Outside the North Garden.
The eerie children’s song that had played earlier sent chills down the spines of passersby, many of whom stopped to record videos and share them on social media.
“Children’s songs coming from the North Garden after it was closed! Creepy nighttime singing—this is terrifying! Good thing I went to the temple for charms yesterday. Let’s keep boldly watching.”
It wasn’t even midnight yet, but saying it was made the story sound spookier. Besides, it was already dark.
[??? Is this really the North Garden? What are they doing? So creepy.]
[Run!!]
[Bro, aren’t you scared? Just watching the video makes my legs weak.]
[What’s going on with these people guarding the area? Could they have found treasure? Didn’t they say Emperor Chongzhen buried treasure somewhere? Rumors said it was at Meishan, but maybe that was a cover, and it’s actually here?]
[What’s happening in the capital lately? ORZ. Has feng shui gone awry? I feel like going to burn incense too.]
After the song stopped, there were loud splashes from within, accompanied by the ear-piercing sound of electrical static from the speakers.
“Holy crap, I’ve got goosebumps. What’s happening in there?”
“What the heck is it?” Some people tried to peek over the barricades, only to be stopped by the plainclothes officers guarding the perimeter, adding to the mystery.
Later, the park issued a statement claiming it was nighttime mechanical testing and water drainage. However, this failed to explain the presence of so many guards, fueling more speculation and making the legends surrounding the North Garden even more rampant.
Even the officer in charge of security was growing anxious. “This commotion… what’s inside? Is it really that hard to subdue? Will it go smoothly?”
…
Meanwhile, inside the North Garden.
A massive black serpent thrashed violently in the water, sending waves several meters high crashing against the shore. Its movements were far more chaotic than Chang Yueyuan’s earlier disturbance. It roared, “Audacious Warden! How dare you humiliate me like this!!”
Infuriating! He had tolerated being called “Liu Four” before. Even “Liu Five” had almost slipped by when everyone referred to Bai Wu (Bai Sect’s fifth) as “Old Five.” Thankfully, he had restrained himself!
Old Bai, scrambling for his life, narrowly dodged the serpent’s tail with a roll. “Why can’t you take a joke?”
Lan He: “…”
…Could Old Bai even speak like a normal person? How was he so naturally sarcastic to his very core?
Upon hearing this, the black serpent became even angrier and lunged.
“Forget it. Let him hit Old Bai for a while. He deserves it,” Lan He said, standing on the shore with a massive convenience store sun umbrella in hand. Everyone else, including the immortals, huddled under the umbrella, protected from the spray.
Together, they watched the spectacle on the lake.
Liu 13’s exceptional reflexes allowed him to coil his tail tightly around Old Bai.
Old Bai panicked. “Damn it! What do you want? Payback? Are you going to become Lan He’s dad now?”
Lan He: “…”
The black serpent froze for a moment, finding the logic somewhat convincing. But… how could he possibly become Lan He’s dad?!
Did this mean he had to let it slide?
Seeing Old Bai’s smug, lifeless face, Liu 13, overcome with embarrassment and rage, slammed Old Bai into the ground repeatedly. “Die already!!!”
Old Bai, long dead in the literal sense, locked eyes with Lan He, who was still holding the umbrella. “Help…”
Before he could finish, he was dragged off again by the serpent’s tail.
Liu 13 had already landed several hits. Old Bai’s muffled sounds probably meant he was asking for help. Lan He stepped forward to mediate. “Stop, stop, no need to keep hitting him. He’ll just do it again next time anyway.”
Old Bai: “…”
Liu 13 fumed. “Dragging me into this whole ‘son’ thing was bad enough, but making me the youngest?”
Old Bai wanted to retort that there was already a new youngest now, but this didn’t feel like the best time to provoke him further.
Meanwhile, Chang Yueyuan seemed oddly content. She had thought she was having the worst day, but…
Lan He, puzzled, asked, “Wait a second. Are you upset about being made a son, or about not being made the eldest son?”
Liu 13: “What do you think?!”
Lan He: “Look, it’s just something they said. As long as you don’t acknowledge it in your heart, it doesn’t matter. Doesn’t the Liu Sect train in cultivating discipline and self-control?”
That struck a nerve. Beating up Old Bai like this was indeed against the Liu Sect’s usual principles of restraint.
Liu 13 glanced at Old Bai, then tossed him aside with a warning: “Call me that again, and you’ll get another beating.”
“I won’t, I won’t,” Old Bai muttered, slinking over to Lan He’s feet. He glanced at Chang Yueyuan, who was curled up nearby, and asked, “So, are we taking Little Six back with us?”
Liu 13 bent down, his serpent eyes locking onto Old Bai. “You—”
Old Bai, indignant, protested, “I wasn’t talking about you! I was just casually calling her that.”
Liu 13’s voice turned icy. “Don’t think I can’t figure it out. If she’s Little Six, then who’s Five?”
“It’s definitely not you,” Old Bai replied innocently.
Liu 13: “…”
Old Bai added, “Oh, by the way, doesn’t Lan He and Little Song have an engagement token? That thing around their necks says ‘001.’ What about that?”
Liu 13 fell into deep thought.
Lan He broke into a cold sweat. Was it really that easy to fool him?
Liu 13 slowly looked up. “You two have an engagement token? Let me see it.”
—Hu 79, who loved storytelling, hadn’t known about this detail. But ghost wardens like Old Bai and Yan San, who had been on-site, were privy to it.
Lan He hesitated. “…How about this? When we get home, before bed, let Song Futan tell you the whole story.”
Liu 13’s eyes brightened. “Alright, alright!”
Everyone else: “…”
As for Chang Yueyuan, Lan He glanced at the battered silver serpent, bruised and swollen from the beatings. “We’ll bring this one back, too. The matter isn’t resolved yet, and we’ll wait until everything’s clear.”
Chang Yueyuan immediately wailed, “I don’t want to leave!”
A dragon belonged in the sea. Staying at someone’s house? Ridiculous. Their lineage had never been house spirits. Even when Liu Sect members acted as house guardians, they preferred perching on trees outside the house.
But no one paid attention to her protests. Instead, they urged her to retrieve the souls from her snake lair.
The tourists were still conscious but terrified. Seeing the black-and-white wardens, they thought their time had come. The motionless monk, however, seemed utterly blank. Lan He frowned as he questioned him, receiving no response.
Had he really been knocked senseless?
The tourists were a family who had come together. Holding hands, they wept as they awaited their fate. Lan He, focused on the monk, left Hu 79 to console them. “Don’t worry. We’ll send you back.”
A half-tailed fox speaking human words did little to reassure them; instead, it deepened their despair.
“Hmm? It’s fine. I’m here on someone’s behalf to summon souls.” Only then did Lan He remember the family. He pulled out a few paper horses, tossed them on the ground, and they instantly came to life. “Hop on.”
The paper horses stood ready, their forms stable and lifelike.
“Who sent you?” an older woman asked before stepping forward.
Lan He was momentarily stunned. He casually said that this matter was about the family of the unconscious person offering a reward. Master Budong initially took the case but lost his soul, so Lan He stepped in, dressed as an emissary of the afterlife. Since it was difficult to explain and Lan He wasn’t interested in the reward, he brushed it off, saying, “Your family. Quickly, go back.”
“Our entire family is here. Which distant relative are you referring to? Are you very close?” The few people, seemingly unaware of any relative being a spiritual practitioner, kept pressing.
Lan He simply waved the soul-returning fan and said, “Stop talking, calm your minds, and on the way, if anyone calls your name, do not respond!”
The paper horse raised its hooves and galloped away. Lan He said, “Let’s go. We’ll escort the master back.”
…
Siming hadn’t expected them to act so swiftly. The group, who had initially thought the esteemed Liu Sect could handle the abbot, had only brought back a battered female snake demon.
To avoid trouble, Lan He and the others personally escorted Master Budong back and returned his soul to his body.
Master Budong coughed twice and slowly regained consciousness.
“Master?” Siming held Master Budong’s hand, helped him up, and gave him water.
While Siming busied himself, Song Futan noticed something strange in the master’s expression. “Master? Are you okay?”
No response.
“Huh, what’s this?” Old Bai stepped forward and checked. “The soul isn’t damaged, so why can’t he speak?”
If the soul were injured, Old Bai would have noticed during the soul state earlier—basic competence for an emissary of the afterlife.
But Master Budong’s soul was intact.
Chang Yueyuan interjected, “I hit him earlier. He hasn’t recovered yet.”
No one paid her any attention.
Lan He even speculated, “Could he have Alzheimer’s? The master is quite elderly.”
Alzheimer’s, commonly referred to as senile dementia.
But the onset seemed too sudden. The last time they saw the master, he was sharp and physically robust.
Even Old Bai, after examining him, said there was no physical ailment.
It was baffling. Could Chang Yueyuan really have struck Master Budong into a stupor?
First Lady Hu sneered, her fingernails digging into her palms. “Monks observe people as if looking into fire. Perhaps he discovered something about Chang Yueyuan, which led to this state.”
Lan He couldn’t help but nod. He had witnessed Master Budong’s keen insight before.
But if that were true, it pointed to something deliberate—no coincidence, no random environmental or geomantic influence, but someone pulling the strings.
“What?” Old Bai was puzzled, having arrived late and missed the earlier discussions.
Lan He explained it to him. From Liu 13 to Chang 15, the so-called greenhouse effect resembled a subtle obfuscation of truth, a barely perceptible hint that blurred their awakening process.
As Old Bai listened, his expression grew increasingly grave. Finally, he asked, “Do you know why I was late today?”
Lan He replied, “Weren’t you handling affairs in the underworld?”
Every emissary of the afterlife had their own jurisdiction and was often swamped with work. That was why Lan He, a temporary emissary, was roped in to help.
“The last time Shui Yue escaped, we suspected she had calculated the rare opportunity of the night demon’s arrival. But after capturing her, a ghost guard inadvertently discovered that, having been confined for so long, she had no sense of time. How could she have calculated it?” Old Bai explained. “So the underworld assigned me to pretend to be her past lover to extract a confession. It was confirmed that she had no concept of years while imprisoned. I asked her how she knew to escape at that time. She said there was no particular reason—just a feeling that she could. Once outside, she discovered the night demon.”
“But she deliberately fled to the capital. When Lord Fan and Lord Xie pursued her, she fought back fiercely, as if she had a solid backing, didn’t she?”
At that time, it was the end of the gathering of suppressive objects. When Shui Yue caused a disturbance, First Lady Hu even descended halfway through, and since it was Ghost Month, no one ever doubted anything.
The sense of being unaware of time yet vaguely influenced by suggestion felt strangely familiar.
Moreover, the suppressive objects could not suppress things in the underworld; Shui Yue had escaped directly from the underworld.
Chang Yueyuan bluntly remarked, “Losing one’s mind without a trace—are you sure it wasn’t a fox demon’s doing?”
In her view, fox demons were masters of such tricks.
Everyone fell silent.
Lan He said, exasperated, “Don’t tell me Hu Si still has the energy to stir up trouble. First Miss, can you go back and beat her up a billion more times?” Although with Hu Si’s slippery nature, it probably wouldn’t yield much.
Chang Yueyuan suddenly shrank back a bit.
Old Bai said, “Although the underworld found this suspicious, since Shui Yue is already back in custody and manpower is scarce, they merely strengthened defenses and alerted emissaries in each district. But if this is the case, I fear I must report it again—it cannot just end here.” The underworld wasn’t an impenetrable place. Known as the cycle of life and death, humans, ghosts, gods, and demons all traversed it. Sometimes, someone would even try to wreak havoc there. Without surveillance, it was hard to trace who Shui Yue might have come into contact with.
First Lady Hu also had to report this to Miaogan Mountain.
Lan He suggested, “For now, how about this: see if there are any elders skilled in medicine who can treat Master Budong. If not, send him to the hospital for observation. You should report this incident to the higher-ups, but remember not to spread it publicly. Also…” Lan He paused. “I think we could seek out Wang Lili. Perhaps he might provide some insights to help us.”
Everyone: “…”
Damn, that actually makes sense.
Even First Lady Hu had to admit that while the police might not understand the underworld, their approach could provide useful perspectives.
Master Budong sat dazed on the bed, able to eat and drink but seemingly devoid of self-awareness. At that moment, he had lost all his wisdom and radiance, appearing like an ordinary old man.
Before leaving, Lan He sat by the bed with Song Futan, watching Siming feed him.
“Let’s go.” Song Futan let go of Master Budong’s hand, his expression somber.
Lan He and Master Budong had been recognized by the old monk as intergenerational friends. He also knew that Song Futan had long been under Master Budong’s care. Even though Song Futan refused to become a monk, Master Budong’s teachings and assistance made him akin to a master.
Lan He had no words to comfort Song Futan. All he could say was, “I’ll go find Wang Lili right away!”
…
“Big case! Lily, this is your chance,” Lan He told Wang Lili.
Wang Lili jumped in surprise because Lan He hadn’t come alone in the dream—everyone was there. The dream was unusually lively.
“W-what is it?” Wang Lili cautiously asked. “Is another artifact stolen?”
“It’s more serious than that. Let me explain.” Lan He grabbed Wang Lili and recounted the current situation. “You know about the suppressive objects, right? The problem is, we’ve found several cases that have nothing to do with them…”
After explaining, he asked, “Do you have any suggestions for solving the case?”
Wang Lili scratched his head. “Judging from Master Budong’s situation, this indeed doesn’t seem to be a natural phenomenon. It could be man-made. Who could be so demented? Do you have any suspects?”
Everyone’s expressions turned a bit awkward.
The Four Great Clans were known as the “petty gods among immortals.” In northern China, if you were talking about “demented”…
First Lady Hu clarified, “The issue here isn’t humans. In the underworld, there are too many entities whose actions would seem demented by human standards. Beijing is a hidden haven for extraordinary beings, filled with reclusive ancients—uh, significant entities. We can’t limit the scope like this. For example, if a dragon suddenly decided to play and dragged everyone along, it wouldn’t necessarily be considered demented.”
Furthermore, it wasn’t yet clear whether the looseness of the suppressive objects came first, the manipulative entity emerged first, or if the two existed concurrently.
Wang Lili: “…………”
Fair enough, such reasoning doesn’t apply here. Wang Lili said, “You don’t have big data, no surveillance, no communications records—it seems you’ll have to rely on traditional investigative methods. Given the lack of information, grid-based searching or exhaustive investigation could actually work well. Can you gather more cases for analysis? Previously, the Liu 13 incident was obscured by the suppressive objects’ influence. A comprehensive review to isolate and parallelize judgments would be better.”
“That makes sense. Let’s backtrack and re-examine the strange events in Beijing over the past two years,” Lan He noted. “We’ll just come up with an excuse, saying the underworld needs to build archives and question those spiritual practitioners and immortals.”
This approach required a lot of groundwork and was very down-to-earth. Detective work in reality relied heavily on data, unlike the stories of brilliant sleuths.
Given how little they knew now, borrowing this method was the best they could do.
“Thanks. Oh, and make sure to replenish the stock. We’re heading out now.”
Toolman Wang Lili: “…”
…
A water snake, as the name implies, lives in water.
Song Futan’s house had no pond, nor a swimming pool. It did have a bathtub, but surely they couldn’t let Chang Yueyuan live in the master bathroom’s tub?
Chang Yueyuan looked troubled. She was, after all, the current North Sea Dragon King, once commanding a rare stretch of sea near Beijing. Now she was confined to this place. If only she could beat these people…
Hu 79 quipped, “Why fuss? Just give her a foot basin.”
Chang Yueyuan: “!!”
Lan He: “Uh, maybe not. She’s mildly venomous.”
But Lan He truly wasn’t in the mood to figure out proper accommodations for Chang Yueyuan. This snake was supposed to be a temporary guest—unless they never managed to solve the case. He opened one of the kitchen sinks and said, “Just stay here.”
Chang Yueyuan glanced at it. “You’re joking, right???”
Lan He: “I know you guys can transform your shape.”
Chang Yueyuan: But that’s not meant for degrading ourselves!!
She wanted to argue further, but Lan He threatened, “Want another beating?”
Chang Yueyuan: “…”
Her crimson, lantern-like eyes glared at Lan He with resentment. Imagine—a dignified Dragon King…
Hu 79, peering into the kitchen, said loftily, “You just woke up, so you might not know our master here is a notorious scoundrel in Beijing. Best not to cross him.”
Lan He: “…Come here.”
Lan He reiterated the rules to the household spirits. The matter had to remain confidential for now. Soon, they would need to go out and investigate, especially keeping an eye on Liu 13, who shouldn’t be carelessly tricked into revealing anything.
Of course, when phrasing this, Lan He used the term “innocent and pure.”
Liu 13 pondered this for a while. “Innocent and pure” didn’t seem to match his image, but it wasn’t exactly an insult either…
“This dragon gets it.”
The group gathered, with Lan He lighting incense as he crouched. “Eat and discuss.”
A single match lit the incense, its smoke curling upwards. The small spirits seemed to bask in bliss.
In the haze of smoke, two red lights appeared. Lan He looked over to see Chang Yueyuan glaring at them. She had crawled out of the sink, transformed into human form, and was leaning weakly against the kitchen door.
Lan He noticed her fierce gaze, likely holding a grudge against him. Although she probably couldn’t stir much trouble anymore, he still barked, “What are you looking at!”
Chang Yueyuan hissed in fright—a sharp “sss”—momentarily reverting to her snake form before quickly changing back. Her blood-red eyes seemed to drip crimson. Despite being beaten numerous times, Chang Yueyuan, from the ruthless Liu sect, still looked defiant.
“Listen up!!” Chang Yueyuan said.
Lan He: “Hm?”
The other household spirits squinted, glancing at her sideways.
Chang Yueyuan glared at Lan He, then suddenly dropped to her knees with a loud “bang,” breaking two ceramic tiles. Her expression fierce, she declared, “Within the time it takes to drink a cup of tea, I will acknowledge you as my father!!”
Lan He: “………………”
Author’s Note:
Old Bai – Bai Ruyi, Hu 79 – Hu Xiren, Bai Wu – Bai Zhixian, Chang 15 – Chang Yueyuan. First Lady Hu and Liu 13 remain unnamed for now because I haven’t come up with anything yet, haha.