I'm Not Shouldering This Blame

STB Chapter 82: Propriety

STB Chapter 81: Secret Love
STB Chapter 83: Base of Operations

“You said before, that you love me!”

Li Fei spreads his hands. This is like the behavior of a man facing an army, making Jian Hua have nothing to say.

“So after signing the contract, I gave you the magazine with the movie poster.”

Jian Hua reflexively looked at the bedroom. He suspects that the secret hidden under his mattress has been exposed.

“You like the role I played……oh, it’s the role we played together!” Li Fei has a relaxed tone. Jian Hua is in a complicated mood, and he’s still looking at Li Fei with incredulity.

Jian Hua also thought so in his heart. In General Wu’s figure behind that screen, there is also a small part that belongs to him. Insignificant, but it does exist, and nothing makes the character powder fan more satisfied than this fact. But this kind of satisfaction can only be considered by Jian Hua for self-entertainment, so he can’t say it.

Not to mention, Li Fei has more charisma even as a vase with only a face. Also when they played a role together, at the end and even if the closing credits are clearly displayed, they would still ask where’s the double? Can he really say that the character is his performance? To be thrown out of the loop in minutes, it’s ridiculous.

“You understood my interpretation and caught my aura.”

This is not a job, but creating art.

“You are different from others.” Li Fei bent over and picked up the chopsticks. He can make the chopsticks float from the floor, but he didn’t do this.

Jian Hua did not reach out to pick it up. Li Fei said sorry and put the chopsticks on the side. His fingers overlap and with a serious expression, “You are the one who deserves my attention.”

“……you mentioned this matter. You noticed me from then on and contacted me to sign me up.”

Jian Hua feels a little sick. Li Fei’s attitude is tough, and it’s not just about putting things straightforwardly. He did not want to talk initially, but Li Fei’s momentum is too strong. He could not help but pick some words.

Li Fei slightly smiled, “When I saw you, I found that you were different from others.”

He repeated those words a second time. Jian Hua frowned at what he should say, and he suddenly felt a heat wave. His heart had a shock. It was as if there was a flame beast staring at himself through Li Fei’s eyes.

Not watching prey, but joy from encountering a worthy opponent. It can’t wait to tear the enemy and conquer a strong opponent. This is a mixture of desire, hope, and longing! Regardless of costs, it was determined to win.

Jian Hua’s face changed. He is very unhappy, and said coldly, “Is this the induction of high-level ability holders? In your eyes, I really am different from others.”

“I thought about it for a long time.” Li Fei said as if to himself, not caring much about Jian Hua’s expression, “I decided to leave it to a crush first.”

“……”

The person who won the Best Actor’s secret love looked on woodenly. He wanted to say something but finally swallowed it back.

The atmosphere in the living room is weird. Jian Hua feels an inexplicable pressure, and Li Fei acts like it was nothing. He was leisurely and relaxedly chatting, “What kind of gender do you like?”

“I don’t like the same sex.”

“Before meeting me?”

“……”

Jian Hua endured. He restrained his mood and did not take away the dishes, even though he wanted to kick out this Movie Emperor to drink the Northwest wind.

——Huai City’s weather today is rain and snow, so the Northwest wind is enough.

Li Fei calmly said, “I once asked myself this question countless times. What kind of gender do I like? Just like a teenager who dreams about his future marriage partner.”

Jian Hua’s face is expressionless: No, he has not.

Because then, he would have to live with another person, and he has no interest in doing this thing for the rest of his life!

Waiting for Jian Hua to digest it, Li Fei then said, “I imagine many standards, many types.”

Jian Hua’s expression became somewhat wrong.

“……but there has been no accurate conclusion until I met you.”

After listening to the last part of the sentence, Jian Hua unexpectedly felt it was ridiculously funny. The level of these sweet words is too low. If put into the film and television circle, the screenwriter would be considered second-rate level.

“And so, you like people like me?” Jian Hua is not going to let Li Fei off.

It’s one thing that he’s attracted to this man, the reality is another matter. Jian Hua hasn’t thought about how to deal with this sudden feeling, and it was directly exposed by Li Fei. He was forced into a showdown to tell him the truth of his “crush for a long time”.

This feeling of pressing harder step by step makes Jian Hua unhappy.

It’s becoming out of control……

“We talked about this possibility before. You are also very clear, about changing the relationship between us, and how much risk and restraints you need to bear.” Jian Hua calms his mind, trying to forget about his strange feelings for Li Fei. “Friends should not be lovers, and allies shouldn’t have a too emotional relationship.”

What Li Fei wants to say, Jian Hua blocked it:

“I can’t see your preference, and I can’t tell the truth and false of your words. We also don’t have the time to talk about these.”

How to survive the Abandoned World, and how to survive in the real world is the most important thing.

“We can talk about feelings.”

The low voice is full of indescribable temptation. Jian Hua did not respond, and he gave a puzzled look to Li Fei.

“The fact now is, we are attracted to each other.”

“……you act like you’re attracted to me.” Jian Hua corrected.

Someone who acts too well, even if they became more expressive, Jian Hua can’t believe it so quickly.

Li Fei leaned back in his chair. The clothes he wore had been wrinkled, and his right arm pressed on the his clothes, loosening his shirt collar buttons, and exposing his white neck to his collarbone.

His Adam’s apple moved slightly while talking and his lips curled somewhat in a smile.

Obviously, there are no wasted movements, and Jian Hua’s breathing stagnated for a full three seconds.

Li Fei deeply looked at him, “We can also not talk about feelings, and just feel it.”

Jian Hua looks dangerously at him.

The food on the table is no longer hot. The soup is also covered with a layer of oil.

Southern cities have no heating, and the old air conditioner doesn’t have enough power. A chill spreads from the feet. This cold and clammy feeling penetrating to the bone marrow, even if the doors and windows are closed, there is still a cold wind hovering in the room.

An icy palm covered the back of Jian Hua’s hand.

Both parties are very cold.

There is hardly any temperature.

Jian Hua subconsciously shrinks his hands. As a result, his knuckles inadvertently touched Li Fei’s palm. Both hands shivered and Li Fei fully wrapped his hand.

Warmth is constantly coming through the palm of his hands, penetrating beneath the skin.

The effect is better than the heater. It was just the right temperature, and Jian Hua used a lot of willpower just to withdraw his hand.

The mycelium had a mind of its own and jumped, scrambling to wound around Li Fei’s palm——where is the heater, it’s obviously the fire ability so how can the greedy mushrooms let it go? Since the owner does not want, they can eat the energy, right?

“Release!” Jian Hua’s expression is not right, hurrying to order the mushrooms to move away.

The hyphae are reluctant and hovered nearby.

——They kept the reserved grain for a long time! It’s just taking a bite, so why can’t they touch it!

It turned out to be the owner’s private property ah!

“You’re crazy. My abilities will swallow your power!” Jian Hua found out the truth that the “heater” seems to be the energy that Li Fei sends to warm him.

“I have a sense of propriety.”

“……”

Someone with a sense of propriety will ask his friend to become his bed partner?

“Button your clothes.” Jian Hua stuffily reminded.

Li Fei didn’t care, “Fire ability holders won’t freeze to death.”

“You!”

Jian Hua held his forehead with his arms and weakly went towards his bedroom while slamming the door close.

Rain hit the glass, fragmented snowflakes quickly melt into water and flowed down the window sill.

Separated by a door, he vaguely heard the movements outside. It should be Li Fei clearing the table as the sound of water came from the kitchen.

January 1st. The old city can hear the sound of firecrackers, the residents in the community come and go to their homes, the racket from pai gow (gambling game played with dominoes), and the children yelling for their pets. The noise was endless.

From luxury to economic, from being used to sleeping on the superior mattress of the villa, now that Jian Hua is lying on the bed of his own home, he felt very uncomfortable. Almost every muscle is protesting on this bed.

The cervical vertebrae is complaining, the waist and back is protesting, and even the shoulders are starting to hurt.

Jian Hua forced himself to close his eyes, and ignored the discomfort.

However, after closing his eyes, Li Fei’s face appeared before Jian Hua’s eyes.

——no longer like the facial features of a familiar stranger when he first saw him in that coffee shop, .

In the past, Li Fei is like a blank piece of paper in Jian Hua’s heart. Only General Wu, this character has a distinct color, while all the other places on the paper are lines drawn by black pens, empty and strange.

As the time goes by, there was some additional character added to this piece of paper. It can’t compare to General Wu, but it’s not too bad.

Finally, Jian Hua found that the paper in his hand is not blank at all. It has outstanding quality in itself, making the color of the paper eye-catching and bright. It was simply different.

If Jian Hua now wants to find the shadow of General Wu from the appearance of Li Fei, it has become increasingly difficult.

He was Li Fei itself, and his other qualities interfere with his attention.

Jian Hua was upset and took the poster from under the mattress.

He found that the memory of General Wu is blurred in his mind. He began to wonder who “General Wu” is, and who 《Black Bamboo》 ‘s He Ning is, because these roles overlap, and finally became Li Fei’s face.

——He is the whole of these people, and a long way different from them.

Jian Hua reposted the poster on the wall.

He opens the door, and walk to the sofa in the living room. With tired eyes, he said to Li Fei, “Tell me about your family.”

Li Fei is somewhat taken aback.

He gave a very strong medicine, trying to force Jian Hua to face his feeling.

Because according to Jian Hua’s temper, if he is not aggressive, Jian Hua would wait until the Abandoned World disappears, and the world is back to normal before confessing.

“My family? They had each set up new families for themselves more than 20 years ago. One of them I think is an insurance salesman, and the other one is an office worker who I think works from nine to five.” Li Fei laughed at himself.

“……don’t they watch the entertainment news?” Jian Hua is not convinced.

Li Fei has a high exposure rate. Even if they’re strangers, his birth parents still wouldn’t recognize him?

“They have seen my five-year-old look. After that, I guess there was no other impression. I found them about a few years ago. I only had enough time to talk to them through the phone, but they told me before I could open my mouth, that I’m not young anymore. They assumed that I probably called since I need to buy a house to get married, but they have no money and that they also have other children, so I shouldn’t come to them.” Li Fei drawled out, “They didn’t even give me the opportunity to talk, so I forgot about it.”

STB Chapter 81: Secret Love
STB Chapter 83: Base of Operations
Advertisements

9 thoughts on “STB Chapter 82: Propriety”

  1. It’s seems JH afraid of love?? Or he afraid at something that affects his life or personal barriers ?? Before.. he falls for the character and confess to him because he knew his wish will not come true.. Now come someone that can tear down his wall so he is now restless?? I actually don’t understand JH feelings??
    I actually include with not believe love at first sight type.. So I actually felt right when both of them spend some time together before and then fall in love..
    But what difference between “suspension bridge” and love?? I mean love can sprouts with any type of situation.. So it is not wrong to felt love when trouble time arise, right??

  2. I can feel the static charge in the air when LF holds JH’s hand. Noooo authoorrr… Why did u tease us soo…. TTOTT
    I want moooaaarrreee~~

  3. Thanks for the chapter! I think Jian Hua is a natural introvert, and the rough life he had after his life fell apart as a teen caused him to stand back from relationships. While he understands how to get along with people and be a decent person, he has no desire to open his heart. Li Fei has cracked his shell open and it’s both scary and unknown territory to Jian Hua. Li Fei got tired of waiting, and forced his sweetie actually examine his feelings.

  4. I feel bad for LF, but it is kind of a good thing that his parents didn’t let him speak before they told him to f*ck off. If he had told them about his job and how much money he makes, they would have probably leeched off of him.

How about something to motivate me to continue....