This story takes place after the final chapter of the main story. It might be considered an epilogue.
This is the latest story in the timeline, including both the main story and its side stories. There will probably not be any stories set after this one. Probably.
It’s mostly just pointless chatter. There are over 9,000 words of pointless chatter. It doesn’t get any more pointless than this.
And, it’s about marriage.
The viewpoint is from Maito.
“It was unexpected, you know, marriage. I never had that impression at all.”
Hariu said in surprise, then sighed.
“Hmm, really? I think it’s appropriate.”
“Well, it was sudden, but it’s not a strange story.”
Toriumi gave a knowing smile. President’s usual smile had subsided, replaced by an entirely ordinary smile. It was actually scarier that way.
“Isn’t it good? It would be bad if he kept drifting around forever.”
“Considering the age, marriage is rather natural.”
Hagasaki-kun was as curt as ever. Suzumoto was as calm as always.
“Well, it’s a happy thing, so… it’s not a bad thing, right?”
“Yeah. I’m kind of happy about it.”
“But somehow, I feel betrayed or like someone cut in line…”
Kadomi-kun seemed somewhat restless, Katori looked happy, and Kariya… well, I kind of understood his feelings.
“But to think that Sensei would get married.”
And I was probably grinning like crazy.
Three years had passed since we graduated from high school.
No more underclassmen who knew us were left in school, and some teachers had retired or transferred.
In the midst of this, our advisor from the chemistry club, who had watched over us during our high school years, was still at the school, continuing as the chemistry club advisor.
Sensei who watched over us during our three high school years.
Sensei who scolded us saying, “You guys are exam students, so stop playing cards and study!”
Sensei who said, “Even moldy rice cakes can be eaten if you scrape off the mold,” while scraping off the mold and roasting the rice cakes on the stove.
Sensei who was so tall that talking to him while standing made our necks hurt.
Sensei who was famous for eating so much that even the bottomless-pit Katori called it “scary.”
Sensei who had grown bigger horizontally in recent years because of his eating habits.
Sensei who disappeared when we wanted him to open the chemical cabinet, making us search for him.
Sensei who disappeared as soon as we had a question, making it hard to find him.
Sensei who disappeared often, making us search the whole school.
Sensei who was known for disappearing and troubling the club members.
He was a teacher, and he was like a teacher, yet he had a strange closeness to him, was prone to laughing, called funny things funny, and laughed heartily at our antics.
Sensei who took great care of us for three years.
Such a teacher was now getting married.
“For me, it was more surprising to get contacted by a junior whose name I didn’t even know.”
“Yeah. I was honestly so surprised I thought I might go bald.”
The trigger was an email from a junior.
…The reason why a junior who didn’t know our names or voices could contact us was because of the experiment notes we left behind when we graduated.
No juniors joined the year below us (some joined but quit soon after), so the juniors we directly interacted with were two years below us.
However, at that time, we were busy third-year high school students. We didn’t have much time to pass down enough knowledge to the cute first-year juniors, and we had to graduate.
…That’s when we came up with the idea of preserving an “experiment notebook.”
It contained our cultural festival exhibits, magic show scripts, science experiment class know-how, how to keep the club budget records…
…as well as a map showing where things were in the lab as far as we knew, how to handle quirky instruments, how to open the seemingly unopenable lab corridor window, how to unlock the chemical cabinet, the tendencies of the feared classical literature teacher’s test questions, how many times a certain English teacher said “right?” in one hour, and the top three longest principal’s speeches… (By the way, the longest record was 40 minutes and 24 seconds at our graduation ceremony).
…And, my email address as the then treasurer.
We wrote these useful and completely useless things in the notebook and put it in a drawer that once held candies with a mom’s taste.
In fact, we got a few contacts from juniors two years below us, so it probably came in handy. Probably.
…But.
I never thought I would get an email from a junior five years below us, whose name and voice I didn’t even know.
The first email was simply a request for permission to revive and perform the chemistry magic show script we had written.
Apparently, the script written by Toriumi remained on the clubroom computer, and a junior who saw it wanted to try it.
…So, receiving such a nervous email asking for permission to perform the script again, I ended up asking about it while giving the okay for the script’s re-performance.
I asked, “How is the current club doing?”
…It turned out that the stain on the ceiling from when President exploded manganese dioxide and hydrogen peroxide was still there, the detergent we bought in bulk to extract fluorescent substances was still there, and mysterious chemicals still remained uncleaned.
Moreover, the recipes for gun cotton that our generation and the previous generation created, the chemistry magic show performances, and so on were still there, being reused and occasionally brought out, or excavated like little fossils and marveled at.
Knowing that things we did were still there, being brought out from time to time, forming some kind of foundation, or being discovered as amusing relics… it was, to say the least, gratifying.
And it was through asking about the “current state of the club” that I learned that our advisor had gotten married.
I immediately sent a message to everyone.
“Sensei married and reverse-proposed.”
Screams of astonishment ensued. Instead of congratulations, reactions like “Seriously!?” and “Explosion” came out first, making me feel the truth of the saying “birds of a feather flock together.” It was quite sad.
…And, once the shock and confusion had somewhat subsided.
Naturally, we started thinking.
How could we say to Sensei, “May you forever explode, disintegrate, and go bald!” Of course, we would think about it!
So, we decided to meet Sensei after a long time and invite him to dinner, planning to make some unreasonable accusations like, “How dare you escape the fate of being a wizard alone!”
The plan proceeded below the surface!
Kariya, who drew the short straw and became the organizer, contacted Sensei and secured his schedule!
Unaware of our plans, Sensei readily agreed to the invitation from his former students!
We managed to clear our schedules for the evening!
And!
…Our plan proceeded below the surface!
“I made a reservation at the restaurant.”
“Well done.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Absolutely.”
Such exchanges took place.
“I bought the present.”
“Well done.”
“What did you buy?”
“Yokan.”
“Isn’t that heavy?”
“It’s ridiculously heavy. Seriously. Anko (red bean paste) is incredibly heavy.”
“Miss Batako is the one who throws a massive head packed with that stuff almost a hundred meters.”
“Scary.”
Such were our exchanges.
“I got it. Here’s the receipt.”
“Wow… how much did you spend on that bouquet?”
“1800 yen. As planned. But whether it was because of the time or because I explained it was for a wedding present for a mentor, they gave us a lot more than expected.”
“Wow… So, it was right to send Suzumoto to buy it, wasn’t it?”
“Why?”
“Don’t you get annoyed seeing Suzumoto holding a bouquet? Don’t you?”
“Why?”
“Maito-san, how much do you think this would cost? I’m not familiar with flowers.”
“There are roses in it, so maybe around 3000 yen… or more…? Sorry, I’m not good with prices unless it’s food…”
“Well, it’s fine. We got a good deal.”
This way, we obtained an unnecessarily extravagant bouquet.
“What should we write…?”
“Kariya, you write first. Kadomi-kun, think of what to write while Kariya is writing.”
“Wow, it’s really red, blue, and black.”
“Didn’t I tell you? If you only use a three-color ballpoint pen, it’ll look really plain. I told you to bring other colors!”
“I’m sure Sensei won’t mind! Probably! I believe that!”
“That’s not the point, is it?”
“Also, everyone’s handwriting is tiny.”
“Well, isn’t it fine? That means Kadomi-kun can write a lot more.”
“Oh, Kadomi-kun, I’m done writing. Can you write now?”
“I’m still thinking… the amount to fill this space…”
“Don’t bully Kadomi-kun.”
With such exchanges, we wrote our messages on the card.
And so, we were able to meet with Sensei as a group for the first time in a long while.
“Hey, long time no see. I’m glad to see everyone looks well.”
In the evening, as we waited in the restaurant, Sensei walked in leisurely (though it looked leisurely, his long legs made him walk incredibly fast).
“Long time no see.”
“Sensei, you look well too.”
“Hey, Sensei, you’ve gained weight!”
“Sensei, from now on your metabolism will decrease more and more, so if you don’t reduce the amount you eat, you won’t be able to keep up. I suppose you already feel that.”
“…We might be in trouble too…”
“Ah, Kadomi-kun still has a lot of muscle, so that’s fine, but I’m barely maintaining my weight with poor habits.”
“It’s enviable to maintain weight with poor habits. Hey, Suzumoto, do you want some of my fat?”
“No thanks.”
“My unhealthy lifestyle has gone so far that my BMI has dropped below 18.”
“Hmm, Katori, you should eat a bit more. Or should I share some of my fat with you?”
“If you can give it, I’d love to have it…”
“You guys are still the same.”
And right after meeting, we had such an exchange, making Sensei give a wry smile… but also a somewhat amused one.
After placing random orders, giving some casual updates about our lives, and killing time until our drinks arrived:
“Alright, organizer, say a few words.”
Prompted by Toriumi, Kariya straightened up into a formal sitting position.
“Um, then… once again, thank you for coming despite the bad weather today.”
“It’s sunny, though.”
Sensei’s quick retort was as sharp as ever. It was reassuring to see he hadn’t changed at all.
“Well… thank you all for gathering here. Especially Sensei, thank you very much.”
Sensei must be busy as a newlywed, so we were grateful that he took a whole day off for us.
With that sentiment, we all gave a small bow, and Sensei followed suit, bowing back. Really, he hadn’t changed at all…
“Now then, before we toast!”
Everyone started moving, adjusting their seating positions and pulling out items hidden under the table or in the pile of cushions.
“Sensei, congratulations on your marriage!”
Fufufufu, surely Sensei would be surprised by this ‘Surprise! Congratulations on your marriage’!
…Or so I thought.
“Ah, thank you very much. Wow, this bouquet is amazing.”
…His reaction was a bit different from what I expected.
“Oh, yokan. I’ll gratefully enjoy this with my wife. Oh, there’s a message board inside. What does it say…”
“Wait! Sensei! Don’t read it here!”
“It’s embarrassing! Stop! Stop!”
“Hey, Toriumi, ‘May you explode forever’? Seriously?”
“Stop! Don’t read it! Please read it at home! Read it at home, please!”
…His reaction was quite different from what I expected.
“Huh? Well, I figured you’d hear about it somewhere. I mean, wasn’t that the reason for gathering? There’s no other significant reason except my marriage. Although Kariya’s invitation did sound like ‘Let’s just have dinner♪’.”
And then came this explanation.
…Well, you see?
Yeah, well, we went through the trouble of contacting Sensei through an unexpected source, learned about his marriage, and then prepared a surprise under the radar, only for him to act like he already knew!
You can’t do that! You can’t do that! Having such sharp intuition is a double-edged sword, Sensei!
…Thus, with everyone feeling like we were carrying unexploded bombs, our dinner with Sensei began.
“You still eat a lot, don’t you?”
“Hmm? Well, it’s a waste if you don’t eat. Katori, have some more? Here, here.”
“Ah, okay. Then, I’ll have some.”
“Sensei, I think you should offer it to Hagasaki-kun more than to Katori!”
By the way, today’s meal was yakiniku. Why, you ask? Well, because…
Sensei eats a lot.
Sensei eats a lot, really a lot.
Because Sensei eats an incredible amount.
He really eats a lot.
Our club includes Katori-kun, who we call the “Black Hole Stomach,” but Sensei surpasses even him. Sensei’s stomach is like an other-dimensional space.
“Shall we order more?”
“Ah, yes. Please do.”
“You can still eat?”
“Yep, no problem.”
“Sensei, you’ve probably eaten about 1 kg of meat by yourself already…”
By the way, just watching is making me full.
Why did I choose to sit across from Sensei? That was a mistake.
“By the way, Sensei, it was quite sudden, wasn’t it?”
“Really? It was about six months, though.”
“I think that’s what people generally call ‘sudden.'”
As we progressed through the meal and everyone got a bit tipsy, we decided to ask the main guest about his big news.
Naturally, it piqued our interest that Sensei, who had never shown any signs of getting married, had suddenly tied the knot.
“Well, when you decide to do something, it’s best to act on it.”
That was the response we got.
“Wow, that’s so typical.”
“So, Sensei, you’re one of those people. I’m disappointed.”
“Wait, what? Hagasaki’s standards say that’s disappointing!?”
It just reaffirmed that Sensei is very much Sensei. His decisive actions and communication skills are impressive.
We could never pull that off.
“Yeah, if you find the right person, isn’t it best to get married right away?”
“No, it’s not good. What’s with that logic?”
And then there’s this.
“So, what was the deciding factor?”
“Uh, the feeling? Our wavelengths just matched perfectly.”
And then there’s this.
“…I don’t get it…”
Kadomi-kun’s murmur represented all of us.
Yeah, we don’t get it!
“So, do any of you have similar stories?”
After getting our fill of both food and fascinating but slightly intimidating stories, Sensei hit us with this question.
A heavy silence fell over everyone! And the most confused person was Sensei himself!
“…Seriously, out of nine of you, no one has a girlfriend!?”
And his look of genuine surprise, not even pretending, was priceless! A perfect, unbeatable, flawless Perfect Genocide!
“Just leave us alone.”
“Just because you got married…”
“It’s unnecessary.”
“Um, it’s like that saying, right? ‘There are as many women as there are stars, but you can’t reach the stars’?”
“We don’t have any encounters because we’re in science! It’s not my fault! Not my fault!”
“Huh? Wait a minute! Hey, Suzumoto! Maito! You two are humanities students! Suzumoto! You should be able to manage something! You can if you try, right?”
“I can’t hear you.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
As each of us either held our heads or covered our ears, Sensei wore a very complicated expression.
Honestly, it would have been easier if he’d just laughed out loud. Yeah.
“…Oh, maybe you guys have ‘boyfriends’ instead?”
The air froze. Someone’s trauma was struck, and we all gave half-hearted laughs.
“Please stop, Sensei. Don’t say things like that.”
“Sensei, they’re all perfectly normal, probably.”
“Besides, even if we were abnormal, we wouldn’t be able to get anyone. Come on.”
“That’s not the point…”
We all took the blow head-on and started squawking. Sensei didn’t just give a wry smile this time—he was laughing out loud! This laughter-prone demon! May you explode forever!
“Wait, so you don’t have any plans like that in the future either?”
“Nope!”
“Hariu, don’t answer immediately. If you give up, it’s over, right? Geez.”
While everyone looked distant, Sensei seemed interested in these kinds of stories. It’s that air of a winner, I suppose. What a guy. Unforgivable.
“At least you have a type you like, right? What about you, President? You said it was unnecessary, but you must have some preferences, right?”
Sensei likely thought, “He’s the least likely to be involved in such things,” and directed the question to President… but before President could respond, Suzumoto, sitting next to him, stopped him.
“…What is this?”
And Kadomi-kun, sitting next to Sensei, was ready to cover Sensei’s ears at any moment.
Perfect formation. This is the power of our bonds.
“Sensei, don’t bring up that topic with President when he’s had alcohol.”
I added an explanation for the puzzled Sensei.
“Why?”
“You’ll end up hearing a very scary story.”
Sensei looked at me, then at President, saw President’s crazed smile, and seemed to get the gist.
“Okay, got it. I’m really curious.”
“You don’t get it! Sensei, you don’t get it!”
No, that wasn’t it.
He got it, but Sensei actually likes such stories! After three years of being in his care, I’m just now realizing this!
“I don’t mind, really.”
“Stop, President, hold back. Even with alcohol, this is in front of Sensei.”
“Come on, I want to hear it. So, what is it?”
“Sensei… it’s better if you don’t…”
“Let’s drop this topic! Okay? Let’s drop it! Yeah! How about we talk about the most delicious things we’ve ever eaten? Yes, let’s do that!”
“Hmm? Delicious things? Oh, yeah, recently I went to eat with my wife and—”
“I said let’s drop this topic!”
“What, this is off-limits too?”
…Sensei thoroughly drained our morale.
And then, while draining our energy, we continued to calmly slice the meat, and before we knew it, the plate that Sensei had ordered was almost empty.
“Oh, I’ll order another plate, okay? Kadomi, can you press the ‘ping-pong’ button?”
Honestly, Sensei is really something else, in so many ways.
After that, we somehow managed to change the topic, and safely transitioned to discussing each other’s recent activities and research content, leading to a lively conversation typical of science enthusiasts.
Amazing, as expected of Sensei. Whether it’s life sciences or material engineering or even physics, it doesn’t matter. He adapts to every topic.
By the way, when it comes to these kinds of discussions, I don’t really have a role. My field doesn’t overlap with anyone else’s, so the best I can do is join in on beginner-level science anecdotes like ‘trying to draw a sample with a micropipette but accidentally pressing the eject button and dropping the tip into the sample.’
So, I spent my time chatting with people who also didn’t have much to say about their research, and enjoying a game of One Night Werewolf without Sensei.
“But hey, it’s amazing that all nine of you managed to gather together.”
As the evening was drawing to a close, Sensei suddenly said this.
I’m busy, and so is everyone else.
Even though we’re all busy…
“…Huh? Isn’t it not that unusual…?”
“We actually gather quite often.”
We gather often enough that it doesn’t really feel ‘unusual’ to us.
We recently got together to play Word Wolf, and before that, we played Werewolf and Dominion.
“Wow, you guys still meet up. That’s nice, staying so close.”
But I also know how precious this is.
“I thought you were close before graduation, but I never expected you to stay this close.”
Yes, I think so too.
“Take good care of it.”
Even without being told, I intend to. Whether I can or am able to is another matter, but I intend to do so as much as possible.
Eventually, the evening came to an end.
It turns out Sensei wasn’t very strong with alcohol, so his wife came to pick him up by car. Gwah! We’re being shown up! Gwah!
We chatted in the parking lot for a few minutes until a small car quietly pulled in.
And from it emerged a woman whose smiling demeanor somewhat resembled Sensei.
“Good evening,” she said, and we responded with, “Good evening.”
“Oh, this is my wife.”
I could tell without being told.
Even without standing close together, I could tell.
Stop, don’t show off! Stop! It’s blinding! It’s somehow blinding! How cruel! What a heartless person!
“Oh, these are the members of the famous close-knit group of nine.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
Oh, she can tell too…
“Thank you for today. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Hearing this charming smile from Sensei’s wife, the question in our minds was one:
…Just what kind of rumors have we been the subject of…?
I think we all responded with a half-smile.
“Well, then, could we have a final word from Sensei?”
As we were parting, Kariya, the organizer, said this, and Sensei looked troubled.
“Uh, I don’t really have anything to say.”
“Please, somehow!”
“Uh, then, work hard to get a girlfriend or boyfriend, okay?”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“Well, I really don’t have anything to say…”
“How mean!”
Sensei, who was criticized for not having a closing statement and leaving the event on an unsatisfying note, just laughed heartily.
“Hey, it’s fine if there’s no proper ending today. Your friendship will continue anyway, right?”
And so, without a proper conclusion, the “Surprise (which wasn’t much of a surprise) Congratulations on Your Wedding, Sensei!” party ended, and with brief farewells, Sensei and his wife waved and got into their car.
“Okay, stay close from now on, you guys.”
Leaving those words, the car’s tail lights faded into the distance.
We then lazily started walking toward the station.
“…In the end, it didn’t wrap up neatly, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Well… it’s fine, right? Yeah.”
We walked along, chatting idly.
Even though the traffic lights occasionally split us up, we eventually reached the station.
“…Alright. Before we part, let’s do our customary thing and then disband!”
In front of the station, in a spot that didn’t obstruct pedestrian traffic, we all put our fists out.
“Okay, let’s go. Ready, first is…”
“Paper.”
“Paper.”
“Paper.”
“Scissors.”
“Rock.”
“Paper.”
“Paper.”
“Paper.”
“Paper.”
…And so, as usual, it ended up like this. We never change.
After a few rounds of rock, paper, scissors, Toriumi lost.
“Okay, so the next organizer will be Toriumi!”
“Got it.”
We decided on the next organizer, which essentially meant making plans for the next gathering.
This was our routine.
“Alright, see you next time.”
“See you!”
“I’ll contact you around summer, so be ready!”
Each of us passed through the ticket gate and went home. Thinking about the long early summer and summer ahead, I also headed home.
…It’s fine if there’s no conclusion yet. It’s fine if there’s never a conclusion. At least for today, there isn’t one.
There’s a next time. It continues.
…I wonder when the next time we’ll gather with Sensei will be. If he gets dumped by his wife, we can hold a consolation party for him.
No, more realistically, it might be for the birth of his first child.
In any case, at that time, Sensei will surely say again,
“You guys haven’t changed at all, huh.”
Author’s Note:
For now, this is the end.
However, more will be added in the future.
When that happens, it will be inserted fourth from the bottom (above the unnecessary Epilogue B).
T/N: The latest update for this is actually March 11, 2022. Considering that the one before that is June 10, 2021 and it’s now July 2024, I think it’s safe to say that this is already complete. I enjoyed these extra stories, especially the ones in the modern world since it was so much fun. I sometimes laugh so hard that I had to stop for a bit before I could continue. Hope you also enjoyed it.
PS.
I’m debating if I should also translate the Lab series. I’ll try for now since I don’t want to leave a story incomplete. And the summary makes it sound promising.
After years, it’s finally over. Was a really fun novel, and I’m glad it got fully translated, including the extras. Was wondering if there would ever be an extra that was after Maito had returned for a while, and I’m glad the previous chapter and this one finally answered how the cast was doing after returning. The teacher character really grew on me for a character that wasn’t even isekai’d with the rest of the main cast.
Thank you for all your efforts over the years, translator, and I wish you well with whatever you’re moving on to next.
Thanks to the translator, that’s all I gotta say. I’m still depressed thought.