Kou, who’s talking to the Fourth Corps Captain who suddenly came, thought about something.
I got worried and called out, but he said it’s nothing.
“Rodo’s child, want, just thought.” (I just thought I want to have Rodo’s child.)
(Do you want my child?)
Even though we just connected our bodies for the first time?
…I also want to have a child with Kou in the future, and as an Akinist, I have a duty to leave a child.
But that was a long way off in the future.
To our astonishment, if you look at Kou who’s tilting his head in confusion, he probably didn’t understand the meaning.
──what does it mean?
Kou’s body is too young to have children.
At the very least, we can’t do it unless he could accept me smoothly.
…because to have a child, he had to accept me as a beast. (T/N: Err…is this a casual mention of beast!@l!ty in the future?)
If I do it with Kou, it’ll be in a disastrous state of being torn.
I haven’t taught him the process of having children yet, so it’s not strange that Kou didn’t know.
Kou, who asked why we’re surprised, would want to return once I told him this, right?
Even when he accepted me as a human, he was already in such pain.
But he’ll eventually know.
I also want to have children with Kou.
“Beast, become. …now, Kou, not used to it, so, can’t.” (I have to become a beast. Kou is not used to it now, so we can’t.)
Kou blinked several times while keeping that confused tilted head posture.
However, he seemed to have understood it after a while──
He shouted something.
Then looked up at me and made a troubled face.
“Akinist, stroke, like. …but, that, no. Rodo, fine…” (I like stroking Akinist. But doing that is a no. Rodo is fine like this…)
In other words, he wanted me to remain humanized.
I understand that Kou is afraid.
If I turn into a beast, my body will grow bigger.
“Rodo’s child, want. …but, scary.”
I hugged Kou who began to cry.
“I won’t do it. Cry, no need.”
For me, I’m happy just because he wanted it.
Besides, we don’t have to make a child right now.
“Doing it, think about, can I?” (Can I think about it?)
Looking at Kou wiping his tears, my love overflows.
“Do you want Captain’s child that much?”
Partners of different races find it more burdensome.
Therefore, they usually don’t want children very much.
Renneiga might have wanted to say that.
“…Kou, until when, live, don’t know. If I die, Rodo, die, know. …child, have, Rodo, not die?” (I don’t know how long I’ll live. But when I die, Rodo will also die. …if I have a child, maybe Rodo will not die?)
I involuntarily lost my words.
Am I the reason why you wanted a child?
Certainly, I don’t think I can live after Kou died.
There’s also the possibility that Kou will disappear, but then, I can wait for him to reappear.
But if he died early, I won’t be able to live.
Because of my strong body, it’ll be difficult for me to commit suicide, but it’s harder to live in a world without Kou.
So I would choose death at all costs.
…but if there’s Kou’s keepsake, then what?
If it’s just a kid, I won’t care, but if it’s Kou’s kid, I might be interested in it.
──because half of it has Kou’s blood.
With someone that inherited Kou’s blood, will I choose to die?
…but…I don’t know what kind of choice I’ll make because I still don’t know the pain of losing Kou.
So I can’t say anything.
Seems like the others are the same.
No one here doesn’t know a mate’s predilection.
If that time didn’t come, we can’t predict what will happen.
I wish I could reassure him by saying “I won’t die”…but I don’t want to lie to Kou.
“…live long, want, okay?” (I also want to live long, you know?)
Kou, who seemed to realize that he wouldn’t get an affirmation from my silence, said that and laughed, then didn’t talk anymore.
We’re in the middle of eating so he resumed his meal.
I can’t even reassure Kou.
But I don’t want to tell a lie.
…what should I say?
Perhaps he couldn’t stand the awkward atmosphere, the Fourth Corps Captain went out in a hurry.
The other members also left with confused expressions.
Kou remained on my lap.
…isn’t he angry?
After eating, Kou got off my lap.
“Tower, go.” (I’ll go to the tower.)
I felt like Kou, who waved his hand while saying that, was going far away so I hugged him.
A voice asking “what?”
This…did I surprise Kou?
“…tower, go, no? Today, rest?” (Should I not go to the Tower? Do you want to rest today?)
However, Kou, who stroked my head, smiled gently.
Is he not appalled by my actions?
He even said he’d take a rest for me.
I really don’t know which one was older.
“Today, together?” (Want to be together today?)
Healed by the smile looking up from my arms.
I strongly think that Kou is fitting as my mate, and I don’t want to be robbed.
I also don’t want to be hated by Kou.
Is that proof that I like Kou so much that the fear wouldn’t go away even though he told me he likes me?
Kou noticed my state and quickly called out.
He always acts for me.
I’m worried if I can keep my mate who fascinates everyone.
Kou, who wrapped his arms to my back, said so while laughing.
The word “cute” is always said every time I feel uneasy.
I’m also used to being called “like my younger brother”…
…does that mean I haven’t been seen as “his man” yet?
…shouldn’t that be wiped out after connecting our bodies?
“Rodo, mate, relieved.” (I’m relieved that I’m Rodo’s mate.)
I was so happy when he uttered those words…
That I hugged him unconsciously.
I heard a painful sound and hurriedly weakened my power.
“Rodo, work, go? …h-home?” (Do you want to work? …or go h-home?) (T/N: A version of “Do you want food, a bath, or me?” in Kou style.)
While clinging to me, those words should be foul play.
Besides, I already prevented Kou from going to the Tower of Trik.
And it’s also hard to say that I have to work.
In the afternoon, the members only need to train and I don’t have to give any guidance.
It’s just my personal training time.
And I can do that anywhere.
My answer is expected.
“Captain, are you going home?”
After replying to Renneiga, I picked up Kou and left the barracks.
I haven’t taken a day off for a long time, so it’s okay to take a half-day day off.
Besides, in the event of an emergency, my house is within easy reach.
Kou usually says “down” but today, he had his arms around my neck and his head on my shoulders.
I feel like I’ve been particularly pampered lately…and I don’t think it’s my fault.
He used to want to get off right away and we’d just hold hands as a compromise.
“Got home, together, sleep?” (When we get home, sleep together?)
Is he sleepy after eating?
He’d only sleep during the day when riding Sig.
Everything related to a mode of transport seemed to make him sleepy.
But I have no reason to decline.
If we can sleep together, that’s fine.
“…Kou, back, hurts, mmm, no more?” (My back doesn’t hurt anymore, you know?)
I was suddenly told that, but…what does that mean?
Am I being invited?
“Rodo, liked it, right? Kou, um, okay. Waist, b*tt, don’t hurt.” (Rodo likes it, right? I’m fine now. My waist and b*tt don’t hurt anymore.)
As Kou said, I have always been concerned and caring…
I didn’t expect to be told that at this time.
──my reason snapped.
By the time I noticed, we’re already at home.
From the fact that my rarely disturbed breathing is rough, I seemed to have returned with a sprint.
I can see Kou being confused, but I didn’t care.
I quickly headed to the bedroom and pushed him down.
…but Kou didn’t resist and reached out to me.
From there, my head turned white and I could hardly remember the things afterward.
However, I always told myself to be conscious of not becoming a beast.
This feeling, as if the blood in my whole body had boiled, could only be felt when I’m with Kou.
This is the second time, but I realized that I’m too absorbed in it.
Even though I want to be more caring for Kou’s body…
This time, he didn’t lose consciousness right away and said my name.
With that look melted in pleasure…
While we’re still connected…
To say such a thing.
──I want to do it again.
─Rodo’s side end─
4 thoughts on “ACDWL 071: Cause for Reason Snapping”
Awesome chapter, Thank you!
Is everything okay I haven’t heard from you for awhile
Your updates are one of the best things I’ve had this past year so I really miss you
I can’t imagine Rodo turning into a beast while Kou is in human form.😳 I just can’t.
BEASTI— I’M A-OKAY. COME AT ME. I NEED TO SEE A DOZEN CUBS RUNNING AROUND, KOU, YOU HEAR ME.