Crispy and fragrant, with a fiery red skin—how delicious!
Because of the change of location, Yu Jinnian didn’t sleep well. In the middle of the night, he couldn’t help but worry about Min Xuefei, checking on him every hour. He tossed and turned until the latter half of the night, only settling down when he felt someone next to him in bed. When he wrapped his leg around them and received a response, the faint scent of fabric calmed his nerves, allowing him to gradually fall into a deep sleep.
The sun had yet to rise, but Lian Zhi’s years of habit woke him up early. Outside, a young eunuch tiptoed in, offering a set of clean clothes and a basin of water to assist him with washing up.
To avoid disturbing someone, Lian Zhi went to the warm chamber nearby before beginning to wash and change. The young eunuch serving him was deft and quick, understanding exactly what needed to be done without a word from Lian Zhi—so much like how Lian Zhi used to be back in the day.
With his head lowered, Lian Zhi appeared unrested, slipping his hands into the sleeves of his robe. Droplets of water still glistened on his cheeks. As the young eunuch straightened his clothing, he softly said, “Yesterday, the Grand Supervisor asked why you didn’t go back to sleep.”
Lian Zhi said nothing but kept his ears tuned for any sound coming from the inner room, worried that Min Xuefei might wake up with no one to attend him. The young eunuch circled behind him to straighten his belt, blocking Lian Zhi’s backward view. Only then did Lian Zhi lower his gaze and shoot the eunuch a displeased glance.
Yet the eunuch persisted, chit-chatting and probing, saying, “Little Supervisor, when I was serving the Grand Supervisor last night, he mentioned that the supervisor at the Imperial Supplies Bureau…” He pinched his little finger, implying that the eunuch in charge had offended Feng Jian and wouldn’t last long. “So, there’s an open position, and it’s unlikely anyone will fill it soon. The Grand Supervisor said that Little Supervisor Lian could take over for a month or two.”
The Imperial Supplies Bureau was a place of great importance. All tools, ornaments, and materials—gold, silver, incense, purple sandalwood, glass, and ivory—passed through its inventory. The hairpins, gowns, and silk screens used by the palace ladies mostly originated there. The wealth skimmed during production was beyond measure. Even when the expenses “accidentally” ran high, one could always blame the complexity of the craft. Let alone the annual tributes from subordinates, which were enough to make anyone jealous.
As he spoke, the young eunuch glanced at Lian Zhi’s reaction.
This juicy role was offered to Lian Zhi without hesitation. It must be said that Feng Jian truly favored his adopted son. Whenever a lucrative or important position arose, he always thought of Lian Zhi first. Only when Lian Zhi declined would others scramble for it. Because of this, there had been countless internal struggles in the Imperial Household Directorate over the years. People eyed Lian Zhi like hungry wolves, desperate to seize any slip-up to replace him and become Feng Jian’s “favored son.”
But after so many years, Lian Zhi remained in his position. No one had managed to bring him down, leading to sordid rumors about his relationship with the old eunuch.
The young eunuch smoothed out the wrinkles on his back, hinting, “Little Supervisor, you’re working so hard. Be careful not to overextend yourself. After all, that gentleman inside… he has nothing to do with us.”
The eunuch was implying that the Min family would never align themselves with Feng Jian. Lian Zhi’s efforts were purely wasted.
The young eunuch didn’t understand. With Lian Zhi’s status, he only needed to serve the Emperor and Feng Jian well. When the Grand Supervisor eventually retired, wouldn’t the Imperial Household Directorate fall into Lian Zhi’s lap? Why waste time currying favor with Min Xuefei, who clearly looked down on him?
“Fusheng,” Lian Zhi frowned slightly, tugging at his sleeve and coolly saying, “Didn’t you get punished enough yesterday? If you really don’t want that tongue of yours anymore, I can cut it out and feed it to the parrots in the back garden.”
The eunuch immediately shut his mouth, covering it with both hands and shaking his head vigorously.
Lian Zhi dusted off his sleeves and returned to the inner room. He scooped silver charcoal into the brazier and relit it, reheating a pot of medicine. As the medicine simmered, he fiddled with several gold-etched bowls brought over the previous day. They contained soft, glutinous side dishes meant to melt in the mouth, but after sitting overnight, they were no longer fresh. He sniffed them with some frustration and had them taken away to be remade.
While stirring the steaming medicine, he heard a faint groan from the bed, sounding like someone asking for water.
Lian Zhi quickly abandoned the ladle, poured warm water into a cup, and rushed over. Supporting Min Xuefei’s head with one hand, he brought the tea cup to his lips. The man, ill for three days and two nights, had cracked lips. At the sight of water, he instinctively drank in large gulps.
“Slowly, slowly.” Lian Zhi had to pull back slightly, letting him swallow one mouthful before continuing.
After quenching his thirst, Min Xuefei woke up fully. Once he was placed back on the pillow, he glanced around in confusion until he saw a familiar white hand and a eunuch’s green robe—his face immediately changed.
The young eunuch Fusheng returned from the kitchen with duck soup, thickened with flour for easier consumption. Lian Zhi took the bowl, tested its temperature against his hand, and blew on it gently before offering it to Min Xuefei. Softly, he said, “Lord Min. Physician Yu instructed you to take medicine, but since you haven’t eaten any proper food for two days, the medicine might be too harsh on your stomach. Have some duck soup first.”
Min Xuefei turned his head away in resistance. “I don’t need—”
“Physician Yu worked through the night to save you and only rested near dawn. Prince Ji has taken over your duties and is handling important matters.” Lian Zhi’s gaze lowered as he held the bowl. “If you truly think this life you barely held onto is meaningless, then by all means, don’t take the medicine. At worst, everyone in this courtyard can accompany you in death.”
Min Xuefei gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, but his chest throbbed with pain.
Lian Zhi regretted his harsh words, quickly grabbing Min Xuefei’s hand as he moved to touch his chest. Holding it firmly by his side, Lian Zhi anxiously said, “Don’t move! There’s still a drainage tube inserted—be careful. Does it hurt here, or here?” He gently massaged Min Xuefei’s chest, carefully avoiding the bandaged arrow wound. “Does this feel better?”
Min Xuefei was startled by his actions and momentarily forgot to rebuke him. Instead, he looked at Lian Zhi with puzzled and conflicted eyes. After a moment, Lian Zhi caught Min Xuefei’s gaze, abruptly withdrawing his hand. His lips moved as if to explain but ultimately fell silent. Awkwardly, he repeated, “In any case, don’t move.”
“Drink the soup.” Lian Zhi turned around, pinched himself, and regained his composure, his sly demeanor returning as he pushed the bowl toward Min Xuefei.
After drinking the soup and taking his medicine, Min Xuefei’s stomach was uncomfortably full, his mouth tasting both bitter and salty. He glared at Lian Zhi, who was brewing tea at the table. Unable to hold back, he asked, “Supervisor Lian, don’t you have anything better to do than waste your time with a half-dead man like me?”
Lian Zhi took a small wooden box from Fusheng and walked over. When Min Xuefei opened his mouth to speak, Lian Zhi quickly popped something into it.
Min Xuefei: “…”
Lian Zhi smiled and asked, “Is it sweet?”
Min Xuefei was momentarily distracted by his smile, then dryly muttered, “Sweet.” Realizing what he had said, he quickly glared at Lian Zhi. “I don’t eat childish things like this.”
But Lian Zhi wasn’t offended. He sat on the edge of the bed, popped a candy into his own mouth, and smacked his lips. “I agree. It’s quite childish.”
“…” Min Xuefei fell silent. Since he couldn’t move, he could only lower his head and stare at the back of Lian Zhi’s head. Suddenly, he noticed a small braid tucked among Lian Zhi’s sleek, black hair. If one didn’t look closely, it was easy to miss. Small braids weren’t uncommon, but Lian Zhi’s meticulous and solemn demeanor made the playful braid seem out of place.
The sight of the braid stirred a vague memory, though Min Xuefei couldn’t recall what it was.
Before he realized it, the candy had melted in his mouth, suppressing the bitter taste in his throat.
——
By the time Yu Jinnian woke up fully, it was almost lunchtime. After asking the palace maid who assisted him with washing up, he learned that Lord Ji had been summoned by the Emperor to discuss important matters and wouldn’t return anytime soon. Taking advantage of the situation, he made his way to the kitchen, sipping on a bowl of duck broth egg drop soup courtesy of Min’s household. When he saw the duck bones at the bottom of the bowl, he suddenly remembered the *clove duck* he had asked the palace maids to marinate the night before.
He immediately jumped up. “Where’s my duck?!”
“Don’t worry, young master. It’s chilling in the ice chest,” a palace maid said with a smile, sitting in the corner as she carved carrots. Yu Jinnian fetched the duck from the ice chest, steaming it whole with its seasoning still stuffed inside. He sneaked over to peek at the maid’s handiwork and exclaimed in awe when he saw her carrot carving—a chunk no bigger than a coin had been transformed into a lifelike red lotus flower.
Grinning shamelessly, Yu Jinnian sidled up to her. “Sister, you’re so skilled! Can you carve a few for me? I want to gift them to someone!”
The maid quickly carved two more carrot flowers and shyly handed them to him.
Yu Jinnian placed the flowers into a bowl of clean water and had a young eunuch carry them back to his room. Then he stayed to chat, calling the palace maid “sister” this and “sister” that, making her giggle endlessly. The cheerful sounds filled the kitchen, drawing curious glances even from the low-ranking eunuchs cleaning the courtyard outside.
In the midst of this, the duck finished steaming. Yu Jinnian quickly cut off the laughter, pulled the duck out, drained the moisture, and hollowed out its stuffing. He mixed bean flour, eggs, salt, and sauce into a batter and carefully brushed it over the duck. Meanwhile, the eunuchs had already heated the oil until white smoke rose from its surface. Grabbing the duck by its neck, Yu Jinnian dunked it into the hot oil.
In no time, the batter on the duck’s surface began to crisp, puffing into golden layers. Where the crust split, the duck skin underneath revealed a rich, reddish hue.
The kitchen filled with an irresistible fragrance. The oil crackled and popped, the crispy skin glistened red, and the tantalizing aroma made mouths water.
Yu Jinnian retrieved the fried duck, dabbed off excess oil with a clean cloth, and chopped it into pieces, placing them into a small woven basket. He rewarded the palace maid who carved the flowers with a piece of duck, sending her off joyfully to share it with her friends. The eunuchs, meanwhile, could only swallow their drool as they trailed behind her, hoping to catch a whiff of the meat’s aroma.
Carrying the basket, Yu Jinnian entered Min’s room just in time to see Lian Zhi attempting to feed Min Xuefei porridge. Min Xuefei’s face was full of resistance, his expression as unwilling as a prisoner being force-fed. If not for the lingering scent of rice in the air, Yu Jinnian might have thought Lian Zhi was torturing him with poison.
When they noticed him come in, the two finally paused their struggle.
Min Xuefei rolled his eyes, making it clear he would rather starve than accept charity.
Yu Jinnian stood still for a moment, then silently pulled out a chair and sat at the table. Uncovering the white cloth over the basket, the crispy duck’s fragrant aroma immediately spread through the room. He tore off a duck leg with flair, biting into the crispy skin with a satisfying crunch and sucking the tender juices from the meat. The loud slurping sounds were deliberate.
Pain was pain, but hunger was real. Min Xuefei, who had stubbornly refused the porridge, couldn’t resist the tantalizing scent. His stomach twisted with hunger, and though he fought the urge to turn his head, he quietly swallowed several times.
Lian Zhi sighed helplessly, glancing back at Yu Jinnian with a smile that was both exasperated and amused. “Young master, stop torturing him.” He then walked to the door, calling Fusheng to bring a plate and a pair of gold-rimmed scissors, which had been rinsed in hot water. Sitting back at the table, he glanced at Yu Jinnian, who generously gave permission for him to “share” the duck.
Lian Zhi tore off the other duck leg, slowly peeling off the meat and discarding the tougher, crispy skin. He carefully shredded the tender parts into fine pieces, almost mincing them, and piled the meat into a small plate. His hands moved quickly yet methodically, and soon the plate was filled with a small mound of juicy shredded meat.
Just as he was finishing, Yu Jinnian abruptly stood up. “I’m going to mix some medicine.”
Lian Zhi looked puzzled. Yu Jinnian had already prepared three days’ worth of medicine yesterday—why was he leaving again after only a day? Was Min’s condition worsening? His thoughts spiraled, but Yu Jinnian said nothing more and simply walked out the door, leaving Lian Zhi to realize belatedly that he was giving the two of them some privacy.
Lian Zhi smiled awkwardly, and Yu Jinnian waved it off with a casual gesture before hopping out the door.
Min Xuefei struggled to speak. “Yu—”
*Click.* The door closed.
“…”
Lian Zhi placed the minced duck meat on top of a bowl of white rice porridge and brought it to the bed without a word. Kneeling slightly, he held up the bowl to feed Min Xuefei. The fragrant porridge mixed with tender meat made Min Xuefei hesitate. After a long internal struggle, hunger won out. He finally parted his lips and allowed the spoon to touch his mouth. The soft rice, combined with the savory minced meat, slid easily down his throat. Though the motion tugged slightly at the drainage wound between his ribs, the satisfaction of a full stomach quickly overpowered the pain, prompting a quiet sigh of relief.
Seeing him eat contentedly, Lian Zhi smiled. “Eat a few more bites.”
Though he encouraged Min Xuefei to eat more, the bowl was quite small. Before Min Xuefei could feel full, Lian Zhi refused to fetch more, quoting Yu Jinnian’s instructions that eating too much too soon would hinder his recovery. He also warned about the inconvenience of using the bathroom if he overate.
At the mention of this, Min Xuefei’s expression froze. He stopped asking for food and pulled the thin blanket over himself.
Lian Zhi watched him curiously, puzzled by his sudden obedience. Seeing Min Xuefei’s awkward demeanor, something clicked in Lian Zhi’s mind, and his ears turned red as he stammered softly, “Do… do you need to…?”
“No!” Min Xuefei snapped.
The room fell silent for a moment. After a while, faint footsteps sounded. Just as Min Xuefei debated whether to look back, a hand suddenly slipped under his blanket, tugging at his underclothes.
Startled, Min Xuefei grabbed at the hand. “What are you doing?!”
Lian Zhi, still holding the waistband of Min Xuefei’s clothes, looked very improper, though his trembling voice revealed his nervousness. “You… you need to relieve yourself.”
Min Xuefei, born to a noble family, rarely said such vulgar words. But under Lian Zhi’s influence, he blurted out instinctively, “I don’t! Let go!”
“It’s not good to hold it in. The physician said so,” Lian Zhi murmured.
“…!” Min Xuefei glared at the porcelain chamber pot in Lian Zhi’s hand. “Put that thing down! I can—” Before he could finish, Lian Zhi tugged firmly, pulling down his loose-fitting clothes.
Both of them froze, eyes wide, as the moment turned unbearably awkward—almost as if Lian Zhi were forcing him.
Hurriedly, Lian Zhi lifted the chamber pot, positioning it carefully. “Just… just go.”
Though the bowstring was drawn, Min Xuefei simply couldn’t bring himself to urinate. It felt as though he were being publicly humiliated, and the embarrassment nearly killed him. He wished he could bury his face in the pillow and die on the spot. Meanwhile, Lian Zhi was completely oblivious. His gaze was fixated on that *thing*, his expression blank and almost dazed. After a long while, he realized how inappropriate it was, shifted his eyes slightly, only to unconsciously look back, his gaze mixed with curiosity and a faint heat.
Lian Zhi had been castrated at the age of eight. Everyone he encountered in the palace was like him. In his earlier years, he served the palace concubines, inevitably picking up some feminine habits. Later, when he moved to the Imperial Household Directorate under Feng Jian, meticulousness and decorum became his entire life. Apart from an occasional fleeting glimpse of court officials and the patrolling guards, he had never really seen what a “man” was supposed to look like.
Now, seeing it for the first time, he felt more awe than anything—astonishment and even an odd excitement. *So this is what a real man is like.* It was worlds apart from eunuchs. It wasn’t just the missing part; even that part, the one that *wasn’t missing*, looked large, strange, and a little ugly. Inwardly, Lian Zhi found it unsightly but couldn’t resist looking. He not only wanted to look but also wondered how it might feel—how it differed from his own incomplete body.
People called eunuchs “castrates” and “little husbands,” things even lesser than women, simply because they were missing that one thing. So logically, a man’s must be better than theirs.
Somehow, he felt a twinge of envy.
Under Lian Zhi’s bold and almost scorching gaze, Min Xuefei’s fleeting urge to relieve himself retreated entirely. Furious and ashamed, he snapped, “What are you staring at?!”
“Ah!” Lian Zhi flinched as though startled, quickly turning his head away. His fingers fidgeted on the chamber pot handle, and his throat went dry as he swallowed heavily. “I’m not looking… Just go…”
Min Xuefei fought through his utter discomfort. Just as he finally managed to relax, the sound of liquid striking the porcelain chamber made him flush scarlet with embarrassment. If he could move, he would have jumped out of bed and fled, even if it meant dying of internal discomfort. Anything would have been better than suffering such a humiliating scene in front of a eunuch.
Lian Zhi, for his part, felt like his mouth was filled with something sour, his saliva thick as he swallowed again and again. When the sound finally stopped, his ears burned red. Without waiting for Min Xuefei’s reaction, he swiftly pulled out a handkerchief and—before Min could stop him—reached forward to “wipe” him clean. To Min, it felt more like a wrenching motion than a gentle wipe.
If Lian Zhi hadn’t immediately bowed his head and explained, “It’s dirty… needs to be wiped,” Min Xuefei would have thought the eunuch was trying to twist it off and toss it away.
Min Xuefei felt as though a mighty tiger had fallen to misfortune, humiliated beyond repair. Just as he pulled his waistband up in self-defeat, he caught sight of Lian Zhi carefully folding the soiled handkerchief—of all things—like a treasure. Then, as though nothing were amiss, Lian Zhi moved to tuck it into his own collar.
Min Xuefei was horrified. “What are you doing?! Why would you put *that* in your clothes?!”
Lian Zhi mumbled, “Nothing… I’ll have them wash it.”
“Wash it?!” Min Xuefei was speechless. “Just throw it away! Isn’t it dirty?!”
As though Min would snatch it back, Lian Zhi took two quick steps backward, his eyes lowered. “I’ll throw it away… when I get back.”
Min Xuefei’s sense of dread grew. His gaze landed on the brazier on the table. “I think you should just burn it.”
Lian Zhi immediately objected. “I can’t. My mother left it for me.”
Min Xuefei’s head throbbed. “…Where would you even get a mother? That’s clearly a handkerchief from the embroidery workshop.”
Lian Zhi corrected himself. “It’s… it’s Lord Feng’s.”
Min Xuefei nearly lost his temper. “You dare use Feng Jian’s handkerchief to wipe *me*?! Do you think I took that arrow to the head and turned stupid?!”
Lian Zhi stared at him silently, inexplicably aggrieved. The two of them locked eyes in a cold standoff for a long while. Finally, Lian Zhi took another two steps back and defiantly said, “I won’t.” Then, without hesitation, he tucked the handkerchief into his collar, his posture practically screaming, *I’m the Chief Eunuch, and you’re half-dead. What can you do about it? If you’re so upset, get up and take it yourself.*
Clearly, he couldn’t even be bothered to make up a decent excuse.
Min Xuefei: “…”
*What did I do to deserve this?*
—
That night, Min Xuefei refused to let Lian Zhi stay and attend to him, no matter what. Lian Zhi took it as a sign of improvement—if Min had the energy to argue, he must be getting better. Relenting, he returned to his own quarters.
As usual, Feng Jian required someone to assist him in his nightly foot soak. Lian Zhi knelt on the ground, massaging the old eunuch’s feet, when suddenly—“Ow!” Feng Jian shouted, pulling back his foot and kicking Lian Zhi hard in the chest, knocking over the basin in the process.
“You hurt your godfather!” Feng Jian shrieked in his sharp, high voice. Then, as though nothing had happened, he reached out to “help” Lian Zhi up. “Oh dear, are you hurt? Get up and let me see.”
Drenched in water and humiliated, Lian Zhi climbed to his feet. “…I’m fine.”
Feng Jian sneered, his tone dripping with false affection. “Your godfather cares about you the most. Don’t disappoint me, you hear?”
Lian Zhi said nothing, cleaned up the mess, and dutifully helped Feng Jian settle in for the night. Once Feng Jian was asleep, Lian Zhi carried the basin out. Fusheng, seeing his disheveled state, hurried over to take it. “Did the Grand Supervisor punish you again?” he asked, muttering worriedly. He even tried to follow Lian Zhi back to his quarters, but Lian Zhi shut the door in his face.
Stripping off his wet clothes, Lian Zhi collapsed onto the bed, utterly exhausted. He reached under his pillow and pulled out the handkerchief, staring at it for a long while. Just as he was about to put it back, he paused. After a moment’s thought, he unfolded it again, slipped it under the blanket, and smoothed it against his lower abdomen.
Taking a deep breath, he lay perfectly straight, hands folded neatly on his chest, eyes squeezed shut with a faint trace of hope.
The old eunuchs say that if you keep a man’s “thing” close to your body long enough, eventually… it will grow back.
Who knows? Maybe it’s true.