The perspective is that of the usual poison enthusiast noble.
The timeline is somewhere after the main story has ended.
It is simply poison, poison, and poison.
“Ah, but really, Lord Shachi’s concocted poisons are marvelous…”
“Where on earth did the idea of adding this powdered illusion magic stone come from, I wonder…”
“This hallucination gently envelops us, almost like a spring breeze. The hallucination exists only as an accent, making it easy to drink and light in finish.”
“Just using a hallucinogenic agent alone wouldn’t result in such a light finish. By deliberately adding something non-toxic, it deviates from being a pure poison, prioritizing the overall finish. This is a form of art!”
Today, as always, we gathered in the mansion to savor the poisons left by Lord Shachi.
Lord Shachi’s poison collection is extensive.
In addition to many ‘pure poisons’ such as raw poisons and raw poisonous ores, there are poisons that Lord Shachi himself concocted.
What we are savoring now is one of those. It seems to be something Lord Shachi concocted on a whim, but the finish is superb!
Enveloped in soft, light hallucinations, our bodies are being poisoned. It is a wonderfully light and gentle yet enchantingly seductive and powerfully potent poison.
“It is thanks to Lord Shachi that we can enjoy such poisons… but we cannot expect any new ones anymore…”
…Yet, even as we savor these poisons, we can only lament.
Yes. Our most promising star, Lord Shachi, is no longer with us.
In the midst of a certain melancholy, we were reminiscing about Lord Shachi and discussing poisons.
…Then.
“Oh my, it seems it’s already started. Am I quite late?”
A young man arrived.
…He is a new member who recently joined this poison enthusiasts’ club. And… he is a bit of a trouble.
The moment he entered, the air in the room grew tense. Even those of us well-versed in the presence of poisons could feel this change in the atmosphere.
However, the young man seemed oblivious as he approached our table.
“Are you tasting poisons?”
“Yes. We opened a bottle of Lord Shachi’s concoction. Of course, it’s diluted, so it won’t kill you instantly, but I suggest you take only a small amount. Here, please.”
Some members showed displeasure, but as members of the poison enthusiasts’ club, they could not refuse. I handed him a small glass containing the poison.
He sniffed the glass rudely and then tasted a tiny bit, immediately grimacing.
“This is not pure poison.”
And then… his critique began.
“This is no good. It seems they mistakenly mixed poison with hallucinogens. The poison itself is not bad, but this hallucinogen. This is terrible!”
He said dramatically, putting the glass back on the table dismissively.
“I don’t understand the point of adding magic stone. They could have used a more effective hallucinogenic poison. If the purpose was to mask the poison, this is too sloppy. The person who concocted this needs to study more. Or they should have made it just a pure poison without any hallucinogenic effect.”
As his words continued, other members sighed quietly or openly showed their displeasure, but he seemed unaware.
“Well, the poison part is not bad. If it were just the poison, I could rate it decently. The special poison utilizing the properties of mochi mold was quite enjoyable. But the hallucinogenic part. This is terrible.”
He concluded proudly.
“That is my review.”
…Well.
He is that kind of person, so he has become a bit of a problem.
After that, we spent a meaningful time tasting and admiring the poisons each member had concocted, but the new member tended to disrupt the atmosphere a bit too much. Even in a poison enthusiasts’ club, too much venomous talk is problematic.
In the end, that day’s gathering turned out to be somewhat disappointing.
After the meeting disbanded, I decided to stay and talk with the other members for a bit.
The topic of conversation was… about him.
“Who exactly is he? He doesn’t seem to truly love poisons from the bottom of his heart…”
“I’ve heard rumors about him! Apparently, he is a notorious figure who has been wandering from one club to another!”
…Yes, I have also heard that story in passing.
It seems that ever since he entered high society, he has been moving from one club or enthusiasts’ society to another. The reason being… as we saw earlier, he unwittingly, or perhaps even thinking it’s good, spreads venomous words. Because of this tendency, he has been banned from every club.
The proper and elegant use of poison is to apply it quietly, only where and when necessary. It is not something to be spread indiscriminately, nor is it considered correct.
As someone of advanced age, I believe we should overlook the behavior of younger people to some extent… However, seeing how Lord Shachi, who appeared to be of the same age or younger than him, behaved with such elegance and wisdom, I can’t help but compare.
“He came to our poison enthusiasts’ society seeking his next place. It seems he has no other place to go, so perhaps we should tolerate him…”
“Such mercy is unnecessary. He should be discerning enough by now, shouldn’t he?”
“He seems to have some knowledge of poisons, but it’s shallow. It doesn’t seem like he truly loves poisons… And above all, his behavior that desecrates Lord Shachi! It’s utterly unforgivable! Should we keep such a person in our poison enthusiasts’ society!?”
…This is my dilemma.
His behavior is overly youthful, not very conscientious, and completely disregards the philosophy of the enthusiasts’ society. All members feel this way.
And that person, who we can call our god, Lord Shachi, he even dares to desecrate.
We do not wish to rank or judge things, nor do we want to be aggressive or nitpicky… We just love the beloved existence of poisons, enjoying it quietly… like a poisonous plant blooming silently by the roadside.
However… the flower of the poisonous plant blooming silently has poison. It is a modest poison to protect oneself.
“I have a suggestion.”
So, I spoke to the trusted members.
“We are the poison enthusiasts’ society. We long for poisons, love them, and cherish them. Therefore… isn’t it time to practice the words Lord Shachi once said? ‘Fight poison with poison.'”
The members nodded to each other… and we confirmed.
“Let’s let him understand what the ‘poison enthusiasts’ society’ is. And if he finds it unsuitable, he should voluntarily withdraw.”
“Let’s do that. Only those who truly love poisons should be here.”
“Let’s make this meeting more sensitive to the subtlety of poisons than usual!”
And so, the next week, we decided to hold another meeting.
…However, this time the theme of the meeting was ‘The Ultimate Poison.’
We informed him beforehand to ‘bring the ultimate poison to the next gathering,’ and he seemed quite perplexed. He had never presented his own poison before, only critiqued others’.
But since it was decided, he complied. He brought what seemed to be his self-made poison.
“Now, let’s enjoy the poison.”
As I took the lead, the poison tasting began elegantly.
He promptly presented his poison.
“This is the ultimate poison!”
The liquid in the bottle he brought was dark and had a somewhat iridescent sheen, like that of a jewel beetle.
Hmm, even just by its appearance, I can deduce some of the ingredients.
“Do you know what this is?”
He smiled as if testing us, but as a poison enthusiast, I had a good idea of what it was.
“You aimed for a poison that would cause many deaths, didn’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
Hmm… well, as a form of poison, this is also one approach. This youthful, exuberant poison isn’t necessarily unlikable.
This direction is valid too, I suppose. …However, judging by the reaction when I dropped a single leaf of a prepared cut flower into it, it seems he made some mistakes in the concoction. But considering he’s a beginner, it adds a touch of refreshingness to the otherwise overly potent poison.
“Hmm, I see. Then next.”
“Let me go next.”
“Huh?”
He looked as if to say, “Is that the end of the reactions to the poison?” but… he would surely understand once he saw the ‘ultimate poison’ we would present next.
“Here it is.”
One of the members presented a bottle containing… a rather ordinary-looking medicine to be called poison.
“Is this… a medicine to enhance speed?”
“Yes. It makes both the body and mind move faster.”
When he said both the body and mind… I see. That’s what he meant. This brought a smile to my face.
“What’s so ultimate about this? It’s rather mediocre, isn’t it?”
He shrugged, but the member who brought the medicine smiled and responded.
“Oh. Haven’t you heard? ‘Idleness is a tasteless, odorless deadly poison.'”
The point is, if both body and mind move faster, time feels longer. Idleness feels longer. That in itself is a poison, a joke, you see.
“Idleness is the ultimate poison! It’s everywhere, affects everyone, and everyone has surely experienced it. Moreover, there’s nothing one can do about it! This tasteless, odorless deadly poison creeps up unnoticed or is sought out when it’s hiding. Yes, the more you try to escape, the more it chases you. If you haven’t seen it for a while, you seek it out. The effect is indeed the poison of poisons. It gradually eats away at you, filling you with anxiety and impatience. Once it has completely taken over, there’s no escape! And yet, when it has fully invaded, you’re not even aware of it! It’s a truly wonderful poison! And…”
His speech continued, and we listened with delight.
His love for ‘idleness’ was truly impressive.
“I thought this was a gathering to bring the ‘ultimate poison’? Is this the kind of farce we gather for under the name of a poison enthusiasts’ club?”
When his talk ended, the problem member said that. His words were venomous, but let’s set that aside for now.
“Well, well. Then I’ll go next!”
Next, another member stood up.
“Here it is.”
What was placed on the table… was fried potatoes.
“Oh, this taste. Are they fried in pork and beef fat?”
“Exactly! By frying in animal fat, it gives a crispy texture and rich flavor! Also, notice how the potatoes are cut! By leaving the skin on and cutting them into wedges, it brings out the maximum aroma and texture of the potatoes! Although there is no particular insistence on the variety of potatoes, the simple yet perfected process of cutting the potatoes, frying them in oil, and sprinkling salt on the freshly fried ones emphasizes the harmony of the strong salty taste, the flavor of the potatoes, and the richness of the oil! This irresistible taste! The potential for chronic diseases triggered by consuming a large amount of salt and oil! This is one of the artworks brought by the great god of poisons!”
His passion and love for fried potatoes were remarkable.
“Incidentally, I’ve also prepared dips! Courtesy of Lord Shachi’s friend, Lord Maito, we have ‘honey mustard’, ‘barbecue sauce’, and ‘ketchup’. Each is flavored with a different poison, so please enjoy!”
“This is delicious!”
“Hmm! The poison in this ‘honey mustard’ must be from a venomous bee! You have brought quite an interesting item! The delicate sense in the mix is evident!”
“Oh… the deep flavor of this ‘ketchup’… It really complements the potatoes.”
We continued eating the fried potatoes. This addictive quality. Considering the obesity and related diseases that could arise, this too is a substantial poison.
And so, our poison presentations continued. The problem member looked displeased, as if to say ‘This is not what I expected,’ but hopefully, he would decide to leave on his own.
Finally, it was my turn.
“Here you go.”
In the glass placed before everyone was a transparent liquid. Colorless, odorless, tasteless… it was…
“Water.”
Yes, water.
“Oh, water, is it? I see, indeed.”
“This is the ultimate poison!”
Water is an essential substance for us. We cannot live without drinking water.
But, if you drink too much water, you die.
Yes. Everything in this world… is poison.
Substances that won’t kill unless consumed in large quantities and those that can kill even in small amounts come in many varieties… In a sense, we were born into this world full of poisons and live while continuously ingesting poisons.
“I don’t accept this!”
Now, the problematic member raised his voice.
“I came expecting the ultimate poison, and this is what I get. Aren’t you all just lacking in study? Well, it was amusing as a farce to make up for your lack of knowledge.”
“Even if you say that, this is the philosophy of the Poison Enthusiasts’ Society. To love, cherish, and enjoy all poisons. That’s all there is to it. Understanding various perspectives allows us to love a variety of poisons more deeply.”
“Indeed! Especially the last ‘water’! It made me realize once again that everything in this world is poison and that this entire world is something to be loved!”
“That was wonderful, indeed.”
As we answered, the problematic member began to shake his shoulders as if feeling mocked.
It would be fine if he got angry and left.
…Just then.
“You’re all mocking me! Die!”
He opened the bottle of poison he brought and… forced the bottle’s mouth into mine.
A thick sensation spread in my mouth.
Hmm, I see. So this is the ‘ultimate poison’ he spoke of.
It’s a rather rare taste. What kind of poison is this? It has a slight flavor reminiscent of tea. I’d like to ask more about this.
And perhaps there’s some transformation potion element. It has a strong blood scent. There might also be a curse involved. It seems this curse and the mentioned poison are canceling each other out, creating a unique experience in the process.
“Come on! Drink it! Drink it and die! Everyone who mocks me, die!”
He said, forcing my head up to make sure I couldn’t escape, gripping me tightly.
…Yes. This is a poison with a playful spirit. There are some miscalculations, but they also add a touch of youthful charm.
After confirming that, I…
“Humph!”
I sprayed the poison that had been poured into my mouth through my nose.
“Oh! A splendid reflux!”
“You can’t be a poison enthusiast without being able to do this.”
This is a technique often used during poison tastings. Taking it in through the mouth and then expelling it through the nose without letting it reach the stomach. Mastering this technique allows one to taste a wider variety of poisons.
…However.
“Ah, ah, ahhh…”
Because I sprayed the poison from my nose while looking up, the problematic member got a full blast of it.
“Oh dear… Will he be alright?”
“Do you need water?”
I rinsed my mouth with water and then cleaned my nose by expelling water through it, but he seemed to be in trouble from the moment the poison hit him.
“Could it be that his experience with poisons is shallow and he has little resistance to them?”
This might be bad. Since he brought the poison himself, I assumed he had an antidote, but he showed no signs of drinking any antidote, only falling into a semi-crazed state. Could it be he didn’t prepare at all?
…And so, the problematic member, having been hit by the poison, collapsed, writhing… and began to transform.
What emerged was a grotesquely bloated creature, like a giant caterpillar.
Its entire body had flaps like the underside of a mushroom cap… or the pages of a half-opened book, and between the flaps ran dark, letter-like patterns.
…The hideous monster squirmed and let out a groan that sounded like “purgyeee.” This was… poison to the eyes and ears.
“Dealing with poisonous insects is my specialty, but… my word, what should we do with this?”
“Indeed, this is why those with shallow knowledge are such trouble… good grief.”
“Perhaps he intended to create a dragon transformation potion! But failed miserably!”
It seems that his ideal form of poison is quite different from what he experienced. Nonetheless, it was an intriguing outcome.
…Now then.
“Well, things have taken an unexpected turn.”
“Shall we show him the true nature of our Poison Enthusiasts’ Society?”
“‘Fight poison with poison!'”
We must help him, as he mistakenly engaged with poison in the wrong manner.
After all, we too are poison.
“Quickly, return to your senses! Ultimate poison! Take this!”
“Here! Try eating the dip sauce for the potatoes!”
“Our poison prowess is the best in the world!”
We unleashed our poisons upon him, who had turned into a caterpillar, with full force.
Initially, the caterpillar tried to resist, but it could not withstand our sheer numbers and the violent onslaught of poisons. Soon enough, it ceased moving entirely.
Two hours later.
“Huh!?”
The problematic member regained consciousness.
By that time, he had returned to his human form.
“I… what happened to me…”
“Oh, are you feeling disoriented? You transformed due to the poison you brought, rampaged, and then we detoxified you, so you’ve been resting here.”
“Detoxified!?”
He sprang up, looking incredulous.
“That’s impossible! That was my ultimate poison! It can’t be detoxified!”
“‘Fight poison with poison.'”
However, the detoxification was indeed complete.
Yes, by administering a large, precisely calculated amount of different poisons, we altered the components of the poison, making detoxification possible.
“Impossible…”
“Poison and detoxification are two sides of the same coin. Those who love poison must also be knowledgeable about detoxification. If you intend to remain in this club, it would be wise to start by studying detoxification rather than poison.”
“Are you mocking me again?”
He raised his hand to strike, but I caught and stopped him. Without at least this level of physical ability, one cannot be a poison enthusiast.
“What are you…”
“It’s unfortunate, but if you continue like this, you’ll face the same outcome wherever you go. Spreading poison indiscriminately is not the mark of a true poison enthusiast or a reasonable person. Although we live in a world where everything can be a poison, we must strive to remain non-toxic in our interactions with others.”
With those words, he seemed to reflect on his actions. His eyes turned away awkwardly, and the strength left his raised arm.
…Well, that should be enough.
“Now, let’s end this tiresome talk. A life spent only spewing venom is too empty. After all, the world is so vividly colorful!”
We invited the problematic member back to the table.
“By the way, it seems I ruined your collection. That’s unfortunate… but to make up for it, I’ll give you something rare!”
“Come now! There’s no need for that sour look! I brought some poison-laced cakes as well, thinking just potatoes might be a bit lonely. How about having some?”
The problematic member, still in a daze, sat down and continued to participate in the gathering of the Poison Enthusiasts’ Society, bewildered but compliant.
A month later.
There was no word from the problematic member.
Perhaps he decided that the Poison Enthusiasts’ Society didn’t suit him and quit.
Thinking that it might be for the best for both parties, I was preparing for today’s gathering. …Then.
“Hello, hello! Let’s chat today as well!”
The usual members arrived, and… there was another face.
“I found him outside and brought him along!”
It was the problematic member.
Looking down awkwardly… but with a bottle of poison, he brought in his hand!
“Welcome! We have poison-laced tea ready today as well! Let’s enjoy our time together!”
Without saying much, we invited him to the table.
He replied with a happy “Yes,” and took his place at the table.
Ah… it seems we have indeed ‘tamed’ the poison.
A/N: Even microwaved potatoes fried in oil can resemble French fries. Easy to make and, well, they are quite the poison.