One sip of wine, one question. What do you want to know?
Upon hearing that the person above was Ji Hong’s second brother, Yu Jinnian was very surprised. He had always thought that Ji Hong’s second brother was traveling far away, but unexpectedly, it turned out that he was no longer in this world. He immediately became respectful and did not dare to look directly. He first took three incense sticks from the altar, lit them, and held them to his forehead, bowing three times reverently before cautiously looking up.
At first, he thought he was seeing things wrong. He closed his eyes and opened them again, carefully examining the tablet. He couldn’t help but feel puzzled: why was there no name on this memorial tablet, only a chrysanthemum engraved on it?
Ji Hong knew he was puzzled and sneered, “Second brother had a noble status. Someone like Jing Zhong couldn’t erect a tablet and offer sacrifices on his own accord. He probably didn’t dare to carve the second brother’s name directly, so he replaced it with a chrysanthemum.”
“My second brother loved chrysanthemums the most when he was alive. Father once rewarded him with a courtyard with a pond and pavilion. He even renamed it ‘Golden Secluded Pavilion,’ and in late autumn, it would be covered with chrysanthemums. He would lean on the railing, drinking leisurely, quite at ease. The mansion was inevitably influenced by his preference, often decorated with plum blossoms and chrysanthemums, plain and elegant, causing relatives and friends to think the mansion prided itself on its purity, looking at it with high regard.”
When Ji Hong mentioned his second brother, Yu Jinnian couldn’t quite grasp his feelings. This person had a slight smile on his lips, but his eyes were dim, both joyful and sorrowful. It seemed that this second brother was very important to Ji Hong.
But what was the relationship between the second brother and Jing Zhong that could make the always cold and restrained Ji Hong so furious?
Yu Jinnian hesitated whether he should ask or wait for Ji Hong to slowly explain. At that moment, Ah Chun ran back, sweating profusely, with dirt on his face and knees, holding several packs of medicine tightly in his arms. He rushed in, shouting anxiously, “Brother, brother, Ah Chun is back!”
Seeing him return, Ji Hong fell silent and said only, “I’m going for a walk.”
Yu Jinnian knew Ji Hong didn’t want to hear or see anything related to Jing Zhong, so he dared not speak much, following him step by step to the door. In a moment of distraction, he bumped into Ji Hong’s back.
Ji Hong asked, “Why are you following me?”
Yu Jinnian clung to his back like a wall gecko. Just as Ji Hong was about to turn around, Yu Jinnian pressed his head against him, preventing Ji Hong from turning. His heart was in turmoil, and he didn’t feel the slightest bit awkward about this intimate posture.
“What are you doing?” Ji Hong didn’t move his upper body, only turned his head slightly, seeing a fuzzy head stuck to his back.
Yu Jinnian mumbled, “You… you’re going for a walk. Are you coming back?” He had never seen Ji Hong so angry before and felt very uneasy. He even thought back to the morning, regretting going to the fish market. If he hadn’t met Ah Chun and learned about Jing Zhong’s illness, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten involved in this matter, making Ji Hong so angry.
But now, what should he do? On one side was the critically ill Jing Zhong, and on the other was the furious Ji Hong.
This man was mysterious, his origins unknown, like a butterfly that fluttered in by chance. Only because his inconspicuous wildflower produced delicious nectar did the butterfly linger for a while. But butterflies eventually fly away, and there are many flowers in the world. Perhaps one day, Ji Hong would tire of his nectar and leave as quietly as he came. Moreover, today, this wildflower had ungratefully stung Ji Hong.
He waited for a long time, and Ji Hong asked back, “Do you want me to come back?”
Yu Jinnian said, “Of course, of course I do—” Words that were usually hard to say came out in this situation, urgently spilling out. He pursed his lips, looked up at Ji Hong, and whispered, “I want you to come back… So, will you come back?”
Ji Hong turned around, cupped Yu Jinnian’s face with one hand, and gently rubbed his dry lips with his thumb, reminding Yu Jinnian of that sticky night on Hatter Mountain. He couldn’t help but rise on tiptoe a little, slightly opening his mouth, as if waiting for something. But at that moment, Ji Hong stepped back, his hand sliding from Yu Jinnian’s face to his shoulder, giving a light squeeze, saying, “I don’t know either. You’ll have to wait and see.”
With that, he left.
Yu Jinnian stood there in a daze, watching Ji Hong’s figure disappear at the end of the narrow alley, like a white butterfly in a dream flying away.
“Brother, brother, sob…” Behind him, Ah Chun started crying.
Yu Jinnian stood there for a moment, then snapped back to reality and ran back to the room. Jing Zhong was vomiting again, his stomach already empty, only bringing up stomach acid. Vomiting like this wouldn’t do. He picked up a teapot, mixed salt water, had Ah Chun clean Jing Zhong’s mouth, and gave him some salt water to rinse. Then he went to prepare the medicine himself.
The medicine to clear the intestines and reduce heat was extremely bitter and easily caused vomiting, but there was no choice. Jing Zhong needed to lower his intracranial pressure, but the more water he drank, the more it worsened the edema. He couldn’t not drink, but he couldn’t drink too much either. So, he had to make the decoction strong, giving small amounts multiple times, letting Jing Zhong rest if he vomited before giving more. He instructed Ah Chun to stay by the bed, often using a cold towel to wipe Jing Zhong’s body to lower the temperature.
After giving the medicine, Jing Zhong stabilized a little. Yu Jinnian ran to the courtyard gate, stood on tiptoe, and looked around. Seeing that Ji Hong hadn’t returned, he dejectedly went back inside. Before long, he ran out again, repeatedly going in and out. Finally, he moved a stool and sat at the door to wait.
When the sun was setting, the white butterfly still had not returned.
Yu Jinnian suddenly stood up and ran towards a noodle shop. He darted through several streets and alleys, nearly bumping into people. From a distance, he saw his family’s noodle shop. Qing Huan was hanging lanterns with a bamboo pole at the entrance. Seeing him running like a mad dog, she was surprised and laughed, “Brother Nian, why are you in such a hurry? Is there a wild dog chasing you?”
Yu Jinnian didn’t answer. He rushed into the noodle shop, checked front and back, and even searched the corners of the kitchen.
Qing Huan asked in confusion, “What are you looking for?”
“Has Ah Hong come back?” Yu Jinnian asked.
Qing Huan was even more puzzled and said, “Didn’t Mr. Ji go with you? Didn’t you come back together? I haven’t seen Mr. Ji!”
Yu Jinnian’s face showed disappointment. He lifted the pot lid and saw that the soup inside was no longer hot. He quickly instructed Qing Huan, “Add some firewood and boil the water. If Ah Hong comes back, prepare some food for him. Is there still any noodles left? Make sure the noodles are soft; he doesn’t like them hard.”
Qing Huan was stunned, then suddenly laughed, “What’s going on? Haven’t you always personally prepared Mr. Ji’s food? You never let anyone else do it. Why are you asking me, an outsider, to cook noodles for him today?” She shook her head repeatedly, “Spare me, please. Mr. Ji is very picky. If he eats my noodles, he’ll surely give me the cold shoulder.”
Yu Jinnian thought to himself, I wish I could see his cold face right now.
After waiting anxiously in the noodle shop for a while, he worried that Ji Hong might have gone back to Ah Chun’s place. He quickly bid farewell to Qing Huan and headed to Huaishu Alley.
Panting, he ran into the yard, which was silent and empty.
Yu Jinnian felt as if he had been thrown into a cold lake. When he rushed back, he had a glimmer of hope that Ji Hong might have just gone out for a walk. But now, his heart sank heavily. He squatted in front of the chrysanthemum garden, looked at the flowers, and muttered, “What a heartless butterfly!”
Ah Chun came out, holding a bowl of boiled taro, “Want some?”
Yu Jinnian took the bowl and found that the taro was cold. He didn’t know how long it had been sitting there. He asked Ah Chun, “Do you only eat this?”
“Ah Chun only knows how to make this. My brother loves it! After eating the taro, you can drink the taro soup.” Ah Chun nodded, his eyes fixed on the bowl, seeming reluctant to part with it.
Jing Zhong had been sick for three or four days. Yu Jinnian wondered how Ah Chun, who was a bit slow, had managed during these days. Although Jing Zhong was not a good person, Ah Chun was innocent. Yu Jinnian patted his clothes and stood up, “Don’t eat this cold food. I’ll make something for you. What do you want to eat?”
Ah Chun’s face lit up with anticipation. He hesitated and asked, “Can I have wontons?”
Yu Jinnian replied, “Sure, I’ll make you wontons. Just wait.”
Ah Chun happily ran back to tell his brother that they could have wontons tonight. Seeing his joyful demeanor, Yu Jinnian thought, it’s good to be simple-minded; no worries at all. He went to the kitchen and saw a few stoves, but the pots were cold and empty. Although there were many ingredients on the kitchen counter, only a few long-lasting vegetables were still usable; most of the others were moldy. He opened a nearby clay pot, which contained cold boiled taro, and another jar held pickled vegetables.
He roughly picked out some usable ingredients and went to the street corner to buy a piece of tofu, then started cooking.
The wontons Ah Chun requested were easy to make. Making the dough and rolling out the skins was not a problem. Since there was no time to buy meat, he simply made a filling with cabbage, shiitake mushrooms, and tofu. The cabbage was a bit wilted, but it didn’t affect the taste much. He folded the square wonton skins into the simplest lotus shape and boiled them with some mushroom slices for flavor. He finished the dish with a drizzle of sesame oil, making it quite delicious.
After the wontons, Yu Jinnian decided to transform the cold taro into taro and rice noodle soup. He peeled and chopped the taro into pieces, smashed garlic cloves, and used the wonton broth to heat the soup again, adding garlic, mushroom slices, and dried shrimp. Once the shrimp softened, he added the rice noodles.
While the rice noodles cooked, he heated a small pot with a thin layer of oil and fried the taro pieces until they were crispy and golden. He then added them to the pot with the rice noodles. After a while, when the taro was soft, he garnished the soup with a few cabbage leaves and served it.
He brought the taro and rice noodle soup, cabbage wontons, and a small dish of pickled vegetables to the room.
Ah Chun was very happy, sitting by the bed with the bowl in his hands. He talked to his delirious brother while eating wontons in small bites and kept nodding and saying thank you to Yu Jinnian.
The fire in the kitchen was still burning, and Yu Jinnian, feeling restless and worried that Ji Hong might return hungry, decided to make a dish of vegetarian braised “meat.”
This dish, similar to vegetarian “sparrow,” was said to be an invention from ancient monasteries. Life in the monasteries was austere and difficult, and although monks strictly adhered to many rules, they still had cravings. So, someone in some dynasty created this vegetarian braised “meat” to comfort themselves. Unexpectedly, it became a famous dish. This dish had the appearance of real braised meat—oily red and yellow—but it was completely vegetarian with no meat at all.
In reality, the vegetarian braised “meat” was made from winter melon.
Yu Jinnian, not being a monk, did not need to adhere to Buddhist dietary restrictions. He heated a pan with vegetable oil, sautéed minced ginger and chopped scallions until fragrant, then added peeled winter melon slices cut to the size of meat pieces, frying them until golden.
Next, he finely chopped shiitake mushrooms and sautéed them until fragrant. Overcooking would dissipate the aroma, which was crucial for this dish’s taste.
He took a round bowl, layered the fried winter melon slices thickly along the bottom and sides, filled it with the sautéed shiitake mushrooms, and sprinkled in star anise, fennel, angelica, and garlic slices. He then made a sauce with oil, soy sauce, rice wine, sugar, salt, and mushroom water, pouring it into the bowl. The bowl was then steamed over high heat for about fifteen minutes.
For the final step, he blanched cabbage leaves briefly to enhance their green color, then laid them out on a white plate. He drained the liquid from the steamed winter melon, pressed it firmly, and quickly inverted it onto the cabbage leaves. He thickened the reserved liquid into a sauce, poured it over the dish, and sprinkled chopped scallions on top.
The dish looked and smelled like real braised meat, and although it was a bit of a self-deception, it was undeniably appetizing.
Having finished preparing the vegetarian braised “meat” and some sour pickled vegetable porridge, Yu Jinnian found himself with nothing to do. He wandered around for a bit, then slipped into the west wing room. He adjusted the wicks of the candles on the incense table, noticed that the ancestral tablet was slightly dusty, and carefully took it down to wipe it. Finding something to say, he muttered, “I don’t know your name, so I’ll just call you Second Brother.”
The tablet, of course, didn’t respond. Yu Jinnian sat on a meditation mat, holding the tablet and talking to himself, “Second Brother, you can surely see Ah Hong from the afterlife. Please tell him to come back and eat.”
As soon as he finished speaking, there was a cracking sound in the empty ancestral hall, startling Yu Jinnian. Upon closer inspection, he found a small crack on the tablet’s chrysanthemum pattern.
“Are you hungry too, Second Brother?” Yu Jinnian quickly stood up, placed the tablet back properly, and bowed, “It’s my first time meeting you, and I didn’t even prepare an offering. Please forgive me. I’ll prepare something right away.”
After leaving the room, Yu Jinnian pondered what Second Brother might like to eat. His gaze fell on the small white chrysanthemums in the flower bed, and he remembered a bag of dried agar in Jing Zhong’s kitchen. An idea formed in his mind: he would make crystal chrysanthemum jelly.
He picked ten small white chrysanthemums, washed them, and brewed them in boiling water. Using the chrysanthemum water, he dissolved the agar.
Agar, also known as “stone flower” in its fresh form, was a type of seaweed. It had a simple preparation method: soak, rinse, blanch, and then season with oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, and ginger for a crisp, refreshing salad.
However, cooking agar for a long time transformed it into something different. Depending on the amount of water used, it could become jelly or pudding.
Agar was sweet and salty, known for its cooling properties, making it a perfect summer treat.
Yu Jinnian slowly stirred the mixture, adding sugar as needed, until the agar melted into a gel-like consistency in the chrysanthemum water. When it started to boil, he removed it from the heat. He then took two small yellow chrysanthemums, shredded the petals, and stirred them into the agar mixture, ensuring an even distribution. This would create a beautiful pattern when the jelly set.
The next task was to wait for it to solidify.
The wait was long and tedious. Yu Jinnian dozed off by the stove, unsure how much time had passed. When he woke up, the jelly was nearly set, and it was pitch dark outside.
He reheated the vegetarian braised “meat” and the sour pickled vegetable porridge, fretting, “It’s dark already, why isn’t he back yet?”
As he muttered, he faintly heard some noise in the yard. Yu Jinnian immediately dropped everything and ran outside. His legs were numb, and he stumbled over the threshold. From a distance, he saw a tall figure entering the yard. He quickly made a detour to the west wing room to bow to the ancestral tablet, exclaiming joyfully, “Second Brother, you’re really effective!”
His white butterfly had returned!
Between the side rooms and the gate, there was a narrow covered corridor next to the flower bed. After paying his respects to Second Brother, Yu Jinnian saw someone sitting on a bench under the corridor, leaning against a pillar, showing half of his side profile. The chrysanthemums swayed gracefully in the hall, and in the dim light, the person in white looked like a painting.
Hearing footsteps, Ji Hong opened his eyes.
Yu Jinnian walked to his side and saw that he was holding a small jar of wine, so he said, “Are you cold? Let me warm the wine for you.”
“Mm.” Ji Hong handed him the wine.
Yu Jinnian cut two slices of ginger and put them into the wine. When the wine was warm enough to be slightly hot to the touch, he took it off the fire. He then found a white porcelain wine pot and two small wine cups in the kitchen. Carrying a set of wine utensils, some simple braised pork, and two plates of chrysanthemum cakes, he went out.
Ji Hong watched him carry the food tray from the kitchen to the wing room. After staying inside for a moment, Yu Jinnian came out and asked, “What were you doing inside?”
“I offered a plate of chrysanthemum cakes to Second Brother… I told Second Brother to ask you to come back for dinner, and here you are.” Yu Jinnian smiled as he put down the food tray. He planned to sit next to Ji Hong and pour wine for him, but suddenly, the man grabbed his sleeve and pulled him up. He lost his balance and fell onto Ji Hong’s lap, spilling most of the warmed wine.
He hurried to get up, but Ji Hong pressed him down, making sure his buttocks were firmly on Ji Hong’s thigh, and asked, “Did you wait for me?”
Yu Jinnian honestly replied, “Mm. I even went to the noodle shop to look for you.”
“What were you looking for me for?” Ji Hong had a slight smell of alcohol. It was faint, almost undetectable, but it made one want to sniff more to catch the scent clearly. His voice was deep and seemed soaked in wine, gently stirring Yu Jinnian’s eardrums. After a while, Yu Jinnian couldn’t answer, so he struggled to get off Ji Hong to pour more wine. Ji Hong, seemingly with inexplicable strength, pressed him down again with one hand, pulling him closer. “Why did you wait for me, hmm?”
“…”
The spilled wine on the ground emitted an even stronger fragrance. Ji Hong squinted at Yu Jinnian, smiling at something unknown. After a moment, he said, “Fine, you won’t answer my questions. Then you ask.”
Yu Jinnian blinked and asked, “… What kind of wine did you drink? It smells nice.”
Ji Hong raised his hand to pinch the back of his neck, mocking, “You’re young but already a little wine lover.”
Yu Jinnian went to take a wine cup, but Ji Hong grabbed his wrist. Ji Hong’s right hand held Yu Jinnian’s wrist that was holding the wine cup and drank the remaining wine in one gulp. He kept the wine in his mouth, hooked his left arm around Yu Jinnian, and fed the wine to him mouth to mouth, even licking the boy’s lips. “How does it taste?”
“…” Yu Jinnian’s face turned hot, his hand went weak, and he couldn’t taste anything. The man lazily reached out, picked a small chrysanthemum, and casually pinned it into his hair.
Ji Hong had been sitting in the tavern all afternoon. Although he thought he hadn’t drunk much, he had absorbed quite a bit of the alcohol smell. He moved his leg slightly and felt the firm, round flesh next to his thigh twitching uncomfortably. He chuckled lowly, “One question per sip of wine—what do you want to know?”
Yu Jinnian widened his eyes, not expecting such a game. Sitting on Ji Hong’s lap, he saw from a distance that the door to the wing room, where Second Brother’s tablet was placed, was slightly ajar, blown open by the evening wind. He had many questions, such as why Jing Zhong was disloyal and unjust, Second Brother’s past, and the reason for Ji Hong’s fear of the dark. He was curious about all these things, but at the moment, one question was far more important than the others. If Ji Hong could answer this question, then he wouldn’t need to know the rest.
He asked, “… Will you leave again?”
The boy had always been clever. Ji Hong thought he would be more direct, hitting the mark, but he didn’t expect him to ask such an unrelated question. On second thought, out of hundreds of questions, he chose this one first—did it mean something?
Ji Hong admitted he was pleased and acknowledged that this boy was particularly adept at quietly tugging at his heartstrings. He asked, “Where’s the wine?”
Yu Jinnian quickly raised the wine cup to Ji Hong’s lips, but Ji Hong said, “That’s not how you drank it earlier.” Yu Jinnian was momentarily stunned, thinking, is he asking me to feed him like that?
Being stared at leisurely by Ji Hong for a while, Yu Jinnian gritted his teeth, held the wine in his mouth, and tremblingly cupped Ji Hong’s face. But he didn’t know how to perform such an intimate and intoxicating way of feeding wine. The wine burned his throat, and before he could reach Ji Hong’s lips, he had already swallowed most of it.
Seeing his hesitation, Ji Hong added fuel to the fire, saying, “Forget it, get down.”
Yu Jinnian, falling into the trap, despite having no wine in his mouth, clumsily leaned in, lightly biting Ji Hong’s lips. In his past and present lives, he had never even held a girl’s hand except during games in kindergarten. His only kissing experiences were with Ji Hong, mostly passive.
He bit Ji Hong’s lips with some force, which felt more like revenge than a kiss—revenge for Ji Hong disappearing without a word for an entire afternoon, making him worry that he would never return.
The angrier he got, the more forceful his kiss became. This was probably the most furious kiss of his life. In his anger, he pushed Ji Hong. The pillar was round, and Ji Hong was only leaning against it lightly. Unexpectedly pushed, he fell backward, both of them toppling into the flower bed, crushing a large patch of seedlings.
Fortunately, the bench wasn’t high. Ji Hong landed on his back, dazed for a while. Yu Jinnian, half-riding and half-lying on him, grew bolder after his first kiss. He grabbed Ji Hong’s collar and leaned in for another bite.
This was truly a case of shooting himself in the foot. Ji Hong hissed in pain, finally coming to his senses. He frowned and said, “Are you a cat?”
“A cat wouldn’t bother biting you.” Yu Jinnian raised his head to examine the bite mark and guiltily said, “Oh no, it really broke the skin…” He reached out a finger to touch it and felt oddly proud since he had caused the injury.
He sneaked a glance at Ji Hong, and suddenly, the events of the day came flooding back. Feeling disheartened, he finally got off Ji Hong, reaching for the wine cup that had fallen into the flower bed. Seeing the cup rim was dirty, he discarded it and drank directly from the wine pot, feeling dejected. “It’s my fault. Jing Zhong killed Second Brother, yet I insisted on saving him. You leaving home is understandable. But I didn’t mean to go against you. He looked like he was about to die, and I couldn’t bear to watch him die in front of me… Once Jing Zhong gets a little better, I’ll transfer him to Shouren Hall. You can take your revenge then…”
Ji Hong saw the light in his eyes dim and soften. He said, “How is it leaving home? I just went to the tavern to sit for a while.”
Turning the situation over, it really had little to do with Yu Jinnian. He was simply fulfilling his duty as a doctor, unwilling to see bloodshed.
After all, Jing Zhong was just a small character who fled in battle. How could he have harmed Ji Yan? Sixteen years had passed since Second Brother’s death. Most of those involved were long gone. The key figures had already been executed, their heads displayed on the city walls of Beiyan Pass for three years. By now, even their ashes were untraceable.
Apart from Ji Hong himself, the only one he could still resent was Jing Zhong, the cowardly guard who fled and left Second Brother behind—though even if the guard had stayed, it would have only delayed Ji Yan’s death by a little.
Over the years, everything about Ji Yan had faded like the cold sand outside Beiyan Pass, blown away by the wind and snow, leaving no clear rights or wrongs.
Yet Jing Zhong’s appearance ripped open the old wounds Ji Hong had hidden deep inside, exposing the still-bleeding scars. Jing Zhong, who abandoned his master, was like a cruel mirror, reflecting Ji Hong’s own incompetence and weakness.
Now, there was no trace of Ji Yan in the Ji household. Even the potted chrysanthemums in the courtyard had been removed, as if Second Brother had never existed. Everyone kept silent, fearful of displeasing the master by mentioning the deceased heir. Ji Hong, with his awkward status, became even more disliked.
He ended up being the one with the least right to remember Second Brother. The mistress of the Ji family even forbade him from entering the ancestral hall. The only keepsake he had were a few poems Ji Yan had casually written during visits to Kanghe Garden to play with him.
Meanwhile, the disloyal guard Jing Zhong, an insignificant figure, had a garden full of golden chrysanthemums, Ji Yan’s personally inscribed sword, and a whole wing room dedicated to worshipping Ji Yan. How could Ji Hong not be envious, angry, and view him as a great enemy?
After all, he was just a guard.
Ji Hong didn’t want to drag Yu Jinnian into these old affairs, so he had always been evasive. However, after drinking alone in the tavern today, he realized he wasn’t as indifferent as he thought. Facing the past, he still couldn’t remain calm and even took out his anger on the young man.
The warm wine, infused with ginger slices, made Yu Jinnian’s face flush. He pursed his lips, looking at Ji Hong, unsure of what to say.
“Get up, the ground is cold.” Ji Hong sighed, stood up, and pulled him out of the flower bed, brushing the dirt off his clothes. “Didn’t you make some dishes for me? They’ll get cold if we don’t eat them soon. Let me taste what you made for your ‘Second Brother’.”