ACDWL 123: I Can’t Have the Same Feelings

ACDWL 122: Unrivaled Revelry
ACDWL 124: Different Personality From El

─Rodo’s side─


After returning to Karzen, I was facing Eldred while watching Ko start cooking.

When I was asked to “look” at him, I just looked at him.

I don’t talk to him in particular, and I rarely talk to Eldred.

He talked to me but the content was all about Ko.

Eldred is a half-Akinist, so he should be more powerful than other races.

Ko says, “Eldred is still a kid,” but for an Akinist, even a kid will rarely lose to an adult.

So while I’m away, I told him to protect Ko.

But Ko reproached me.

He says that Eldred, a child, has no obligation to protect anyone yet.

When I was a kid, I was never told to protect anyone.

However, I have also never been told to go with anyone.

I always went out alone and ran around freely.

As an Akinist’s child, there were actually adults who called out to me.

Some guys tried to catch me and then I drove them away by myself.

…it’ll be revealed soon after since we were making a lot of noise.

Perhaps because I lived such a childhood, it’s strange and unbearable for me to see Ko spoil the child.

Even if he said “accompany the other”, I don’t know what to do.

Earlier, he said it’s dangerous to let Eldred walk around town, so the pregnant Ko asked and I answered yes, otherwise, he’d pick up Eldred.

No matter what others think, everyone would have said that it’s better to pick up Ko.

There’s no danger with Eldred walking alone.

And since my parents are there, it wouldn’t be dangerous.

Ko says I’m overprotective, but I think Ko’s worse than me.

…it may be natural to worry about the half-Akinist Eldred, because even we, the purebred Akinsits, worried him.


However, the usual Ko is weaker than us.

A thin and light body that seems breakable.

He has heal so he can fall asleep during pregnancy, but I feel like he’s sick frequently.

I’m his mate and monopolizes my interest so it’s only natural to worry about his weak body.

Eldred is a half-Akinist, but the blood of Akinist is thick in him so he’s strong and doesn’t need anyone’s worry.

If that happens, which one to worry about can be decided depending on the situation.

So it makes sense to worry about someone I care about.

…that’s something we, who are worried about Ko, often say.


“Fatha, motha, food, dewish, wight?” (Father, mother’s food is delicious, right?)

“That’s right.”

I’ve never thought anything’s delicious except for Ko’s food.

“Fatha, food, what, wikes?” (Father, what food do you like?)

“All the dishes made by Ko.”

I like anything that Ko makes.

Before eating Ko’s food, I just ate to fill my stomach.

I never thought it was delicious or wanted to eat it again.

No matter what I ate, I never thought of anything.

I thought meals were like that.

Until Ko’s food stimulated my taste.


“Fatha, this, poy.” (Father, toy.)


Recently, Eldred talks to me a lot.

Did Ko say something?

If I throw the toys that were handed to me, he’ll run at a glance.

And, immediately, he’ll come back with it in his mouth.

“Fatha, mwore!”


If I throw it again, he’ll run again.

…is it fun?


“El, are you playing with your dad? Do you like it?”

Ko called out while carrying food.

“Tell me what to carry.”

“It’s fine. I’d be glad if you could play with El.”

Unlike me, Ko often looks like a parent.

“Fatha, gave me poy!”

“I see. That’s good.”

After stroking Eldred’s head, Ko heads back to the kitchen.

Ko told me that I couldn’t chase after him so I threw Eldred’s toys.

…he’ll be back soon.


Eldred’s toys are usually bought by His Majesty.

However, the toys I’ve thrown out earlier are made by Ko sewing cloth.

Many are made so that they can be chewed and torn.

I asked, “Is it that easy to make?” but it’s something I can’t make because I’ve never seen it.

Seems like there’s something that makes a sound in the toy and the sound is different depending on the thing.

There seem to be many such toys in the world where Ko was born.

These were said to be “degraded versions” of it but it’s only because Ko’s self-esteem is very low.


“Food is ready.”


Eldred ran at Ko’s words.

I also went to the table.

“Did you play a lot with dad?”


Ko is stroking Eldred’s head, who arrived a little earlier.

“Thank you for playing with El.”

When he looked up at me as I approached, I was kissed on the cheek.

“No problem.”

If I’m kissed with such a happy face, it’s fine to do it again.

I hugged the lovely Ko and kissed him.

Compared to when he was pregnant with Eldred, he doesn’t feel sick when I touch him, but…I’m troubled because I want to do something else.

If he gets sick…I don’t mean to do anything, though.


The food prepared by Ko is as delicious as ever.

But the only thing that stimulates my taste buds is Ko’s food.

And Ko, who watches me and Eldred eat, always smiles.

He seems to like seeing us eat the food he cooked deliciously.

So I can eat as many dishes as he likes.

But unlike us, Ko has always had a small meal.

I think I ate more when I was small, but he’s too different from me.

I’m worried that he’ll fall down with such a small meal every day.

He was always sick because he ate less during his pregnancy with Eldred.

Because he was in such a state last time, I cannot leave, worried even though he’s in good physical condition this time.

Until now, the Third Corps has often been assigned support missions but since Ko’s pregnancy is more important worldwide, I won’t be blamed even if I take a break from work for half a year.

…before that, there was no partner who wouldn’t worry about their mates.

There’s also a system called “mate leave”.

Those who have mates can prioritize their mates.


But for Ko, who doesn’t understand the smell emitted by mates, it seems like there’s not much difference in the feeling of me cherishing him, compared to Eldred and my parents.

I think it’s okay to sacrifice anyone as long as Ko is safe.

If you say that you need the lives of people all over the world to save one Ko, I’ll give priority to Ko’s life without hesitation.

…but Ko is different.

He wouldn’t cut Eldred’s life for me.

…no, if it’s Ko, I and Eldred will be saved, while I would sacrifice myself.

I know it’s Ko, but…as expected, if Ko, who is more important than my life, is being threatened──no, I won’t say anymore.

I don’t want to imagine such a future.


“Hn? What’s wrong?”

I hugged Ko who was sitting next to me because I wanted to get rid of my unpleasant imagination.

“Rodo? …is there anything you’re worried about? It’s okay, Rodokiaus.”

I’m usually nicknamed “Rodo” but except on formal occasions, when did he start saying my full name when I was worried…

He’s the only one in my life who strokes my head.

“Fatha, shomething wong?”

I can hear Eldred’s voice, but I’m not in the mood to respond right now.


“Now is a rare time for dad to depend on mom.”

I heard Ko’s words, but I was struck by the content.

I’m often anxious, and if I perceive this as “dependence”, then I’m often spoiled.

So it’s not unusual at all.

Ko knows that I’m worried because Ko’s lifespan hasn’t been resolved.


“I like spoiling Rodokiaus.”

In front of Eldred, he would have called himself “mom” and me “dad”…

But now I’m glad that he called my name.

──it feels like he thought of me as “Rodokaius”, not as “Eldred’s dad”.

“Shpoil, motha, only?” (Only mother can spoil father?)

“…if you’re spoiled by someone other than me, I’m sure you won’t cry.”

Ko said that but there’s no reason for me to be spoiled by anyone except Ko.

Actually, I don’t want to be spoiled by Ko…after being told “I want you to be spoiled by me”, I’d then be pampered by him…or rather, once I started telling my true thoughts, Ko would no longer be dissatisfied.

That’s more important to me.

I don’t want to make Ko cry in any way, I’ve been thinking that for a long time.

──although it’s less than in the past, I still make him cry sometimes.


─Rodokiaus’ side end─

ACDWL 122: Unrivaled Revelry
ACDWL 124: Different Personality From El

How about something to motivate me to continue....

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