AGJN 031: Time to Make a Name

Mr. Ma was hearing the Underworld envoy boast like this for the first time. He felt it was hard to criticize, but he didn’t know what to do. They didn’t want money, so did they want offerings instead?

Ying Shao, however, understood the envoy better and quickly figured out the situation. When he hosted the envoy, they didn’t use much incense or paper money. This envoy was a gourmet from the underworld.

He immediately said, “Incense and paper money are secondary. Our envoy loves to appreciate fine food. Mr. Ma, didn’t you bring that crooked-neck phoenix?”

“Oh, I see.” Mr. Ma thought this was quite unusual and quickly unwrapped part of the foil covering the roasted chicken, offering it up.

Though it wasn’t as hot as when it just came out of the oven, its golden, crispy appearance still gleamed with oil, making it very tempting. Mr. Ma was confident in his family’s recipe, “Our Ma family’s roasted chicken is tender and juicy, even the breast meat is flavorful and not dry. Before I took up this profession, we made a living by selling roasted chicken. Please, enjoy…”

Lan He’s eyes lit up and he immediately invited Song Futang to eat together.

“You go ahead, I’m not hungry,” Song Futang replied. He was still in a good mood, though the reason wasn’t something to share with outsiders.

He was telling the truth, but Ying Shao and Mr. Ma interpreted it differently. Ying Shao, seeing everything through a filter, believed the envoy and his colleague had a deep bond. Mr. Ma thought, when do Underworld envoys ever refuse money or act so politely unless they’re afraid to compete with the other?

—Even though the envoy hadn’t done much besides show off, seeing how the yellow spirit family was sitting so obediently, could a sneaky creature like that yellow spirit really submit so easily? Not even the celestial spirits on him could negotiate a win!

Though the envoy was putting on airs, there was still his colleague present, so Mr. Ma poured out all the paper money to burn for them.

Yu Hangjia joined in the burning. Although he couldn’t see Lan He, he noticed that Mr. Ma and the others were all looking in one direction, so he also said, “This is all the yellow paper we have right now. I’ll burn some more printed underworld currency for you next time.”

Not to mention that the envoy had saved them today, he was still an Impermanence, so they had to show some respect.

“There’s no need,” Mr. Ma said. “Actually, the printed currency isn’t that valuable down there. This yellow paper is actually better, especially when burned for ancestors. It’s more useful if it’s hand-cut by filial descendants!”

Yu Hangjia, who usually had others prepare the paper for him, was surprised to learn about this tradition and thought it was a mistake to follow trends, “Alright, I’ll remember that.”

“If he says he doesn’t want it, he really doesn’t. Scatter it for the spirits here instead.” The envoy truly had the demeanor of a master. He opened his fan, and the ash from the paper money scattered, truly dispersing the wealth.

Mr. Ma was shocked—he wasn’t just pretending to be generous. Could it be that the Eastern Peak Underworld was cracking down on corruption recently?

Lan He sat down to enjoy the roasted chicken. As long as he lifted his mask slightly, the aroma was absorbed by him.

The smell of the roasted chicken wafted through the air, and the eyes of the yellow spirit family were glued to it. Mr. Ma, with his celestial spirits, was reminded by Yu Hangjia and noticed that he was unconsciously drooling, quickly wiping his chin.

This roasted chicken was originally prepared for them…

The yellow spirit’s daughter couldn’t resist taking two steps forward, squatting down with her nose twitching, looking pitifully at the chicken. Her little chubby paws were clasped in front of her chest, and her tail wagged slowly, her beady eyes filled with longing.

The yellow spirit gulped, saying sadly, “When I was in the village, life was better, and we had plenty of chicken. Now, with all the burglar bars and lights everywhere, it’s a pity you can’t…”

As he spoke, he took off his melon skin hat and wiped his face.

Yu Hangjia was startled when the yellow spirit spoke in human language. He flinched but relaxed when he saw that everyone else was calm. In truth, the little yellow spirit was quite cute, even touching Yu Hangjia’s heart a bit.

The envoy glanced at the chicken and seemed genuinely moved, “Little one, you’ve never had chicken? That’s impossible, right?”

The yellow spirit’s daughter nodded, rubbing her soft, furry belly, looking up at Lan He with wide, sorrowful eyes.

Lan He sighed, “So pitiful. I’ll eat quickly then, so you won’t be sad watching.”

The yellow spirit family: “………………”

Everyone else: “……”

The yellow spirit’s daughter turned around and buried herself in her father’s arms.

Mr. Ma thought to himself, Underworld envoys really have no humanity.

Lan He commented, “It’s really delicious… Hmm? Are you going to continue your discussion?”

Everyone had been watching him.

The yellow spirit and Mr. Ma finally snapped out of it, giving up any hope that he would share.

Mr. Ma and Yu Hangjia discussed briefly. According to their customs, the Yu family had a long-standing grudge against the yellow spirits, so the best solution was to enshrine the yellow spirit as a household deity to resolve the century-old feud. However, if Yu Hangjia was unwilling, they would have to find another way to deal with the yellow spirits.

Technically, Yu Hangjia didn’t lack money, but considering how powerful this yellow spirit was… Even though yellow spirits are unpredictable, after some thought, he asked softly, “If he becomes a household deity, would he serve my family or the Yu family?”

Mr. Ma was taken aback, then replied quietly, “If your family hasn’t split off, he would serve the Yu family. But if you’re the one primarily responsible for the offerings, he’d naturally favor you. And if you split off later, he’d follow you.”

Yu Hangjia nodded, “Then I’ll trouble you, Mr. Ma, to negotiate. I’m willing to reconcile and welcome him as our household deity.”

Mr. Ma understood and asked the yellow spirit, “You should be the yellow spirit who has been cultivating on Shangxia Mountain for two hundred years, known as Melon Head Immortal, and you are here to seek revenge, correct?”

This was what the celestial spirits on him had found out.

Melon Head Immortal nodded and said, “That’s right.”

Mr. Ma felt relieved hearing this. Since Melon Head Immortal was willing to respond, it meant he was also inclined to become the household deity for the Yu family. Mr. Ma then asked, “Then shall I be your master, and you will settle in the Yu family as their household deity? Are you willing? From now on, you will receive incense and offerings through me, and I will live well thanks to your protection.”

Here, “mazi” refers to the disciple who takes up the spiritual practice, not the colloquial term for a girlfriend.

Household deities must join a certain sect. Usually, whoever has the celestial spirits that subdue them becomes their master, known as the Shixian. The Shixian leads them in their cultivation, and the disciple must recognize the Shixian as their master.

However, Melon Head Immortal shook his head and even said somewhat disdainfully, “You didn’t even beat me, so recognizing you as my master is absolutely impossible.”

Mr. Ma felt a bit embarrassed but couldn’t argue back. The negotiation had indeed been atypical, relying on outside help to suppress Melon Head Immortal. He hesitated, “…Then what do you propose?”

Melon Head Immortal chuckled, “If I were to take a master, I’d rather acknowledge the esteemed Lord Lai as my master.”

Mr. Ma was speechless. How could a household deity acknowledge an Underworld envoy as their master? It was illogical.

But Melon Head Immortal, with a sly smile, quickly added, “What’s the point of forming cliques? The Yu family is wealthy enough, they don’t need a master like you to back them up.”

Mr. Ma: “…”

Melon Head Immortal’s words, though blunt, weren’t without reason, leaving Mr. Ma in silence.

“What’s with all the talk about taking a master? You still want to latch onto me?” Lan He said, eating the roasted chicken made by Mr. Ma. “I think you should acknowledge Mr. Ma. Saying you weren’t defeated, well, I think his character is far better than yours.”

Melon Head Immortal shouted, “That’s easy to say, but whose character isn’t better than mine?”

Lan He: “…”

Everyone: “…………”

Wow, what a shameless yellow spirit.

At that moment, Mr. Ma even thought that maybe letting him acknowledge Lord Lai as his master was the right thing to do. Only a heartless figure like Lord Lai could control such a brazen character as Melon Head.

Melon Head Immortal’s eyes shifted, “But since Lord Lai is introducing me, of course, I’m willing. Fine, I’ll acknowledge him.”

It was truly fortunate that Lord Lai was there. Mr. Ma said, “Then… Mr. Yu, you can choose a time to set up the shrine and establish a plaque for Melon Head Immortal. We can discuss the details later. For now, we should focus on dealing with the logo and your ancestor’s gravesite.”

There were many steps involved in welcoming a new household deity, not just preparing the plaque, but also writing the formal document, and so on. It wasn’t something they could rush here.

Melon Head Immortal obediently rummaged under his tail and pulled out a small paper dragon. Yu Hangjia saw it and quietly muttered to himself.

This paper was clearly part of the original logo design that had always been kept in a bank safe. He hadn’t even thought to check on it, but it seemed that, without anyone noticing, it had fallen into Melon Head Immortal’s hands. Could the original design have been damaged?

Wait, Melon Head Immortal needed to return it. If it could be removed, maybe it could be perfectly restored. Yu Hangjia began to hope.

Melon Head Immortal blew on the small paper dragon and recited a spell, “Go!”

The paper dragon turned to ashes and scattered.

Yu Hangjia was stunned and quickly took out his phone to check the official website. His joy was unmistakable: “…It’s back!”

The dragon in the logo had indeed returned, something even experts couldn’t solve, was now fixed.

A huge weight lifted off Yu Hangjia’s shoulders.

…

Since the gravesite of Yu Hangjia’s great-grandfather had been damaged, even though Melon Head Immortal had been subdued, Mr. Ma still suggested they immediately open the grave, retrieve the bones, and choose an auspicious day for reburial.

“But we might need to bring in a geomancer for the relocation. I’m not very knowledgeable in that area,” Mr. Ma admitted honestly and then asked Ying Shao, “Do you know how to do it?”

Ying Shao also shook his head.

In reality, they weren’t entirely clueless, but in Beijing, the business of serving the underworld was quite specialized. Mr. Ma had little involvement in this aspect, and the celestial spirits he had were also not skilled in it.

Lan He, having eaten their roasted chicken, wanted to finish the matter quickly, and said, “I can do it. If you want to retrieve the bones now, I’ll tell you how.”

He had previously helped his grandfather retrieve bones from the family’s old graves, and back then, it was still a burial in earth. The coffin had decayed, and they had to search for bones in the mud. In short, he knew the old customs.

Melon Head Immortal fawned, “People who’ve died are different. If you need it, we can retrieve bones for Lord Lai and show our filial piety.”

Lan He: “…”

Lan He: “…It’s not your place to be a filial descendant. This needs to be done by direct relatives.”

Seeing that time was running short, Yu Hangjia realized they had to retrieve the bones at night. He immediately called his father to report the return of the logo and mentioned the need to retrieve bones. After getting his father’s consent, he arranged for a coffin to be delivered and asked for a new set of clothes to be brought…

Yu Hangjia’s father, along with his other children, hurried over. Although the matter had been left to Yu Hangjia, such a significant event as relocating a grave required his presence.

They knew that Yu Hangjia had managed to resolve the issue, and though each of them had their own thoughts, as long as Father Yu was satisfied, that was what mattered. He had already checked and confirmed that the dragon on the logo had indeed returned.

“Didn’t expect it to be resolved so quickly?” On the way, Yu Hangjia’s younger brother muttered.

Father Yu, with a stern face, replied, “What, you think it was too slow?” This involved their grandfather’s grave and the Yu family’s fortune, yet his son was still focused on petty competition with his older brother.

“No,” the younger brother quickly said, “I was just thinking, which master was so capable? Master Budong refused to help, and I was worried.”

Father Yu remained silent. Indeed, they didn’t know which master had solved the issue this time; it was all handled by Yu Hangjia.

When they arrived at the cemetery, they saw that many people were already there, with all the necessary items, including a coffin, having been brought in. The most peculiar sight, however, was the four yellow yellow spirits—two large and two small—sitting calmly on the coffin.

“Elder Brother, these creatures are…”

“Be careful with your words,” Yu Hangjia said sternly. “This is our household deity now—Melon Head Immortal.”

In the past, if a yellow spirit was found perched on a grave, it would have been considered a bad omen. But now, Melon Head Immortal sitting there meant he was guarding the family’s coffin. Despite past grievances, having been “negotiated” into submission and becoming the household deity, he would now fulfill his duties.

Father Yu, understanding the customs, though finding the name “Melon Head Immortal” somewhat odd, still glared at his youngest son and then led them in offering incense to Melon Head Immortal.

Melon Head Immortal sat proudly atop the coffin, his red-glowing eyes surveying the Yu family, making them all feel a bit uneasy. The gaze of a yellow spirit could be quite sinister. Fortunately, nothing happened.

“And, Dad, these are the ones who helped me with everything this time—Mr. Ying and Mr. Ma,” Yu Hangjia introduced Ying Shao first, considering his deep connection with Lord Lai. “Tonight was extremely dangerous. We are especially grateful to Mr. Ying. The yellow spirit, who had a grudge against our great-grandfather, invaded the ancestral grave, disrupting our family’s feng shui. Now, however, the weasel family has agreed to accept my offerings, and the little dragon has been returned.”

Yu Hangjia’s siblings exchanged looks, understanding Yu Hangjia’s intentions. They had all heard of household deities, often sought by rural families to ensure an ample supply of necessities, but this one clearly possessed extraordinary abilities, causing a national sensation. Their elder brother might have turned misfortune into fortune.

Ying Shao, inwardly overjoyed, barely managed to maintain his composed, masterly demeanor, nodding slightly, and couldn’t resist giving Lord Lai some credit, “I’m humbled, it was all thanks to Lord Lai’s protection.”

Yu Hangjia nodded repeatedly, “Of course! It’s an honor that Lord Lai was willing to guide the ceremony!”

Yu Hangjia’s siblings whispered among themselves, wondering who exactly this “Lord Lai” was—a popular deity or perhaps one of the celestial spirits Yu Hangjia worshipped?

Yu Hangjia gestured to Ying Shao’s left and respectfully introduced, “This is Lord Lai’s colleague, an Underworld Envoy!”

Although he couldn’t see Lan He, he introduced him based on where Ying Shao had spoken earlier.

Everyone was astonished, even Father Yu widened his eyes slightly. The Underworld Envoy might not be the most famous deity, but because of his direct association with death, he commanded a certain reverence.

The entire group looked towards that direction with expressions of awe and nervousness, even though they couldn’t see anything. After all, it was the Underworld Envoy…

Lan He, who had already moved to the right: “…………”

Ying Shao and Mr. Ma hesitated but felt it might be unwise to embarrass Yu Hangjia in front of his family.

Lan He urged, “Enough, let’s get on with it. The bones must not see daylight!”

This meant the process had to be carried out after dark and completed before dawn.

Because the deceased had been buried long ago, a small coffin was used, only about 1.3 meters long, in bright red, with red cloth lining the interior.

First, they burned incense and candles. After the Yu family members paid their respects according to their ranks, they began to open the grave, with Yu Hangjia’s two younger brothers holding umbrellas to shield the coffin.

When the coffin was opened, they saw that the bones inside were scattered and tangled, truly a chaotic mess, as if someone had tossed them into a lottery machine for half an hour.

The Yu family members turned pale. They knew the yellow spirit had caused havoc—after all, the dragon from the logo had escaped, and they had even seen the yellow spirit perched on the coffin—but this was a visceral shock.

“Gather the bones into the coffin,” Ying Shao conveyed Lan He’s instructions, “starting from the head to the feet, in proper order. Not a single bone should be missing.”

This task had to be done by direct relatives. Since Father Yu was older, Yu Hangjia steeled himself and approached the coffin, using a pair of red bamboo chopsticks to search for the skull in the pile of bones.

The skull was the easiest to find, but when Yu Hangjia finally uncovered it, he noticed that the skull was missing its top. After searching through the bones for a long time without finding it, sweat began to bead on his forehead, “It seems that the top of the skull is missing…”

The coffin had been well-sealed, and although the bones were in disarray, the loss of a piece seemed inexplicable. He couldn’t help but glance at Melon Head Immortal.

Lan He suddenly recalled something and exchanged a look with Song Futang.

Song Futang said, “It might be…”

Lan He said, “Possibly…”

Could it be the piece that had scared him earlier?

Lan He glanced at Melon Head Immortal, who sheepishly scratched his face, then jumped down from the coffin and ran off in the direction from earlier. Lan He said, “…Please wait.”

“Huh? W-wait!” Ying Shao quickly relayed to the anxious Yu family.

They watched as the yellow spirit ran off and returned holding a piece of the skull, which he handed to Yu Hangjia. Yu Hangjia, his scalp tingling, used the chopsticks to take the piece from the yellow spirit and fit it back into place, perfectly.

“It seems that was the piece the yellow spirit took out to play with earlier,” Ying Shao explained, making the Yu family extremely uncomfortable. Although they had reached an agreement with Melon Head Immortal, this scene was still quite disturbing.

The bones were carefully collected and placed inside the small coffin, forming a complete skeleton. To prevent the vertebrae from scattering, they were tied together with yellow thread. Once paper money and incense were added, the coffin could be sealed.

Reburial in a new location required choosing another auspicious day, and during the transfer, incense had to be burned to guide the way.

“All done. Now, you just need to pick a lucky day to take the coffin to the new burial site,” Lan He said.

“Thank you, Lord Lai,” Mr. Ma and Ying Shao led the others in bowing and expressing their gratitude, burning incense to send off the two Underworld Envoys.

Lan He and Song Futang left, walking on the smoke as they departed.

With no more than half an hour left before dawn, Melon Head Immortal also stood up from the coffin, nodded to Yu Hangjia, and then, with his family, scurried off into the trees.

Yu Hangjia somehow understood the meaning behind Melon Head Immortal’s gesture—an acknowledgment that their agreement had been sealed, reminding him not to forget to formally welcome him into the household. Now, they too needed to leave.

As Yu Hangjia watched them leave, his vision blurred, and he thought he saw a man in a melon cap and long robe, walking through the forest with his wife and two small children. When he turned to ask if anyone else had seen it, the figures were gone, and the yellow spirits had disappeared.

The matter was nearly resolved, with only some final details to wrap up.

Ying Shao suddenly remarked, “The dragon has returned; I wonder what the netizens will say.”

Mr. Ma, who hadn’t been familiar with Ying Shao earlier, now smiled and said, “Mr. Ying, you’re quite impressive.”

It was clear from his words that Mr. Ma now acknowledged Ying Shao.

Ying Shao responded, “…You’re too kind.”

At that moment, Ying Shao had a strong premonition: I’m about to make a name for myself…

No, to be more accurate, Lord Lai would make a name for himself through Mr. Ma’s words among those who dealt with underworld matters in Beijing. The logo issue had caused quite a stir, and now it had been resolved in his hands.

With Lord Lai backing him, his own status would surely rise as well!

Thinking about the prospect of a better future, Ying Shao was filled with excitement and resolved to prepare a grand feast to thank Lord Lai in the future. As for now, he turned to Mr. Ma and asked, “Do you still want the roasted chicken? It’s been a while since I’ve had grilled gluten…”

Mr. Ma: “Huh??”

…

As Lan He and Song Futang left the cemetery, Song Futang was still leading the small limping donkey. Lan He crafted a new tag for it, which the donkey playfully shook.

Seeing this, Lan He recalled how Song Futang had used the talisman to calm the donkey. He fiddled with the paper tag, his mind churning with thoughts.

His grandfather had always advised him never to cross the boundary between the living and the dead lightly.

Previously, Lan He had felt a sense of melancholy over not being able to reveal his true identity to friends he made in this form. Today, he had the urge to get to know the living world’s Song Futang better.

But now, Lan He asked himself, could he do it? For the first time in his life, he wondered if he could trust someone enough to share his secret.

He glanced at Song Futang’s profile, illuminated by the faint dawn light, with the golden fish talisman standing out brightly. Though made of pure gold, it didn’t look garish on him, but rather, it added a certain charm.

Lan He hesitantly asked, “If I’ve been keeping some things from you, would you mind?”

Song Futang responded, “What?”

Lan He wasn’t sure how to begin. He was still struggling with whether this was the right time to confess.

Song Futang misunderstood and said, “If you’re worried, and don’t want to take off your mask, there’s no need to force yourself. Just go with the flow.”

Lan He was momentarily stunned, touching his mask, then realized that Song Futang might have misunderstood. Was he thinking that Lan He was disfigured or perhaps had some tragic condition that left a deep psychological scar?

But Song Futang’s words touched him deeply. Though he was talking about the mask, Lan He could see Song Futang’s mindset.

At that moment, a loud rooster crow echoed through the cemetery: “Cock-a-doodle-doo—”

Looking in that direction, they saw a large yellow rooster, with a cloth tied around its leg.

“Is that the rooster for guiding souls?” Lan He speculated, “It seems like it’s calling for you.”

Song Futang nodded, indeed feeling a sense of urgency. He looked at Lan He questioningly, as it seemed like Lan He had more to say but wasn’t speaking up.

Although he wanted to learn more about Lan He, he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Who knew what hardships Lan He might have faced before or after his death… Song Futang often wondered what kind of experiences could make a ghost as cheerful as Lan He so reluctant to show his true face.

He even guessed that his own attachment to the donkey might have made Lan He uneasy.

With a serious expression, Song Futang said, “When you feel completely at ease, you can tell me whatever it is, no matter what it is. After all, I’ve had my share of bad luck, and it’s not like we won’t meet again.”

Lan He was amused, “Alright then.”

His words eased Lan He’s mind and touched him even more. Inwardly, he thought, next time, when we meet again, perhaps I’ll have found the answer.

---

Author’s Note:

Song Futang: Don’t ask, if you do, you’ll regret it.