surged! They’ll surely be captured soon.”
Although they were still resisting and shouting curses, how much longer could they last? The City God hadn’t even made his move yet, sending only minor troops to deal with them.
Lan He: “Bleh.”
Old Bai: “…”
…
Fortunately, Lan He was vigilant and had been carrying plenty of joy papers lately.
One hand held his staff, while the other folded paper single-handedly. Multitasking, he skillfully manipulated the soul-binding cord linking him to Song Futan, using it like a tripwire to entangle and knock down the ghost officials between them.
Song Futan also had paper talismans. One hand wielded a sword, the other worked the talismans. The ink-like words seemed to orbit around him, never dissipating.
Burning paper to create tools, breaking words to form talismans.
Who wouldn’t call this a match made in heaven? Song Futan thought.
The City God coldly observed for a moment, then clapped his hands three times. The gates of the City God’s prison opened, revealing a snarling monster and a lurking evil spirit. “Go.”
These ghosts, though menacing in appearance, were as obedient as dogs under the City God’s command, biting whoever they were ordered to. As Hu Si had once remarked, the most confounding were the gods themselves.
The ghosts and underworld messengers all attacked Lan He, dressed in his ghostbuster uniform. Evil spirits surrounded him, while behind him loomed the golden hall of the divine statue—a stark and ironic contrast.
Lan He forcefully tore off the ceremonial hat and white uniform, revealing his casual clothes to distinguish himself.
As the number of opponents grew, surrounding him almost entirely, Lan He suddenly thought of something. He scanned the temple hall carefully and finally found his target.
Throwing out the soul-binding rope, Lan He lassoed a weasel cowering in a corner and dragged it over.
Melonhead Immortal felt himself being lifted into the air. He let go of his paws covering his face, his expression one of utter terror as he landed before Lan He. “P-please spare me, lord! I have a family to feed!”
From the moment he regained his senses, he had burrowed into the corner, trying to minimize his presence, unwilling and unable to take sides. This was why First Lady Hu had once described him as a cowardly and scheming character.
“Cut the nonsense! Do you still have the *Eighty-Seven Immortals Scroll*? Didn’t you promise to gift it to me?” Lan He swung his staff to fend off a circle of ghosts and demanded loudly. He recalled this excellent artifact but wasn’t sure if Melonhead Immortal carried it with him.
Melonhead Immortal’s eyes darted around, and he shook his head vehemently, raising his voice. “I can’t give it to you, lord! How could I dare offend Master An? Please don’t make it hard for me!”
That meant he had it.
Lan He understood Melonhead’s meaning and didn’t argue further. Grabbing Melonhead by his hind legs, he shook him a few times. A series of clinking sounds followed as items tumbled out, including an ancient painting—a Qing dynasty reproduction of the *Eighty-Seven Immortals Scroll*. With a final toss, Lan He flung Melonhead back into the corner.
Earlier, Song Futan had piqued Lan He’s curiosity about this artifact, prompting him to investigate and learn about it.
The *Eighty-Seven Immortals Scroll* depicted Donghua Dijun, Fusang Emperor, and Nanjie Dijun as central figures, accompanied by ten divine generals, seven male celestial officials, and sixty-seven golden boys and jade maidens, totaling eighty-seven immortals. Even as a reproduction, the painting retained much of Wu Daozi’s original essence, perfectly capturing the divine demeanor.
Lan He picked up the scroll. Familiar with it by now, he wasted no time folding this artifact worth millions into a human shape and burning it. “By the divine light of gold, command a hundred spirits. Ward off all evil, as heaven and earth align!”
Flames consumed the paper, casting a faint golden glow in the ghost-filled temple.
For a moment, celestial music seemed to play, and ethereal, flowing-robed fairies appeared in mid-air, scattering flowers. Whenever an evil ghost approached, a fairy would spin around and smash a pipa onto the ghost’s head.
Golden-armored divine generals, wielding golden swords, stood with fierce brows and blazing eyes, cutting down enemies without mercy.
The three central deities hovered in mid-air, their semi-transparent forms twice the size of an average person, radiating an awe-inspiring presence. With a mere flick of a sleeve, they toppled half the evil spirits.
The ghost officials, seeing the divine forms, screamed and fled. Lesser ghosts stood no chance against such supreme deities.
This scroll was worth every penny, and Lan He felt the pressure lift.
Intent on escaping the City God Temple, he readied himself to send a message to the underworld.
“Break down the door!” Lan He commanded. The divine generals charged toward the main door, scattering any ghostly resistance in their path.
The celestial music remained serene, while the droning chant filled the hall, a stark contrast to the fierce battle unfolding.
Lan He leaped toward the door and saw the leading deities effortlessly split it open, revealing the night sky beyond. At some point, a torrential rain had begun to pour over the capital.
Success! Lan He felt a surge of joy and tugged on the chain, signaling Song Futan to follow him out.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Old Bai roared with feigned ferocity. Of course, he didn’t move a finger, still hiding behind the City God.
The City God flicked his fingers.
Lan He felt as though he were soaring through the air. In a blink, he beheld the entire Forbidden City from above, followed by the Eastern Emperor Temple, glimpses of playful spirits, Taiping Bridge traffic, the waters of Beihai, even the blooming flowers of Miaogan Mountain—all shifting kaleidoscopically before his eyes.
It seemed as though he had traversed the entire capital in an instant, taking in its vast expanse!
—But upon refocusing, his feet were still firmly on the ground, unchanged.
…
Were those visions just illusions?
Lan He staggered slightly, still disoriented.
The City God, hands clasped behind his back, spoke mockingly, “To protect the nation is my duty. I govern this entire city. Did you truly think you could leave by stepping out of that door? These paper gods may deceive others, but they can’t fool me. Let me make it clear: in this city, I make the rules.”
He could weaken the city’s five protective zones without breaking them, allow the Liu Clan to awaken at will, and keep the Taoists oblivious—or aware—at his discretion.
Lan He might catch a fleeting glimpse of the capital, but would ultimately remain trapped. Such was the City God’s home-field advantage.
The City God raised a hand. The paper deities emitted faint cries before shattering into countless ash-like fragments, fluttering down like butterflies.
One fragment landed on Lan He’s shoulder, yet it felt as heavy as a mountain, weighing on his heart.
Millions of yuan, seemingly burned for nothing.
As if intending to break Lan He completely, the City God raised his hand, seizing the soul-binding chain connecting Lan He and Song Futan.
Lan He immediately sensed danger and, along with Song Futan, tugged at the soul-binding chain to evade. However, the City God exerted a bit of force, and the chain, once so flexible and resilient, shattered into countless pieces in his hands.
Lan He’s pupils dilated in shock. “You!”
He moved slightly, and the remaining fragments of the chain fell to the ground, clinking with the sound of metal.
This chain had been their “red thread,” a celebrated symbol of their bond. Song Futan’s heart ached as his lips parted:
“No!!!”
Liu 13 let out a pained scream.
Song Futan’s words were abruptly cut off: “…”
Everyone watched as the massive black snake suddenly burst into motion. Previously locked in a stalemate against Chang Yueyuan in a two-on-one struggle, it now erupted with ferocity, nearly crushing the four-clawed dragon in its coils!
The storm outside the temple grew even fiercer.
This time, the financial district’s overworked professionals could no longer ignore it. The torrential rain battered the windows, lights flickered under unstable power, and thick clouds loomed ominously low. Some joked as they looked at the eerie night sky, “Which fellow cultivator is undergoing tribulation now?”
Liu 13, far more agitated than Lan He and Song Futan, pressed the four-clawed dragon to the ground and pummeled it relentlessly. “I’ll kill you all!!!”
The four-clawed dragon could no longer hold back its tears, which streamed down as it shrank into a slender form and slipped away from beneath Liu 13, retreating to the hem of the City God’s robe with a pitiful expression.
The City God sneered and tossed his official seal into the air. “Demonic snake.”
Punishing evil and promoting good was also the duty of a City God.
The official seal flew toward Liu 13, who was forced back into human form and knelt under its weight. Chang Yueyuan also staggered, attempting to support the seal above Liu 13’s head, but her knees buckled, shattering the temple floor beneath her.
“Unbelievable! The City God Seal is for subduing demons, yet you twist right and wrong!” First Lady Hu shouted in anger. She grabbed a handful of incense ash from who-knows-where, smeared it on her hands, and leaped to snatch the seal.
Though she worked at Miaogan Mountain, she wasn’t considered a true deity. Especially when it came to divine tools like the City God Seal. Despite trying to pass herself off with the incense ash, the seal’s power burned her hand, causing her to yelp and recoil. Her front paw’s fur was scorched, but she stubbornly lunged again, embodying the unyielding spirit of the Hu Clan.
Lan He, meanwhile, was still staring mournfully at the broken chain. Though distressed, he sensed something amiss and grabbed Bai Wu nearby.
Bai Wu, understanding his intent, transformed into a large porcupine. With a quick throw, Lan He launched him onto Song Futan’s back. Hu 79 also rolled skillfully to Song Futan’s front, realizing he might be the next target.
Lan He reacted quickly, but the City God simply smirked. “This little monk was specifically chosen by the underworld as the Suffering Red Lotus, embodying the illness of all beings. Yet instead of healing, he writes stories. Very well, since things have come to this, there’s no reason to leave any survivors. In any case, you’ve been derelict in your duties. Everyone, today is your chance to devour the lotus and attain enlightenment.”
The evil spirits howled with excitement, though the ghostly officials hesitated. Song Futan’s soul was akin to Tang Monk’s flesh—a tempting prize. However, the officials, having served as disciplined soldiers for so long and still mindful of Lan He’s shadow, were reluctant to act recklessly.
Song Futan’s enchanted sword shimmered faintly. Though it had vanquished many evil spirits, the opposition remained undeterred. A fox growled menacingly in front of him, while the porcupine on his back bristled with electrified quills. Despite these defenses, the allure of the Suffering Red Lotus was almost irresistible.
Lan He, after lamenting the broken chain, quickly thought of another problem: Song Futan lacked any proper armor. In a three-hundred-sixty-degree assault, what if he got bitten somewhere?
His mind wandered briefly to the time. The movie had likely passed its halfway point by now…
Not only had he missed the premiere, but in hindsight, their current battle against divine forces made Song Futan’s script eerily prophetic!
Old Bai, meanwhile, continued to chatter. “Gods and mortals are fundamentally different. Now you’re just human, even with rewards from the underworld. The lord just offered you a truce, but you ran away. Regretting it now? The wise adapt to circumstances. Since we know each other, don’t worry. Bai Junjie here will handle your remains.”
Lan He clutched his chest to prevent himself from coughing up blood. However, a spark of inspiration struck his mind at that moment.
He seemed to have an idea, fixing his gaze on the City God while saying to the others, “Keep an eye on your mother—”
Hu 79 let out an excited fox yelp. “Chirp!”
Lan He kicked aside a ghostly official and strode toward the City God, his pace quickening until he lunged forward.
“Oh, aiming for the leader?” The City God flicked his robe casually, preparing to retaliate. But a wet, slimy tongue suddenly lashed out, wrapping multiple times around his neck before being pulled taut by Old Bai, who jumped onto the City God.
The City God froze momentarily. His expression wasn’t fear but more of helpless resignation. “What are you doing? Can’t you see the situation clearly? Didn’t you already resign yourself and call me father?”
“??” Old Bai, tightening the tongue around him, muttered indistinctly, “But I’m the most famous unfilial son in the underworld!”