AGJN 048: What Do Zhang Xunchun and Lan He Do?

“Bai Wu heard some commotion over here, so we came to check it out,” said Song Futan.

Even though they were a street away, Bai Wu was still a household deity worshiped by Lan He, so not only did he hear the sound of the statue hitting the ground, but he also had a vague feeling that something was wrong. This gave him the courage to tell Song Futan to come over.

Of course, after realizing that there were too many people and ghosts at the scene, Bai Wu fainted again and continued to ‘die’ inside a plastic bag.

“Come, come, come, hide behind… No, form a line, form a line,” Lan He called everyone to hide behind Song Futan. The paper horse trotted to guard the rear. He could sense Hu Si’s approximate location, so he shifted Song Futan by placing a hand on his shoulder, positioning him in front.

Hu Si: “…”

What was this, a game of tag?

Song Futan: “…”

They were really using him as a shield. However, since Lan He’s hand was always on his shoulder, if he was the shield, then Lan He was the sword, which made them a pretty good match…

Song Futan got a little distracted and then heard Lan He taunting, “Old Hu Si, come at me!”

He felt that calling Hu Si without the “old” sounded too plain, so he took the liberty of adding the word.

Because Song Futan was there, Lan He wasn’t worried about being deceived by Hu Si’s illusions. His tone became much more arrogant, and his goal shifted from “hold out until reinforcements arrive” to “take down Old Hu Si.”

Only half of Lan He’s face peeked out from behind Song Futan’s shoulder, his eyes gleaming with pride, deliberately trying to lure Hu Si out.

Song Futan cooperatively pulled his prayer beads out from under his clothes, chanting, “If the mind is absent, so too is everything. Illusionary karma arises and fades.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it echoed in everyone’s ears like the sound of temple clappers at dawn, calming their hearts and dispelling much of their fear.

One’s cultivation level didn’t always correlate with their mental fortitude. Sometimes, even subtle things could influence one’s state of mind.

Although Song Futan didn’t give them all prayer beads to wear, the illusions still persisted. But at that moment, seeing Song Futan calm and unaffected, with a peaceful aura emanating from him, their fear was no longer able to overwhelm them.

Even the two guys who had meat incense stuck in them stopped crying and covered their eyes, trying to ignore what was in front of them.

Sure enough, Hu Si couldn’t hold back any longer. Her figure slowly emerged from the crowd of ghosts. She was still wearing a black robe with the hood covering half her face. Watching Lan He taunt her from behind Song Futan, she ground her teeth in hatred, “You’re getting too happy, too early.”

The Red Lotus of Illness… Last time, she had almost succeeded.

If she had devoured the Red Lotus back then, it wouldn’t have just been a matter of usurping the City God’s position; she could have even attained immortality.

Lan He: “You’ve come out, and I shouldn’t be happy?”

Hu Si stepping out meant she knew the illusion couldn’t kill them.

Hu Si looked at Song Futan with malice, “What, do you plan to die here today to fulfill your wish?”

Hu Si’s scheming mind began to work. She had shaken Song Futan’s resolve once before, so why couldn’t she do it again? Even though the Impermanence was here, that didn’t mean she couldn’t try from a different angle…

What wish? Lan He suddenly sensed something was off. What did Hu Si mean by this? Lan He knew Song Futan’s mind was steadfast and fearless, which was why the prayer beads kept him safe. They complemented each other.

But Hu Si’s words carried a subtle implication that she knew Song Futan’s weakness. If that were true, then Song Futan wasn’t entirely safe.

Lan He quickly stepped out from behind Song Futan, cautiously half-blocking him, “What are you talking about?”

Song Futan pulled him back, “It’s nothing.”

Hu Si watched Lan He’s expression. Clearly, he didn’t know what was going on, so it seemed to be one-sided. She chuckled quietly and said, “How could it be nothing? What I mean is, if he doesn’t die, won’t you two always be separated between the living and the dead? Do you know how much it bothers him?”

This was the only crack in the heart of the Red Lotus of Illness. As she spoke, she glanced at Song Futan. Sure enough, his expression had become a little unnatural.

Lan He’s mind buzzed, instantly understanding why Hu Si had been able to threaten Song Futan before, and why, later, when he had worried about Song Futan, the latter had said there wouldn’t be any more problems.

It was because at that time, the only thing that could shake Song Futan was the thought of being separated from Lan He by life and death. He had never been lured into darkness, except that one time, when he came close to falling into Hu Si’s trap.

Since Hu Si couldn’t find something Song Futan feared, she exposed what he cared about…

Behind them, Ying Shao overheard everything. Although Hu Si hadn’t said it outright, her meaning was already very clear. He scratched his cheek and whispered, “I knew they were a CP.”

Melonhead Immortal was clutching his head, wanting to scream like a groundhog. Hearing gossip about these big players was entertaining, but the current situation didn’t seem to be going well at all!

Hu 79 was much more straightforward, spitting out, “Pfft!”

…Human and ghost separated? Song Futan was about to sleep on their window seat at home!

Lan He snapped out of it, and in his heart, the spring buds bloomed instantly, growing dense branches that tickled him softly. In a low voice, he said, “I know, there’s really nothing wrong.”

How could they be separated between the living and the dead? He had long since confessed his identity to Song Futan in the mortal world, and besides…

What Hu Si didn’t know was that Lan He was the living incarnation of Impermanence. She noticed that Song Futan was only momentarily distracted, and Lan He quickly came back to his senses. Hu Si could tell Lan He wasn’t bluffing; he even seemed a little…happy.

Hu Si: “???”

Seeing Lan He happy, Hu Si wasn’t happy at all. Moreover, she sensed other ghostly enforcers approaching… her fangs bared as countless fierce ghosts surged forward.

The paper horse neighed loudly, charging ahead, trampling the phantom ghosts. Wherever it stepped, the ghosts turned into stones or discarded fruit peels—revealing their true forms. Some paper horses, however, were torn apart by the fierce aura, dissolving into ash.

Melonhead Immortal and his group gained confidence. His wife sat on top of Yu’s father’s belly, slashing every ghost that came close with her claws.

Ying Shao focused on commanding ghostly creatures to protect the two living people and the trapped souls. Even though the phantoms were illusions, they carried Hu Si’s malevolent aura, and since they existed in reality, Ying Shao even got a small scratch on his nose. As the fight broke out again, the others screamed in terror.

A flash of inspiration hit Ying Shao. Without hesitation, he decided to hypnotize the terrified individuals—better to trap them in a controlled illusion of his own making than let them fall deeper into Hu Si’s chaotic one. This calmed things down.

Bai Wu, who had been whimpering in a plastic bag, finally crawled out. He grew larger, leaped onto Lan He’s back, and with his claws gripping Lan He’s shoulders, turned into a spiked armor.

Hu Si’s main target was Lan He, but both Melonhead Immortal and Hu 79 lunged at her. Hu Si’s figure flickered as she moved swiftly, hiding among the fierce ghosts and launching surprise attacks. Her long nails slashed across Hu 79’s arm, sending blood spraying.

Song Futan whispered a few words to Lan He. Lan He, hiding behind him, flung his chain. The Soul-Catching Chain wrapped around Hu Si’s ankle, pulling her down to the ground.

Hu 79’s eyes flashed red as she locked onto her target, pouncing on Hu Si and sinking her teeth into her cheek!

“Ahhh!!” Blood splattered. Hu Si flung her head, and a chunk of flesh tore off. Her hood fell, leaving her disheveled and humiliated. Fueled by rage, she temporarily ignored Lan He, letting out a sharp screech as she grabbed Hu 79 and bit her in retaliation.

Melonhead Immortal tried to scratch her, but Hu Si kicked him away with her hind legs, sending him flying. When he got up, his chest was a mess of blood and flesh, and he coughed up blood.

Lan He saw Hu 79 also covered in bites. The Four Great Beasts were, after all, animal spirits, and when they fought, it was bloodily intense. He and Song Futan also jumped into the fray, extending sharp claws that gleamed coldly, slashing at Hu Si.

Though Hu Si appeared human, her actions were beast-like. She took Lan He’s slash directly and turned to bite him, “Aoo!”

Lan He spun around, and Song Futan swiftly pulled him into his arms. Facing Song Futan from the front, with his back covered by Bai Wu’s spikes…

Hu Si: “………”

Even she couldn’t find a way to bite through this. Her wide-open mouth awkwardly closed. Then she noticed that Lan He, being held by Song Futan, had reddened ear tips, which infuriated her even more: “Is this really the time for that?!”

Distracted by her anger, Hu Si gave Hu 79 the chance to bite her leg, making her scream, “Ahhh—”

Melonhead Immortal, though much weaker than both Hu Si and Hu 79, and even less equipped than Lan He with his sharp claws, was still determined. After being knocked back, he picked himself up again, pouncing once more, only to be slapped away by Hu Si. Before he could react, he was sent flying again.

“Uuugh…” Melonhead Immortal, relentless, crawled back up. His beady eyes were red with effort, and his wife was nearly crying watching him.

Hu Si raised her hand, her long nails slashing across her face from the corner of her eye to her mouth. Instantly, her eyes were filled with a stronger, bloodthirsty aura. Her form started to shift—hunched over, her limbs growing longer, taking on more beastly characteristics.

She had become famous on Miaogan Mountain for her ferocity in battle. After being bitten by Hu 79, her savagery only increased. She cut her own face to trigger her bloodlust, as if the more she bled, the wilder she became. Her injuries became almost invisible as she pinned Hu 79 down, tearing at her like a complete beast.

Lan He gasped at this display of savagery, yanking at the chain binding Hu Si, but she didn’t budge!

Hu 79, pinned beneath Hu Si, struggled to turn over. Her gaze fell on a painting Melonhead Immortal had brought. Suddenly, she shouted excitedly, “Burn it! Master, use the paper to craft a weapon!”

Lan He glanced at Melonhead Immortal, “What’s that painting?”

Melonhead Immortal trembled under his gaze. He didn’t recognize Hu 79, but he knew that any fox under Master Lai’s command would be vicious. “It’s the *Chaozhen Painting* by Li Yong. I was using it to protect Yu Zhengqing…”

Hu 79 snapped, “Stop babbling!” Fox spirits usually burn paper to craft magical items. This *Chaozhen Painting*, depicting immortals, and imbued with the devotion of believers, was far more useful than the paper the police used!

Lan He understood instantly, patting Bai Wu’s foot and finally calling him by name, “Bai Wu, go!”

Bai Wu leapt onto Hu 79’s back, covering her like armor and buying her time to breathe. But Hu 79 didn’t run away; instead, she tightly entangled Hu Si, with both foxes now covered in wounds, their blood mingling together.

Melonhead Immortal couldn’t handle the *Chaozhen Painting* himself, so he instructed Ying Shao to burn the painting for Master Lai. As the ancient artwork turned to ash, it reformed in Lan He’s hands, leaving Melonhead Immortal in awe. This kind of thing, once burned and transformed into an object of the underworld, wasn’t something any regular ghost could touch. Besides Ying Shao, only beings of great virtue could handle it, such as powerful gods or spirits.

It suddenly struck Melonhead Immortal that Master Lai, despite being a rogue, must possess such great virtue. After all, he wasn’t greedy for wealth.

Hu Si had both hands locked around Hu 79’s throat, pulling her hard to the ground and tossing her aside. The hedgehog-like spirit hit the ground so hard he almost spat blood—fox spirits were naturally the bane of white spirits.

Hu 79’s face turned purple-red as she struggled to pry Hu Si’s hands off her neck, but no matter how hard she tried, her grip wouldn’t budge. Her sharp fingers were slowly digging into her throat, drawing blood.

Bai Wu rolled forward on the ground, transforming back into human form as he pulled a bloody spike from his back.

With his back to Hu Si, Bai Wu knelt on one knee, gritting his teeth as he gripped the long spike with both hands near his neck, then thrust it backward with all his might!

The wind swept through, Bai Wu’s hair flowing as his eyes were cast down at the ground. His half-kneeling, back-stabbing motion was sharp and stylish, but anyone familiar with him would recognize that this was the most comfortable assassination pose for the introverted hedgehog…

The spike plunged into Hu Si, and with a shriek, she released Hu 79 and turned to swipe at Bai Wu’s shoulder. As he began to cry loudly, Bai Wu gripped her wrists tightly.

Meanwhile, Lan He had taken two steps back, with Song Futan shielding him. The illusions could no longer get close enough to disturb him. Lan He folded the ancient painting into a paper sword, reciting a spell: “Divine light of gold, command the spirits, banish all evil, heaven and earth in balance!”

The paper sword glowed faintly with golden light as Lan He raised it high. There was a brief moment when it seemed like a phantom image of the immortals from the *Chaozhen Painting* was holding the sword with him. With an air of authority, Lan He swung the sword toward Hu Si, who was held fast by Bai Wu!

Even Lan He, and the one who had suggested this plan, Hu 79, hadn’t anticipated how things would turn out. After all, few would have dared use such a priceless ancient artwork as a weapon.

Hu Si had no way to dodge. The paper sword pierced her chest and abdomen, and the golden light threatened to engulf her.

Suddenly, all illusions vanished. The mass grave, the wailing ghosts, the paper money, and the malevolent spirits—all gone, leaving behind only an empty street.

Hu Si collapsed on the ground, her mouth opening to spit out a shattered inner core—the source of her many years of cultivation as a fox spirit. With her core broken, she reverted to her fox form, bleeding from her belly.

The light from Lan He’s sword faded, and it too turned into fluttering paper ash, scattering in the wind.

Only then did Lan He realize, with a start, that this painting by Li Yong was likely an invaluable antique. How much had that sword strike just cost him…?

Lan He shuddered and hurried over to bind Hu Si with the soul-reaping chains. “Where’s the Golden Mouse?”

Hu Si glared at him with venomous eyes and remained silent.

“Careful, or I’ll knock out another tooth,” Lan He threatened menacingly. “I’m asking you, where’s the Golden Mouse?”

He had slipped back into his role of playing the fearsome ghost.

Hu Si’s eyes flickered with suspicion. She stared at him but eventually turned her head away. “I want to see her. I won’t say a word until I see her.”

“Her?” Lan He blinked, then said, “Are you talking about First Lady Hu?”

Thinking about it, everything Hu Si had done seemed to revolve around First Lady Hu. Back in the day, Hu Si had tried to seduce humans, all to compete with First Lady Hu. Now, trying to seize the town’s relics seemed to be for the same reason.

It seemed Hu Si’s obsession with First Lady Hu ran deep.

Lan He looked her over. “Even if you don’t speak, First Lady Hu will likely come to see you. After all, she’s the one who personally ordered your capture.”

Hu Si laughed bitterly. “Then why didn’t she come herself?”

Lan He retorted, “Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t talk unless you saw her?”

Hu Si: “…”

Caught in her own contradiction, Hu Si fell silent. Lan He, not bothering with her anymore, stood up and said, “Wake them up and let them go.”

By “them,” he was referring to those with meat incense stuck in them and the trapped soul of the little girl. Aside from Yu’s father, who remained unconscious, the other three were still under Ying Shao’s hypnosis.

Ying Shao obediently snapped them out of their trance, while leaving Yu’s father unconscious to avoid further shocking him.

When the others woke up, they saw that the mass grave had disappeared, but the fox spirits and Impermanence were still there. Their hearts sank again. It was like waking up from a nightmare, only to still be terrified.

Lan He said, “You should head home. Pretend none of this ever happened.”

The two living humans were given this advice by a ghostly enforcer. Their teeth chattered uncontrollably as they glanced at each other, the bloody wounds on their bodies reminding them of the ordeal. They were so weak in the knees that they didn’t dare move.

The paper horses Lan He had folded were reduced to just two, the rest having turned to ash during the fierce battle in the illusion.

Lan He patted the horse, and it nudged the two people. Only then did they gather the courage to shakily climb onto the horse and ride away at full speed, not daring to look back.

There was still a soul lingering, and it seemed like the paper protecting it had run out. Lan He hesitated for a moment and asked Song Futan, “How about borrowing 001 to send her off?”

Song Futan replied, “No.”

Lan He: “…”

Feeling a bit stingy, huh? Lan He thought about saying something, but instead, his face heated up, and he silently rummaged through his bag. Fortunately, he found another sheet of paper and folded it into a horse.

The soul in question was a schoolgirl. She was still terrified, not daring to ask what had happened in this strange world she had stumbled into. Not until Lan He had finished folding the paper horse and helped her onto it did she muster the courage to speak.

“Umm…” the girl said hesitantly.

Lan He replied, “No need to thank me.”

“I wasn’t going to,” the girl said, wide-eyed. “I was going to say, your eyes look just like Zhang Xunchun’s… No, like Lan He’s!”

Lan He: “…”

The girl peered even closer and declared confidently, “You’re practically the Lan He of the underworld!”

Lan He: “…………”

It really did seem like it, huh? Ying Shao and Melonhead Immortal exchanged glances. They had both seen Lan He in person before, and at some point, they too had thought there was a resemblance. For a split second, something flashed through their minds, but it was too fleeting to grasp, or perhaps they subconsciously didn’t want to think about it.

“Hey, you should head home,” Lan He said, waving his fan. “Your father is waiting for you.” The paper horse took off, carrying the girl’s soul back to the living world.

Then, he turned back to Ying Shao and Melonhead Immortal with a nonchalant expression. “So, who are these two people she mentioned, Zhang Xunchun and Lan He? What do they do?”

Those who knew the truth: “…………”

…Two people? He’s really selling it.

Ying Shao’s heart pounded, a vague sense of unease creeping in. He scratched his head awkwardly. “Uh, they’re…celebrities.”

“I’m here! I’m here! Xiao Lai—” Old Bai’s voice echoed as he arrived, followed by a large group of ghostly enforcers and First Lady Hu, who stood out in her long dress.

The enforcers had only been delayed for a few minutes. They had actually arrived earlier, but Hu Si’s illusions, stretching for miles, had affected them. It had taken them some time to break through, and along the way, they had encountered First Lady Hu.

Now, seeing Hu Si already beaten back to her original form, Old Bai clutched his chest in frustration. Why had everything been handled so quickly? He hadn’t even gotten a chance to use all his equipment!

First Lady Hu’s once beautiful face was now even more haggard. Her brow had been twitching all day, and after receiving Old Bai’s signal, she had hesitated but ultimately came in person.

When she got closer, First Lady Hu froze in place.

Before her lay Hu Si, bloodied and torn.

Other than Song Futan, everyone bore some injuries, especially Hu 79. Lan He was burning incense for her and Bai Wu.

Hu Si blinked. Amidst her hatred, there was a trace of longing. It had been such a long time since she had seen First Lady Hu. Seeing her looking so worn out, Hu Si couldn’t help but grin, her sharp fangs showing as she said cheerfully, “Enjoying your time in the capital? It’s a gift from me, after all. What a shame—”

Before she could finish, First Lady Hu let out an enraged shriek: “How dare you?!”

Hu Si was about to retort, *Why wouldn’t I dare?* After bottling up her resentment for so long, she finally felt relieved. She savored First Lady Hu’s irrational fury, grinning wide to show her sharp teeth.

But then, she saw First Lady Hu lunge forward… and start beating Hu 79, who was lying on the ground! Hu 79, utterly helpless, curled up and sobbed, wailing louder than anyone.

Hu Si: “?????”

What the hell, why?!

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Author’s Note:

Lan He: So, this Zhang Xunchun you mentioned… Is he handsome?