The hairpin is mine, what do you like?
It had been some time since Yan Yuyao hung herself. Today, a faint and salty stench slowly spread through the kitchen, as if something had rotted. Qing Huan, frightened, immediately thought there was a dead rat caught by Xiao Dingdang somewhere in the kitchen. She turned the place upside down, rummaging through pots and cabinets, only to find that the smell was coming from under the windowsill.
She moved aside a tightly covered porcelain dish, and upon lifting the lid, she found a dead fish. Qing Huan wrinkled her nose in disgust and was about to throw it away when Yu Jinnian spotted her and rushed over to stop her. “That’s mine, it’s mine!”
“Why keep a dead fish? It’s already gone bad,” Qing Huan wondered aloud.
Yu Jinnian hurried over to check. He pinched the fish and, despite the overwhelming stench, remembered he had salted the fish some time ago. Luckily, the weather had been cold recently, so it hadn’t spoiled too badly. Otherwise, a perfectly good mandarin fish would have gone to waste. With lunchtime approaching, Yu Jinnian decided not to let the smell linger any longer. He quickly washed the fish clean by the well, drained it, and fried it on both sides until golden.
Next, he added scallions, ginger, and peppers, pouring in a small pot of water to bring it to a boil. Then he seasoned it with soy sauce, chili, and salt, and let it simmer over medium heat.
When the fish was served, though the stench had been somewhat masked by the fragrant sauces, a peculiar smell still lingered, wrinkling noses. A perfectly fine lunch was nearly ruined by the pungent dish of pickled fish Yu Jinnian brought to the table.
He, however, ate with great relish. Noticing that no one else dared to touch their chopsticks, Yu Jinnian promptly broke off a small piece of fish, placed it on a saucer, and held it up to Ji Hong’s mouth. “Ah…”
Facing the inevitable, Ji Hong held his breath, opened his mouth, and cautiously tasted it. After a long moment, he finally summoned the courage to roll it across his tongue. Salty, fragrant, though the fish was evidently spoiled, the meat was surprisingly soft and tender, almost melting in his mouth. Even the small bones had disintegrated. After swallowing, he let out a long breath, feeling the slight spiciness and the strange taste rise up, accompanied by a rich, savory flavor.
It was, in fact, quite novel.
With Ji Hong’s seal of approval, Qing Huan, too, became curious and picked up a piece to try. Yet before it even reached her mouth, she found herself at odds with the odor. Fortunately, Duan Ming, recognizing the dish, eagerly ate a bite and exclaimed, “When I was traveling the countryside, I once had this in Weianfu. The taste is unique, unforgettable. I didn’t expect the young master’s skills to rival those of a local farmer’s authentic pickled mandarin fish!”
Yu Jinnian beamed, “Duan, you’re the only one who gets it!”
Still, Qing Huan couldn’t get past the smell. She placed the piece of fish back into Duan Ming’s bowl with a smile, “You go ahead and have more then.”
Duan Ming, who had been showering the dish with praise moments earlier, fell silent, staring blankly at the extra piece of fish in his bowl as if it were some delicate flower. With his ears turning red, he gazed at it for a long time before Qing Huan teased him enough that he snapped out of it and hurriedly ate his meal.
After lunch, Ji Hong helped Yu Jinnian wash the dishes. With both of their hands still wet, Ji Hong took the opportunity to grab the young man’s hand, hoping to pull him into the room for a nap. But the youth wriggled free like a slippery eel, darting off out of sight.
Qing Huan, brushing past the curtain in the main hall, saw him rushing outside. In the back courtyard, she spotted Ji Hong standing there with a gloomy expression, hands hanging by his sides, which only made her more curious.
Yu Jinnian, clutching his chest, ran all the way to the east side of the city, slipping into a grand building on Baihua Street. He moved quietly, sneaking in.
Passersby, seeing his suspicious behavior, as if he were sneaking into a brothel, looked up and realized it was the Spring Breeze Delight Restaurant.
Inside the pavilion, Yu Jinnian headed straight to a small compartment on the second floor. He opened the door to find an elderly master with a goatee waiting for him. As Yu entered, the master set down his teacup and rose to bow.
Yu Jinnian stood frozen, only to be startled by a slap on the back. “What are you standing around for? Go on in!” Turning, he saw it was Jiang Bingren, and only then did he hesitantly proceed, bowing to the master in return. The two sat across from each other at a small table, while Jiang Bingren perched on a short stool by the side.
“You know that jade carving is an art, and not many are willing to teach it. And you’re not even this man’s apprentice, yet you expect him to show you his craft—it’s unreasonable,” Jiang Bingren said. “This master carver is an old family friend. That’s the only reason I asked him to give you a few pointers. How much you grasp depends on your own talent.”
Yu Jinnian straightened up, nodded obediently, and pulled out the treasure he had been guarding for days. He carefully unwrapped the cloth, revealing a long, slender piece of jade that had been roughly polished. Its color was a mix of white and a strange yellow-green, giving it an odd, impure appearance.
The master examined it closely and frowned. “This jade is of poor quality.” His appraisal was instinctive, not meant to insult Yu Jinnian, but he wasn’t one to sugarcoat things either. “I heard you’re carving this for someone special… What do you plan to make?”
“A hairpin, shaped like bamboo, with a peace knot on the top,” Yu Jinnian replied promptly.
“For a girl, bamboo is an unusual choice.” The master chuckled, oblivious to the subtle expressions on the faces of the two young men in front of him. He laid out his tools on the table and briefly explained the functions of each, along with tips on carving and setting stones.
Jiang Bingren, meanwhile, scratched his head in confusion, while Yu Jinnian, though lost, kept his focus, committing every word the master said to memory. For the first time, Yu realized how complex jade carving could be: drawing designs, setting shapes, tracing lines, covering blemishes, and refining the details—all of it made his head spin.
Before sunset, the master left. Jiang Bingren, bored halfway through, had already gone to the kitchen to supervise. The sky outside was gloomy, and light rain began to fall. The cold droplets, though soft, felt like melted ice water upon contact. Jiang Bingren lay by the kitchen window, gazing listlessly up at the second-floor compartment, where he had last seen the master leave. He figured Yu Jinnian must have gone by now and didn’t bother looking any further.
As evening fell, even the staff at the pavilion had finished their meals. The early twilight of winter cast a heavy curtain of darkness over the sky. Jiang Bingren lazily shoveled a few bites of rice into his mouth, then flicked some crumbs to feed the goldfish in the yard. As he looked up through the gentle drizzle, he spotted a small, flickering lantern swaying in the distance. Staring at it, he quickly grabbed a pot of hot plum tea from the kitchen, along with a plate of snacks, and hurried upstairs.
Pushing open the door, he found Yu Jinnian still bent over the table, hard at work. Piles of discarded paper littered the floor. Jiang picked up a crumpled sheet and saw it was filled with various bamboo sketches, all crooked. Scratching his head, Jiang placed the hot plum tea on the table and handed Yu a red bean cake. “Why are you working yourself to the bone over this? And wasting all our paper?”
“I’ll pay for the paper,” Yu Jinnian muttered without looking up. He didn’t touch the cake, only tightly gripping a fine brush to sketch bamboo on the jade. The soft brush was difficult to control, and the amount of ink had to be just right. His hands trembled, and it took several attempts before he finally drew a satisfactory design. Only then did he put down the brush, drank a few cups of plum tea, and said, “I won’t be coming back tomorrow. I’ll go to the master’s workshop—it needs jade sand.”
Jiang Bingren noticed the smudges on Yu’s face, likely from brushing away stray hair, and was caught off guard by his words. “Not coming back?”
“Come in through the front door, leave through the back. Don’t let anyone see me,” Yu Jinnian whispered, handing the carefully wrapped jade piece to Jiang Bingren. “Keep this for me. I’ll come get it tomorrow.”
Jiang peeked inside the cloth bundle. “This jade isn’t worth much. And from what I’ve seen, the person you’re giving it to doesn’t seem to lack for gold or jade. They might not even appreciate something this shabby. Besides, I’ve seen that jade machine—it spins so fast, you’ll lose a finger if you’re not careful. I can give you something better, and you can just gift that…”
He originally meant to warn Yu about the dangers of the jade machine, but by the time he spoke, it came out wrong.
“I just want to!” As expected, Yu Jinnian shot him a glare and retorted stubbornly, “If I break my fingers, I’ll give him my fingers along with it! I don’t need yours.”
After saying that, he rushed downstairs, quickly washed his hands and face, and headed west. Jiang Bingren stood by the window on the second floor, holding the piece of jade, watching Yu Jinnian’s bouncy figure fade into the distance. He muttered to himself, “I never said you couldn’t do it…”
Recently, Yu Jinnian had been acting strange, always avoiding Ji Hong. He thought he was being discreet, but even Sui Sui noticed. With innocent curiosity, she ran to him and asked if he had fought with Ji Hong: “Mom said only people who are guilty hide from others. If you haven’t done anything wrong, you’d be upfront!”
Even after being lectured by the little girl, Yu Jinnian didn’t feel the slightest remorse. Every day after lunch, he would head to the Spring Breeze Delight Restaurant, only returning home exhausted when the lanterns outside the houses were lit and Ji Hong had already gone to bed. He would kick off his shoes, toss his clothes aside, and crawl under the covers.
Ji Hong, startled awake, would reach out to hold him, but Yu Jinnian was like a dead weight, unmoving. The next morning, before dawn, he would get up and disappear again after lunch.
One rare evening, Ji Hong came back, freshly washed, and seeing the boy home, he rubbed some jasmine-scented balm on his wrists. He got into bed and softly chatted, hoping to coax some affection. But before he could even touch Yu Jinnian’s waistband, he heard steady breathing by his ear—the boy had fallen asleep!
This went on for several nights, and even Ji Hong couldn’t help but grow suspicious. What kind of labor was Yu Jinnian doing every afternoon at the Spring Breeze Delight Restaurant? Ji Hong, sitting in a noodle shop, found his thoughts drifting, worried that Yu Jinnian might be getting bullied, silently enduring hardships on his own.
And indeed, Yu Jinnian was suffering each afternoon.
The jade carving machine was no easy task. He had to use his feet to operate it while controlling the jade sanding water by hand. The carving relied on the spinning blade, and any unsteady hand could easily result in a mistake. Early on, Yu Jinnian had carelessly made a thin scratch on the jade. He had to rely on strong tea to stay alert because another wrong move could snap the delicate jade hairpin in two.
Both his hands were covered in grit and mud from sanding, and his fingers were raw from constantly rubbing the coarse jade and changing the blades. His hands were red and sore, and his ankles ached from working the foot pedal of the machine.
Ji Hong had given him a real gemstone dagger, a precious heirloom from his mother. Yu Jinnian felt he had to return the gesture with something meaningful. It couldn’t be something too common or too cheap—it had to match the value of the exquisite family dagger.
One day at a jewelry shop, he had spotted a white jade hairpin. Its pure, simple color seemed made for Ji Hong. He had wanted to buy it for him, but the design was too ornate, so he decided to make one himself.
However, Yu Jinnian had underestimated the difficulty of jade carving. He had thought it would be similar to wood or stone carving, but he hadn’t realized it would involve sanding with jade powder and carefully scraping bit by bit with the machine. Once he started, he realized it was far more complicated than he’d imagined. But he had already bought the material, started the carving, and owed a huge favor to Jiang Bingren. No matter what, he had to finish the perfect jade bamboo hairpin.
He just wasn’t sure if Ji Hong would like it…
Yu Jinnian, usually carefree, now felt a bit anxious. Amidst that anxiety, he finally completed the final polishing step. He asked the master to help embed the peace knot he had made earlier. Then he carefully washed the finished hairpin in clear water and dried it with a soft cloth.
The jade bamboo hairpin was smooth and bright, but the thin scratch he had made earlier was still visible. However, from a distance, it looked like a natural bamboo joint.
“It’s barely passable, good enough to look at,” the master said with disdain. “But don’t go around saying this came from my shop.”
To Yu Jinnian, this was already high praise. He quickly thanked the master profusely and expressed his gratitude to the other jade carvers who had patiently helped him despite his clumsiness. He also invited his fellow workers to have a meal at the noodle shop.
After thanking everyone, he finally took his leave.
The Spring Breeze Delight Restaurant was the tallest building on Baihua Street, with its ornate carvings and colorful decorations. Every year during the mid-autumn festival, noble families would reserve the pavilion to enjoy reunion dinners while gazing at the moon, with the whole eastern part of the city visible from its windows.
Jiang Bingren leaned against the balcony railing, munching on a bean bun. From a distance, he saw the back door of a shop open and close, and a figure walked out into the drizzle. The person didn’t rush away but stood under the eaves, cheerfully looking up at the sky. Jiang Bingren glanced at the shop sign, its yellow-white background boasting a large “Jade” character, swaying grandly in the wind. He tossed the bean bun onto the plate, clapped his hands clean, and went back inside, grabbing a freshly made plate of jade belt cakes from the kitchen and stuffing them into his sleeve before heading out the door.
He bit into a piece of jade belt cake as he walked, holding a beautiful oiled-paper umbrella. The umbrella was a delicate shade of yellow, with flowing calligraphy that depicted waves stretching across thousands of miles and twilight mist settling. The strokes imitated the legendary Blue Phoenix scroll, lively and elegant, so even though Jiang Bingren knew it wasn’t an original, he cherished it dearly and rarely used it.
Leaving Baihua Street and turning into Tongzi Alley, the Jade Workshop was just a few dozen steps away. The steady drizzle was like a curtain of tiny beads falling from the sky, scattering on the ground like pearls hitting jade plates. From afar, he saw the boy under the eaves turn around, just as he was about to call out, when suddenly Yu Jinnian sprinted in the opposite direction.
Jiang Bingren turned to see a young man in a smoky-colored cloak, with skin as pale as jade. Yu Jinnian dashed under the man’s umbrella and looked up at him, speaking softly. His expression reminded Jiang Bingren of the way Yu had gazed at the jade while carving—full of reverence.
So he wasn’t just looking at jade, he was looking through it, seeing the person behind it.
Jiang Bingren glanced up at his own umbrella, the words “Waking to wine tonight, but finding no joy in this fine hour” written on it. His eyes drooped as he lowered the umbrella to hide his face and took a few steps back into Tongzi Alley. He knew full well that the boy’s beloved had come to fetch him, but he still felt bitter, uncomfortable. Kicking a loose stone with all his might, he sent it flying far away.
Suddenly, he heard an “Ow!” Jiang Bingren, who had only recently reformed his wild ways, instinctively started to flee but stopped after a few steps. He didn’t know what possessed him, but he slowly turned back. Peeking around the alley wall, he saw a man lying face-down on the ground, motionless, with the stone he had kicked lying beside the man’s ear.
“Dead or alive?” Jiang Bingren felt a chill, cautiously approaching and nudging the person with his foot. “Hey—ah!”
Jiang Bingren let out a scream, dropping his umbrella in fright—the man had grabbed his ankle, yanking him to the ground. As he desperately crawled away, kicking at the hand around his ankle, he looked like a terrified soul caught by a zombie. “I’m sorry! I’ll never kick stones again! Let me go!”
The man raised his head weakly, trembling. “Food… I need… food…”
Jiang Bingren thought the man was about to eat him alive and nearly cried. He hurriedly shouted, “I own a restaurant! I have chicken, duck, fish, meat, whatever you want! Just don’t eat me! I’ll cook you a whole banquet!”
The man’s eyes lit up as he grabbed Jiang Bingren’s hands, excitement gleaming in his eyes. “A banquet?”
—
Before leaving Baihua Street, the rain had stopped. By the time Yu Jinnian returned to the noodle shop, the sky had darkened. The horizon was dyed a rich red, like a piece of scarlet silk. Ji Hong stood in the back courtyard, propping an umbrella under the eaves, his body still wet. After shaking off the water, he quietly entered the room.
Yu Jinnian followed closely behind, stepping on Ji Hong’s heels. He closed the door and leaned against the wall, carefully observing Ji Hong’s expression. Earlier, when he saw Ji Hong at the Jade Workshop, he had been surprised and happy, grateful for the thoughtful gesture of the umbrella in the rain. But it wasn’t until he set foot back in the noodle shop that he realized his secret had been exposed. After a while of silence, seeing Ji Hong say nothing, Yu Jinnian lowered his head and asked in a soft voice, “How did you know I was there? When did you find out?”
“Not long ago. Today, Duan Ming followed you the whole way,” Ji Hong replied, sitting at the table with an indifferent tone. He removed his soaked outer robe and replaced it with a dry one before finally glancing at Yu Jinnian. “Are you upset?”
“No.” Yu Jinnian pouted and moved a stool to sit in front of him. Hesitantly, he muttered, “Ah Hong, I made something for you…”
Before he could finish, Ji Hong stood up and took out a jar of hand salve from the small cabinet near the bed. He sat back down at the table. “Come here, let me see your hands.”
Yu Jinnian resisted, stepping back and hiding his hands behind his back, shaking his head frantically. It was obvious he was trying to hide something.
“Not coming over? Fine, then don’t move.”
Yu Jinnian lowered his gaze guiltily, but knowing Ji Hong didn’t like to get rough, he stubbornly refused to show his hands. A moment later, Ji Hong’s fingers slipped around his waist, loosening his waistband. Yu Jinnian’s eyes widened in shock as those pale fingers began peeling off his clothes layer by layer. He felt like a tender egg without a shell, exposed to the cold wind seeping through the cracks in the window.
Though the wind was cold, Yu Jinnian felt unbearably hot, like an ant on a hot pan, wriggling and squirming to escape.
Ji Hong pulled at the last tie on his clothing, and with a swoosh, Yu Jinnian couldn’t hold it in anymore. He quickly thrust his hands forward, fumbling to grab at his clothes, his face flushed. “Stop messing around…”
“Aren’t you the one who didn’t want to show your hands?” Ji Hong chuckled.
Yu Jinnian lowered his head in embarrassment, unable to lift it. Ji Hong didn’t push further; instead, he gently took the boy’s hand and inspected it. His hand was cold, with only a few fingers retaining some warmth, each one tender and reddened, like they might break at the slightest touch. Ji Hong ran his fingertips over each one, and Yu Jinnian let out a soft whimper, his fingers twitching slightly in response. Traces of jade dust still lingered between his fingers.
Yu Jinnian nervously tried to pull his hand back, but Ji Hong didn’t stop him. He simply grabbed his other hand and found it equally red and sensitive, with small cuts from the jade knife. The slightest touch made Yu Jinnian flinch and try to hide.
“Stop touching, it feels weird…” Yu Jinnian mumbled, feeling a bit timid.
“You know it hurts, yet you still did it.” Ji Hong lightly scolded him as he unscrewed the jar of hand salve. He scooped out a generous amount of the thick yellow ointment and spread it over Yu Jinnian’s hands, covering them in a thick layer. His fingers were now slick and shiny, nearly dripping with the salve. Ji Hong, still feeling concerned, gently massaged the boy’s fingers. “Does it hurt?”
“It doesn’t,” Yu Jinnian mumbled, even though it hurt terribly. His hands felt sore and swollen, but when he remembered the jade hairpin he had tucked away in his sleeve, the pain seemed less unbearable.
The two sat facing each other, one feeling guilty and the other feeling tender concern. Once the ointment had dried, Yu Jinnian shook his sleeve and pulled out the hairpin he had been working on for days. Just as he brought it out, he hesitated, swallowing hard. “Forget it, you probably won’t like something this cheap.”
He stood up to leave, but Ji Hong grabbed him, causing Yu Jinnian to flail around like a shrimp. Ji Hong had no choice but to pull him onto the bed. In the scuffle, one of them accidentally yanked the curtain cord, and the bed canopy fell, shrouding the room in darkness.
With his arms around Yu Jinnian, Ji Hong spoke in a low voice, “Since it’s for me, and I haven’t even seen it yet, how can you say forget it?”
Yu Jinnian, with no place left to escape, finally handed over the hairpin.
It was made of white jade, shaped like a bamboo stalk, but the pin itself wasn’t straight—it had a slight curve, likely a mistake from when he first started. The jade was pale with uneven spots of yellow-green, and there was a faint scratch running along its length. At the top was a peace knot, though it was unclear what material it was made of. The polishing had been done meticulously, and it was smooth and warm to the touch, as if it had absorbed the boy’s body heat from being tucked in his sleeve for so long.
This type of jade ornament would never have even made it through the gates of the Ji family estate.
Yu Jinnian anxiously watched Ji Hong’s expression, ready to snatch the hairpin back and toss it out if he saw the slightest hint of displeasure. But deep down, he desperately hoped Ji Hong would like it. He was torn, and in a small voice, he said, “I know the jade isn’t great, but it’s all I could afford right now. Later, when I—”
“I love it,” Ji Hong interrupted, immediately placing the hairpin in his hair.
“Huh?” Yu Jinnian stared, dumbfounded, half-disbelieving. “Really?”
Ji Hong laughed. “I’m wearing it, aren’t I? What do you think?”
Yu Jinnian, still kneeling obediently on the bed, glanced at Ji Hong and quickly lowered his gaze. His fingers, thick with salve, rubbed against each other, sending a tingling sensation straight to his heart. It hurt, but it was a sweet kind of pain, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, blooming like a flower. With his head down, he whispered softly, “I like it too…”
“Oh?” Ji Hong teased. “The hairpin is mine. What do you like?”
Yu Jinnian, feeling utterly blissful, missed the playful tone. He lowered his head further and snuggled into Ji Hong’s arms, replying with a single word: “You.”
The two fell back together, the night already dark outside with no one to disturb them. Ji Hong held the wriggling boy close, like a mother hen with her chick, trapping him in his arms. He warned, “You’ve been avoiding me for days. Do you think I didn’t notice? Now you owe me.”
Yu Jinnian, blushing furiously, buried himself under the covers, saying nothing.
Seeing that he had scared Yu Jinnian into behaving, Ji Hong finally relented. “But since your hands are injured, I’ll let it slide for now.”
Yu Jinnian peeked out from under the blanket, his bright eyes blinking at Ji Hong. Then, with a mischievous glint, he said, “My fingers hurt, but I still have my hands… and if that’s not enough, I can still…”
When he trailed off, Ji Hong was intrigued. “What?”
But Yu Jinnian quickly buried himself again, like a mole returning to its burrow, too embarrassed to continue. His muffled voice came from under the covers, “Nothing! I’m not telling you!”
The moon rose high in the sky, and the room finally grew quiet. Yu Jinnian, wearing only a light robe, jumped out of bed. Seeing that everyone else in the courtyard was asleep, he fetched water from the well, mixed it to a warm temperature in the kitchen, and brought it back to the room, pulling Ji Hong down to wash up with him.
Once they were clean, they remembered they hadn’t eaten dinner. So, they quickly made a simple bowl of clear soup noodles with a bit of fermented tofu. Sharing the meal, they ate it together, then washed up and went to bed.
On the table, the empty bowls sat beside the teacups. On the pillow, the jade hairpin lay next to the curved dagger.
The wind was calm, the water still, and the moonlight soft. Dew formed beneath the eaves, the ground still steamed with the remnants of the rain, and the world was utterly silent.
On the pillow, their dark hair intertwined, arms entangled in a deep, restful sleep.